Jim’s penis retreats, and Ned silently thanks the cosmic gods, until Whiskers mists Ned’s face with his glans’ ejected residue.

Weekly reminder that I write things and shit.

One time in my twenties I was at a house party we got the “bright” idea to shout at a dude with a can of spray cheese that he should snort it. He was drunk enough himself to try and that is how I saw a man try to rail EZ cheez so hard he passed out from the effort leaving his face smeared in cheddar

Let's play real life news article or Wikipedia entry for one of my favorite @stephenking.bsky.social novels. In 2025, the world's economy is in shambles and America has become a totalitarian dystopia.

Ten minutes from now or so the newest entry of The Out of Order Fuckery of Jim & Ned hits Wattpad at this link.

If you avoid 2000 AD because you're not a Dredd fan, just remember there's usually 5+ stories a prog, you're forsaking some really amazing stories and art due to a Mega City One aversion, which is understandable Dredd's not my taste either and I'm finding my error out now.

What now I gotta learn Portuguese? Okay fiiiinnneeee.

From today’s entry. The Out of Order Fuckery of Jim & Ned out weekly Mondays 9AM EST http://bit.ly/3ZThYI

Horror is the longest enduring in popularity and passion of its creators and fans, yet it's still so patently looked down upon that awards ceremonies don't acknowledge it as a genre and lump it in either with musicals and comedies or against the prestige dramas despite literally an unwavering output

New Out of Order Fuckery of Jim & Ned entry debuts on Wattpad in 1.5 hours!

From the “I read the best comics” file

Cleopatra lived closer in time to 'yeet' being in the dictionary than to the construction of the Great Pyramid of Giza.

Coming soon to a theater near you, they've come light years through space to enter the biggest tractor pull of all time using their spaceship. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Space Rednecks!

Today's my biological dad's birthday, I didn't know him well and his ancestry is fairly uncertain beyond his having been a member of the Makah people. Anyway I suppose thanks for the genetic stuff and sorry I wasn't the best at connecting.

If you think you know Colin Hay's Down Under from the Men at Work version boy are you wrong! Easily the definitive version

Me in an alternate universe introducing a cover of Corpse’s Puncture Wound Massacre. “Here’s a home birthing song 🎶Stab hack slash kill Stab hack slash kill Kick in the door in a barbaric rage🎶”

I'm not old, but I'm 40% ibuprofen.

Oh I just news I got the campaign, I'm now the proud gut of "Body by Burger King"!

If one thing holds true in life based on Luger’s experience it’s this, a poor man with a debt will try to pay what he can when he can but a rich man with a debt will instead call in favors to prevent repayment from ever happening.

dolly parton as fireworks: thread

I do love this song

Do you think Sticky Fingers is named the way it is as euphemism for stealing or did Mick Jagger shake hands with Ernest Borgnine once? These are the kinds of thoughts that kept me from the really good schools.

Oh I’m so good at promotion! Yesterday The Out of Order Fuckery of Jim & Ned went live on Wattpad!

Some night time melodies

I often wonder how my ostensibly-still-friends-despite-their-Zionism-that-we-never-talk-about can follow anything I post about Israel’s relentless assault on children, doctors, UN & WCK staff, & journalists, & truly nothing less than the wholesale dismissal of reality is required I guess

Comic book publishers when they’re having a recurring nightmare: No… no! No writer only submission!

I once tried to be someone else, but they yelled "GIVE ME BACK MY SKIN!" and that felt kinda mean so I gave them back their skin. Anyway how's the hammer hanging folks?

Everyone's favorite Canadian madman accompanied by Dutch angel Anneke van Giersbergen

Late 2019 my wife started talking nervously about that mystery illness that the mainstream press was very much ignoring. Now she's telling me she's got the same nervous feeling (and has for months) about the lack of US response for containing the outbreak of bird flu. Fun fuckin' times.

To quote the great PG "I do not care for hunky boys... Or do I?"

Riddle me this Batman, if I was such a bad student why did the teacher always want to see me after class?! HUH?!

The Brutalist is stunning but going forward I’ll be googling “how many handjobs does this movie have?” before choosing to watch with my parents.

I don’t like how folk are trying to read shame. If you read 100 books, awesome. If you read 10 books, awesome. Just read.

I'm working on an idea, slasher subverting the tropes by not exposing massive character flaws in the victims, we're just over here cheering and hooting for the gruesome murders of good people who didn't deserve a bit of the horrible things I have planned for them. Remember fiction not a plan! :D

My toxic trait is as a deaf person I can't have music on outside of headphones so everyone has to listen to music-less versions of my singing songs. Today's involved some death metal, Britney Spears, and a classic currently being sung!

I'm a giant nerd who not only has a ton of digital media (when I can it's even bought as directly from the creators as possible, fuck Amazon and co!) but a need to be able to use it anywhere in the world because see point about nerd. For comics I've setup Kavita, this is how it looks. bit.ly/4gU3Wx5

From Jason Pargin/David Wong's (same dude, used a pseudonym for the first few books) This Book is Full of Spiders. I am once again, imploring the general public at large pick up a book, a tablet, a phone read some words that are designed to entertain. Unplug from the crazy of life and explore!

From The Out of Order Fuckery of Jim & Ned Entry 10 (due out 2/3/24 on Wattpad) bit.ly/3ZThYI

Discovered a great creator owned UK based comic publisher. Horror nuts, check out Afterlight comics. Digital and physical on offer direct from them.

Back to 6 weeks ahead on Jim & Ned stories. YAY!

Album of the day! @saurabhchoraria.bsky.social

so if I'm understanding the tech-bro position correctly, it's this