Let's be clear: if my daughter has autism it's DEFINITELY from me, but it has nothing to do with Tylenol.

The rise in fascism is a greater threat to more people than any supposed rise in autism. Guns have and will continue to kill and maim more children than Tylenol. The rapture isn’t happening. Mass shootings do. Daily. Focus on the real problems. Release the Epstein files.

My kid turns 3 today. How is that even possible?

I BEEN SAYING!!!

WOMENS RUGBY WORLD CUP 🇨🇦🍁

Am I the only one who has read The Way of Kings and found it boring AF?

I'm thinking about getting a weighted vest for dog walks. Is that too old for me? Nah...

Just opened a new tab and sir Michael Caine was featured. My heart stopped. But he's still alive! Woohoo!!

- you clean up that banksy? - sure did, your honour, leaving a perfect, permanent outline, imbuing the work with real fuckin gravitas while making its point better than the artist did himself just like you asked

Imagine if we actually did this

That’s because it’s a crime, Donald.

Having an upset stomach in the office is one of the circles of hell.

Just now realizing “One day you’ll understand” was a dire warning

"Can you turn on music so me and my toys can dance?" - My adorable toddler in the bath.

The Onion News Network truck is currently stationed outside the Broadview ICE Detention facility just outside of Chicago.

He probably thinks the vaccines killed them.

His military flyover of the Epstein Survivor's Press Conference was like when a little kid puts their fingers in their ears, saying "Nyah, nyah, nyah I can't hear you!"! Pathetic, hugely expensive & hilariously ineffective. #TerrifiedOfTheEPSTEIN_Files 😨

WTAF.

Oh HELL yes

RFK JR: You’re just making stuff up Hassan: Sometimes when you make an accusation, it’s kind of a confession

If you don’t believe in vaccines block me.

I hate when IG fitness accounts are like “if you’re eating peanut butter, string cheese, and nuts and think you’re snacking healthy THINK AGAIN” and it’s like dear god please there are only so many foods

Guess who turns 41 today??

And I would never want to get between Ted and a trip to Cancun when there’s an emergency in Texas

Just booked a haircut in December if you want to know my current anxiety levels. For me planning reduces anxiety...

This hits harder than when I saw this movie the first time. #CaptainAmerica

Bravo to ALL of the brave women speaking out today. #ReleasetheEpsteinFiles

can’t talk, I’m about to win this argument I’m having with someone in my head

Major Canadian grocery stores caught labelling American items as ‘made in Canada’ “Canada’s grocery oligopoly appears to be engaging in false advertising.” cultmtl.com/2025/09/majo...

I'm aware that the President likes to go on television and beg me to call him to ask for troops. I find it strange, as Chicago doesn't want troops. I also have experience asking him for assistance – just to have the rug pulled up from underneath me when execution meets reality.

“This is fine” dog was truly ahead of his time

I just had a houseguest for 2 weeks and didn't snap at them once. Everyone applaud.

Never believe reports he’s dead, til a chick in a sparkly pink dress descends in a bubble and a bunch of short people start singing!

this has to be the first time jd vance and i have prayed for the same thing

I kind of hate playing pretend with my kids but listening to my kids play pretend without me, I could listen to them all day.

What we think serial killers look like vs what they actually look like:

Goodness, if the President has a serious health problem I certainly hope he follows the expert medical advice of his Secretary of Health and Human Services

"This isn't what I voted for" Yes it is, hope that helps 💗

I cannot stress just how important it is to let people have their early Halloween decorations and pumpkin spice drinks and be as basic as they wanna be this year without making them feel some type of way about it. Like, for your own safety.

I’m not big on gender roles in relationships, but as long as there’s one person who usually drives and one person who usually says “oh that’s a cute house” every two minutes then everything is as it should be

Public health is one of those things that most people don’t notice when it’s working but they sure will when it’s gone.

I don’t see him anywhere in the picture though.

Today is a day where it's proving really difficult to push past the impulse to shut down from the feeling that the whole world is coming apart at the seams

i would like to go back to being anxious about irrational, or at least highly improbable, things