Just recalled this line that came to me in a dream, without any context : “It is important to remember that, at the time, the name ‘McTitties’ did not mean what it does today”

I was just in the park and I saw a teenage boy (about 14) reach into his pant pocket and pull out a loose slice of cheese pizza. Grey sweatpants, out comes a full unprotected, verticle slice of pizza. Then yelled "FUCK, the tomato sauce got everywhere" ... Teenage boys are true chaos demons.

Me watching Andor “I simply would not have allowed a Sith Lord rise to the highest political office in the Galactic Republic.”

Business emails: We just use the standard font. Roboto or Helvetica. We don't even know how to change that. Spam emails somehow:

Guested on this podcast and awakened my inner tyrant

📣 BIG ANNOUNCEMENT 📣 I'm going to be filming a comedy special in Toronto on April 16th on a double bill with friend and hilarious comedian @craigfaycomedy.bsky.social One ticket price and you get to see two comedy specials from some fun lads. Please come! Tickets at: comedybar.ca/shows/craig-...

COMEDY SPECIAL FILMING 🔥🔥🔥 Our award winning podcast hosts @ivimey.bsky.social & @craigfaycomedy.bsky.social are filming comedy specials in Toronto on April 16! One ticket price for double the ha's. Don't miss out. Tickets at: comedybar.ca/shows/craig-...

🎵 Hot crossed buns Hot crossed buns 4.99 a dozen 5.99 a dozen Inflations a bitch 🎵

cop in The Wicker Man (leaving unharmed because he slept with that hot blonde): what a strange, sexy island

Just hanging out tonight and don’t know how else to say this but, is tonight Sapphic Valentines?

“Hey hey, it’s the MORNING DRIVE with Peterson and the Rizz reminding you to make your bed and that vegetables are for pussies. *airhorn* Now strap in cause we got the latest from 3 Days Grace right after this word from our sponsor…”

A message to our podcast listeners.

Had to gently explain to my fiancé that “the weird guy from all those Wes Anderson movies” was not as specific a description as he may have thought.

Oh, so they’re going to make us the 51st state?! Just wait u til they find out you can’t get Hulu up here.

Come visit our co-creator @wordsofdiana.bsky.social at Toronto Comic Con to get a signed copy of her book "Sex Lives Of Superheroes".

The slogan for Jameson Whiskey should be "Jameson, the free shot you do with a bartender when they decide you're cool"

Somewhere, in a tiny little bar, the best musician you’ve never heard is pouring their heart out while someone scooches past the stage to get to the bathroom.

I’m just saying, the severed floor got a lot more work done before they put Milchick in charge.

Mr bad Dr. Fineburg, I wasn’t familiar with your game.

It's that time again @craigfaycomedy.bsky.social youtu.be/C8cSe21Ngow?...

If you say it fast and pronounce “Reno” like the city you’ll sound like Ned Flanders

Saw this and thought “why is it so cold in Nevada?”

Up there with Peter Parker for having aunts/uncles that show the fuck up.

Gonna open a restaurant called “Tzatziki Tsar”

This guy is such a curmudgeon. If he was an overpriced Italian sports car he’d be a Miserati.

“Craig Fay vs Technology”

Tonight has very strong “the hotel is going to be mad at me for crashing here” energy

Well, someone’s going to be anxious about losing that I bet.

The doorbell is for Uber Eats and Amazon deliveries. Text me “here” like a civilized human being.

If Trump changes the name to “Gulf of America”, Mexico has the opportunity to do the funniest thing with the Gulf of California.

Gotta schedule some time to achieve my goals in-between being overwhelmed and exhausted.