After +16 years I have decided to hang up my consulting boots. Here is a list of things I won't miss: - Timesheets - Referring to my boss as my "partner" - Creating a presentation deck for a meeting that could have been an email - That Georgia font

*clutches my sting of calcium carbonate secretion balls made by oysters and clams

Pond scape, with bonus baby frogs

Victoria Beckham's documentary was less spicy than I expected. 🥁

Brah. What is even going on with this world? I would like a refund.

In honour of spooky month, share a 4 word horror story that only someone in your profession would understand.

We've got an uncle in the furniture business...

We're having a heritage day celebration at the office so I dressed up in a beautiful sari. (But mostly because I want to look good for the rapture)

I won't say I'm not tempted...

Satisfyingly fantastic song this one. What a voice open.spotify.com/track/2PGdkS...

Wordle 1,538 4/6 ⬛⬛🟩⬛⬛ ⬛⬛🟩⬛⬛ ⬛⬛🟩🟨⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Yasis

Sometimes my husband and I try to out-cute each other with our outfit choices and all it achieves is us being too damn adorable for the streets of Joburg.

It's a hot morning, the leaves and flowers are popping, my pool looks like a Van Gogh

realistic Star Trek

Really jealous of trees and their ability to turn over a new leaf.

It's not Ai It's an I You morons.

Spring came in so fast that the cherry blossoms didn't get the chance to osso, they went from 0 to blom.

I know I'm old because I can barely understand the language that the cats are using these days. Can haz translayshun plz?

Do you think my cat is offended by me not electing to use her name in any of my passwords?

I'm applying for jobs. Criteria: ☑️ Stay at home ☑️ Breakfast and dinner provided ☑️ Multiple seating options ☑️ A long stick with a feather on the end ☑️ A patch of catnip Qualifications: Very good at meowing Also very good at pushing objects off a table

Please enjoy this Klimt Eastwood

It's all downhill past 40, apparently And to that I say... Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Engagement bait post your lock screen

"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing." ~ Agatha Christie Summer (1911) 🎨 Nikolay Bogdanov-Belsky

Female gaze, male gaze... Whatever. Both are far less superior than the "that person has a cute dog" gaze.

Now taking volunteers to be my left hand, cos the right is taken open.spotify.com/track/68SNAU...

If I have to force myself to think about weird things that guys do, my brain immediately resorts to an image of the batwing.

If you aren’t making these sounds when eating are you really enjoying your food?

My only critique about the upcoming Hail Mary movie is that Ryan Gosling is too handsome to portray a science teacher/astro-not

Me time, by Alison Friend

I asked the AI for parrots monkeys instead of parrots, monkeys and inadvertently created our next supreme overlords. They'll steal your things and tell on you to your mom. All hail the parrot monkey.

Received these beautiful champagne glasses for my birthday and it's making me feel like Gatsby, but without the undercurrent of angst.

I don't jump to conclusions I fall into them like a black hole and bonk my head and everything goes dark and then I... Oh wait no, that's a concussion. I don't jump to concussions.

I made spicy, firm and not slimy jollof rice. Go tell your aunty

I have ☑️Rice ☑️Leftover tomato soup ☑️Onions ☑️Bell peppers ☑️Spices In this episode I will make the most basterdised version of jollof rice. Don't tell your aunty.

Yasis Went for drinks and stopped for take-away bunny chows after. I swear, this Indian uncle saw my face, heard my speech, and thought it wasn't fit for a lady of my age to walk around with a slur. Uncle served a curry so hot that I think I'm more sober than I was yesterday afternoon.

Not all opinions are entitled. Some are italic.

An item on my wishlist is culinary tweezers, but nearly impossible to find here. I need them so bad. Why? So I can write intricate fuck you's with micro-greens. Duh.

Found the best dive-bar in my neighborhood. The drinks are cheap and they serve samosas that some aunty lovingly made. They're so cheap, they can't afford to play the original songs.

This sun dog wants a treat but only if you bring it to him without casting a shadow

*church music playing* *Lady pastor speaking in a melodic voice* "It's time to move beyond the chickens.. chickens bring you down.. you must rise like an eagle" Discrimination now extended to birds. No being is safe.

Constantly seeking a timeless timeous watch.

Mmmmraow

More cars should be made to look like frogs.