Next to making everyone shave and having a professional makeup salon for TV appearances, Soviet-style purges are best way to get our warfighters totally pumped for lethality.

"Viktoriia’s body was missing the brain, eyes and a segment of the trachea. "Forensic analysis later revealed burn marks consistent with electric shocks and a fractured rib. The hyoid bone in her neck was broken, an injury that can occur during strangulation."

Valentyna described long months of struggling with “drone trauma.” The incessant nighttime buzzing and frequent explosions had burdened her with anxiety, migraines and insomnia that antidepressants and sedatives failed to alleviate.

Every time Trump cozies up to Putin, know that he's groveling for the approval of a man who's systematically targeting apartment buildings where the only enemy combatants are young moms and two-year-olds.

Them: “Cities are all rotting hellscapes!” Cities:

We probably didn't need a study to tell us this, but...

If only there was a way to keep children from being shot and not bankrupt their families if they're lucky enough to survive.

Lynx coach Cheryl Reeve on the Minnesota shooting: "The sad thing is we can't sit here and tell them that help is on the way. Because we're not going to do a damn thing about it."

Father Michael Louis Pfleger a priest at the Sabina Catholic Church, a Black parish in Chicago's Auburn Gresham neighborhood has a message for Trump! Before you dare speak about any violence in Chicago, look into your mirror, and address the violence coming from the White House! 🔥

imagine being so maniacally racist that you side with the fire over the firefighter

A shitty, $65,000-a-year school where a computer teaches your kids for just two hours a day is the ultimate MAGA money grab. Watch the goobers line up to sacrifice their children.

We’re basically living in a One Third Reich.

The villains may be villaining, but they will get no peace.

Couldn’t think of the word for kale so I ordered a “plate of green sadness” and they knew exactly what to bring.

Mike Luckovich. . We understand We know

🥴😳🥴

Nothing shows MAGA's disconnect from reality more than celebrating a trust fund candy ass who's never been in a fight in his life as the benchmark for manhood and courage.

Yaroslav had yet to step out of the flat when a ballistic missile slammed into the building. The staircase collapsed. His entire family was gone.

Maybe -- just maybe -- we can learn something for a guy who attracts lines down the block just to see him.

Just when you thought you've encountered the worst human possible, another rears his head.

Target's customer base is young professional women. But its CEO caved to inbreds, blowhards, halfwits, and 40-year-olds who live in their grandma's tool shed. Moral of the story: Frothing Twitter posts don't equate to buying power.

An elderly man blubbering incoherently in a golf cart is only "shock and awe" for those worried he that escaped from the nursing home.

😂🤡🥴

Kid Rock is so angry at Gavin Newsom press release.

We're now spending $1 million a day to protect us from Aunt Ginny, who's visiting from Missouri and vows to go rogue if she can't find a public bathroom.

...And that's when America decided to showboat her beauty.

Trump is refusing to provide additional funds to cover Hegseth’s unusually bloated personal security arrangements.

Radical Left President "DONALD J. TRUMP" (no six pack!) CUCKHOLDED by "Favorite Governor" Gavin Newsom! Melanie drooling (needs bib)! Trump has "Weak Biceps," can't even find them! No Viagra SHIPMENT to White House from Pfizer "This Month!" WOKE CEO MUST BE FIRED IMMEDIATELY!

Caption: Man wholly lacking in self-awareness shows off prized baseball hat collection as guests feign interest to keep him from cozying up with a serial killer.

Being against vaccines when diseases are rampant (measles, Covid) is like adding chlorine to the gene pool. Darwin is watching.

Gavin Newsom, riding that big horse.

Make D.C. restaurants great again!

I live in DC - the National Guard just hang out around the monuments; tourists take selfies with them like they’re statues, there are Humvees parked next to food trucks, and they’re guarding the Capitol like it’s the last beer in the fridge at a frat house. 🤷‍♀️

A reminder that the Israeli government is not the same as the Israeli people, just as we'd hope the world would see that we are not all Trump.

Your favorite Governor, "Mike DeWine" (not Gavin Newsom), is sending Ohio National Guard to D.C. to bail out Beta Cuck President "Donald J. Trump" (bad raccoon hair!), who's too weak to protect "Georgetown Gucci." Many say he "Throws Baseball" like a girl. Sad.

Has anyone else noticed the deterioration of ass-kissing? Where the innovation? The new material? It feels like the bootlickers are just mailing it in.

Fact-Checking Trump On Crime theonion.com/fact-ch...

We sent a butter knife to a gunfight and Fox is acting surprised.

Turns out that Putin's not afraid of a 79-year-old trust fund punk after all. Sad.

A useful WaPo map of where Trump Storm Troops are actually operating in DC. www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/202... If you know DC, what this map tell you is: They're making the gaudy show of strength in areas where it matters least and will do least good. Except for sheer spectacle.

You'd think we couldn't get any more depraved after deporting a 4-year-old U.S. citizen with stage 4 cancer. But you know we will. Probably before the week's out.

Only a serial rapist can save Washington, D.C. from its declining crime rate. Everybody knows that.

This is the hero America needs right now.

Netanyahu is looking to break Stalin and Pol Pot's records before the season is over.

OMG 😭