Arguably the most savage part of America right now: Doctors playing roulette with mothers' lives out of fear they'll go to prison for performing an emergency abortion.

As someone who doesn't even play a professional decorator on TV, I must admit the artificial hue captures the essence of the Trump administration.

Ohio Congressman Max Miller, another shining moral light of MAGA family values.

At the Minnesota Lynx WNBA game. If only men's leagues used their powers for good and not just money.

America's Congress would ban he singing of Ode to Joy after pushback from the sizeable anti-joy caucus and lobbying from the health insurance industry.

Making severely injured veterans wait months to see a doctor doesn't feel like we're making America very great again.

Really wish some person or org could make 17-year-old 5-star football recruits understand the potential political power they hold by simply refusing to go play In states that disenfranchise black voters.

Years after losing its testicles, Disney/ABC finds them under the baby's crib, decides to see if they're still operative by fighting back against the FCC and convenience store villain Brendan Carr.

Donald Trump is a lock to win a Daytime Emmy in the Best Male Drama Queen category.

Todd Blanche has to show ID because he looks suspiciously like the D.C. Dine & Dash Bandit.

Oh, look… it’s Jim Crow and Uncle Tom…

To the guy in the White House who conceived this: St. Peter awaits you with a broken piece of rebar and Old Testament vengeance on his mind.

During these trying times, what the country needs most is an opulent ballroom the country will be barred from ever setting foot in. Thanks, Mr. President!

Breaking News: "Long Thought Dead, Ted Cruz's Balls Reemerge, Emaciated But Alive, Say Detectives."

Leading financial advisors offer counsel on how to excel today's economy.

The most American store ever. Starks Liquor in Prairie Du Chien, Wisconsin, where the guns are conveniently located above the liquor for your shopping pleasure.

$400M for Trump's ballroom? On top of: -$1.5T for the Pentagon -$170B for ICE and Border Patrol -$1B to refurbish Trump's Qatar jet -$496M to send National Guard into cities -$230M for Trump's DOJ "compensation" -$100M for Trump's golf outings But nothing for working people.

Breaking news: "Satan Announces Layoffs of Entire Research and Developing Team, Saying He'll Just Copy Whatever UnitedHealthcare is Doing."

Elon Musk, putting the "welfare" in "welfare queen."

Number of people who go bankrupt every year because of medical bills or illness-related work loss: 🇦🇺 0 🇨🇦 0 🇩🇰 0 🇫🇮 0 🇫🇷 0 🇩🇪 0 🇮🇸 0 🇮🇪 0 🇮🇹 0 🇯🇵 0 🇳🇱 0 🇳🇴 0 🇵🇹 0 🇪🇸 0 🇸🇪 0 🇬🇧 0 🇺🇸 530,000 There’s a lesson there.

Nikolai’s daughters and their children escaped abroad. The next year, with doctors and pharmacists scarce, he lost his wife Olena to illness, an uncounted casualty of war.

We're No. 1... in gluttony!

The Trump administration may be incompetent in all matters governance, but its thieving skills demand respect.

Donald Trump plans to present Donald Trump with the Medal of Honor, the nation's highest award for a guy who watches the war on TV from a country club in Florida.

Secretary of War Pete Hegseth pauses plans to attack Jamaica, admitting his new White Claw Missile in development is no match for the arsenal of the Jamaican Armed Forces.

The Pitt: MAGA Edition

The monument to Irving Marchenko, the plastic surgeon who invented Mar-a-Lago Face, in the hills of Palm Beach.

Not really a super big fan of cringe comedy, but it turns out my appetite for JD Vance humiliation is voracious.

If Donald Trump was Jesus, the Bible would be 1,200 pages of non-stop whining, with intermittent bragging about how he won the Masters.

The biggest whiner states are also the biggest welfare states. Coincidence?

Trump is the only president in U.S. history where you need a moment to think if it might be true.

Congress is so funny. The world could be blown to smithereens and half of them would be like not sure this is a kitchen table issue.

Somewhere in southern Ohio, J.D. Vance's soul is going for 75 percent off in a closeout bin at Walmart.

The chronology of Trump's month-long tantrum. This is when mom calls grandma to see if she can take junior for a few weeks. Grandma begs off, claiming she has a hair appointment, then stops answering the phone.

Venom & Weakness, the new reality show in which aging trust funders must endure grueling challenges like doing their own laundry and shoveling the sidewalk without yelling at the maid. Coming this fall to CBS.

Putting Republicans in charge of the economy is akin to making Kristi Noem president of the Humane Society.

Gallup Poll shows Mephistopheles is in retreat, fleeing to his summer home along a parched creek bed outside Tulsa.

Border Patrol boss Michael W. Banks is completely on MAGA brand by A) tormenting colleagues with the mental image of a middle age man having sex and B) acknowledging the listener's assumption that of course he had to pay for it.

This sounds less like a threat and more like a prize you'd win at a bar raffle.

Kristi Noem torched $70 million in tax dollars on a flying love nest for her boyfriend. Back home in South Dakota, her husband blew $25k on big boob fetish sites. Patriots spare no expense for sex.

The staying power of the paid protester ruse is evidence that we should probably emphasize critical thinking skills in schools.

"After Donald Trump himself, nobody embodies the crass, sneering, preening, half-witted attitude of MAGAified America more than Hegseth. The self-styled “secretary of war” would have made a fitting mascot for Team USA given the aggressive ignorance."

Hakeem Jeffries is an inspirational figure on par with Martin Luther King, if Martin Luther King was the monosyllabic guy who works at the gas station down the street.

A small reminder that white guys constitute just 30 percent of the U.S. population. Which means that Pete Hegseth, the dumbest secretary of defense in history, is systematically purging 70 percent of the military's potential brain power. (Gift article.)

Say what you will about ICE, but it's inspiring a golden age of creativity.

It feels much safer now that ICE has changed its name to the Department of Standing Around at the Airport.