Happy Valentine’s Day I love you all 💘

The one that really brings it home is casually mentioning something innocuous in conversation and then watching everyone’s head turn towards you as the sound of the record scratch dies away

Spend four years honing your body to the absolute peak of performance, spend three minutes showing the world what you can do, and the next ten days absolutely wrecking beds. This IS the Olympian ideal.

you know what's cheaper and safer than a ring camera? a fake camera. I've had one since my last porch theft three years ago and it even fooled the eye of a cop trying to get me to snitch on my neighbors. you can't subpoena a recording that doesnt exist.

I hate insta but love Jitty www.instagram.com/p/DUWvmUvDF4x/

Closet American

Help me make sense of trading Jaren Jackson Jr. Did the Grizz overpay him? Yeah, probably. Is he the long term problem with the roster? No.

I don’t know how northerners put up with this nonsense. A week on from the ice/sleet/snow disaster and everything is still frozen and slick as shit. And yall do this every year, straight through to March?

"Where did you get all that from?" Books, dude. Just books.

January 30, 1969: The Beatles perform an unannounced concert on the rooftop of the Apple building in central London. They played a 42-minute set. It was their final performance.

Watched “Ocean’s Eleven” for the second time this week and even 25 years on, it’s still great.

Still haven’t started drinking yet today, but it’s getting close

Y’all, the current production of “The Outsiders” is goddamn PHENOMENAL

You know what’s super fun to do while a giant winter storm is barreling in at you? Why, rewire your thermostat of course!

It’s been a while since I didn’t hate one or both teams in the CFP finals, so this was an easy one to enjoy. Go Hoosiers!

Make People Happy*

The Mandalorian attempts to distract a T-Rex with a flare: This is the “Hey! Hey!”

discovered a pretty critical coding error in The Human Body where sometimes the way to feel better when you feel too bad to work out is to work out. this is suboptimal for user experience of The Human Body

this still slaps youtu.be/ZQ_MEFVx5jM?...

Slightly diminish a band U1.8

11 seconds and the whole field open and Ole Miss is like “hold my beer”

Every time I’ve seen this or something similar, I can’t help but ask: “How?” Tons of single family homes are held by individuals, but lots are in trusts or held by LLCs or other legal vehicles and not always necessarily for nefarious purposes.

Tried mahjong for the first time tonight. Might have enjoyed it more if I’d have spent the previous five hours funneling prosecco like the other folks I played with. Ah, well - live and learn.

There’s a bowl game where they eat the mascot, one where they dump French fries on the winning coach, one with a vat of cheez-its, one with infinite mayonnaise, one with a hot tub full of Frosted Flakes. What does the Armed Forces Bowl even have to offer? Or the Reliaquest Bowl?

hey girl, hey. hey. hey. girl... heeey.

The physician’s lounge at my hospital switched the “unholy drink cloaca,” and it’s always broken.

Curt Cignetti’s arched eyebrow game is unmatched

Oregon’s Atticus Sappington is a reminder that all monacled, mustache-twirling elderly aristocrats were once baby-faced twenty-somethings with something to prove.

Making guacamole for tonight’s Festival Of Dips and “You’re Not going to start this game” keeps running through my head.

we wouldn't need a new year if they didn't keep making them shittier and shittier all the time

Pasta incoming! I think this is going to be ravioli when it grows up.

Damn, VJ Edgecombe is real, real good.

Every time you think, “This couldn’t get worse, could it?” It does.

It’s Christmas week, and at our house that means pierogi.

Only thing that beats a cabal is a junta

Nothing like watching a first-timer attempt to operate a Coke Freestyle machine. And as much as I’d like to attribute that to the continuing decline of civilization, the fact is that machine is too complicated for its own good, especially for what should be an idiot-proof function.

when my kids were little i knew all the things, now i don’t know any of the things. what are the things

Caught The Matrix on the original release in Berlin on the 4th of July. Spoke only English all day.

Bourbon barrel stout in the mainline mothetfucker

learning is doing. whoever is doing the talking is doing the learning. whoever is doing the production is doing the learning.

Y’all, this is NOT how bidets work.

1. Clue 2. Princess Bride 3. The Shawshank Redemption 4. Jurassic Park 5. Holy Grail I listen to these movies at work sometimes when my podcasts suck. I’ve seen them so many times that I don’t need to watch anymore, but I still love every second.

I deliberately realigned my Thanksgiving pie lineup so that I wouldn’t be stuck finishing off an apple pie that nobody else ate. The chocolate went first serving. The pumpkin lasted until the next dinner. And now I’m slogging through a goddamn pecan pie solo. It’s a weight watchers horror story.

“MY PEOPLE!”

One of the best perks of hosting Thanksgiving is being able to shut down bullshit ranting. No, random distant relative: that shit does not fly in my house.

First time my current oven died was on Thanksgiving day. Went to bake the bread I’d been working and was unpleasantly surprised to find no preheating, or heating of any kind. Still, wrapped it up and managed to cadge enough time in my in-laws oven to get it on the table.

I will never get this out of my head

listen, recipe video woman, don't make exaggerated 'this tastes so good!' faces at me, i am not an infant and am already familiar with both food and eating, thanks