I would get behind any politician who makes taxing churches a cornerstone of their campaign.

As a child I never stopped to consider that adulthood is just neverending chores.

Real “The axe forgets but the tree remembers” hours lately.

Who’s got two thumbs and failed both the screenings to donate blood today. Feels good man.

As someone who moved to Manhattan Beach in 1985 at age 10, this is some of the best coverage of the madness I witnessed. open.spotify.com/episode/2pnQ...

Whatever the opposite of 9/11 is, this is it for me

🎶It’s a great DAY to be ALIVE 🎶

I cannot unsee it.

Somebody better take advantage of WidowVeepgate for a couples costume tonight.

I spent most of my life churched and at no time would it have been acceptable to wear tight black leather pants *anywhere* except for maybe Halloween or a school production of Grease.

Few advertising campaigns have been as successful as the one assigning the really big sea bugs to the “luxury foods” category.

We really do not, as a nation, believe the children are the future anymore, eh?

Did that yapper with the gums have parents or siblings or anyone? I stg they have never made a peep and they weren’t shown at the wrestlemania memorial.

Wonder if Mike Pemce spit out his milk when he saw that picture.

I have just learned of the existence of Beggar’s Night and I’m pissed the teen was robbed of years of extra joy on account of being born in a terrible place.

Vitamins totally work if you remember to take them like once a month, right?

poor people deserve to eat what they like. they deserve to have basic fucking dignity. they deserve to have adequate housing for their needs. they deserve to live like normal fuckin people, because they are

it is so rad they have gun girl dressing like the old widow mcdaniel and the actual widow kirk is dressed like if fergie was on righteous gemstones

This is NOT the sidehug they taught us in youth group.

JDV is gonna go after that widow like she’s a couch.

Every church in America should have its gymnasium or fellowship hall set up as a food bank right now. They won’t. But they should.

I’d like to opt out of the entire “being an adult” plan.

You should also give your comrades who have lost their benefits money directly. If you don’t know of a family in need, I can direct you.

Do you think the writers took turns with the Lenny Briscoe quips or was it like an honor you got with seniority? What if they actually based all the stories around the quip.

You actually don’t have to listen to a podcaster who was the first boot on a reality show.

Good Times

If you take the last cup of coffee from a communal pot without making more you should be cursed with the runs immediately.

i think i'm always fucking exhausted on mondays because on weekends my spirit remembers a bit what it feels to be real and free and then the week starts again and it has to be crammed back into a shape so unnatural it takes all my energy to make it fit

Tbh I am a little surprised how quickly the KSGOP moved to shut down their entire Young Republicans group. Not on my bingo card at all.

In 2025 when jobs can be hard to come by, going into an interview drenched in perfume or cologne is simply not the move.

This was the best part of the absurdly expensive trip to the pumpkin patch today.

Imagine how spicy the Generals Group Chat is this afternoon.

One of the best short-form comedies ever produced.

If the angry little men want to turn to targets other than schools for awhile, you won’t hear me complaining. Maybe if grown adults are more afraid of being mindlessly slaughtered they will make some changes.

Basically heaven.

Me on the way to a state park in NY

Anytime I’m in Buffalo I am reminded that this is the place heavenly father created for me.

If that tea order was preferred by anyone other than that man, his people would mock it forever.

Do you know how DIFFICULT it is to live in the hometown of a billionaire who actually started with nothing and built his empire off of fucking HAND TRUCKS and he’s not even white?!?

We need the humanities so that our deep state agents understand “voice” and can then fabricate their evidence better.

I guess All the Way to the River is a seasonal release since it describes absolutely monstrous behavior by a ghoulish person.

Just gonna pretend the flags at half mast are for Robert Redford

I think the best thing that could happen next is that when he finally dies, everyone says that JDV was involved.

Toad and the Existential Dread

I am going to New York TOMORROW 🎉

If I were 89 and looking around at this world I’d prolly be ready to go anywhere else.

I’m in Year 4 of a long-distance relationship if you’re ever wondering how I’d do on that marshmallow experiment.

Packing for NY and it’s a bunch of thin black layering garments and a brightass Stevie Johnson jersey.

Hunter Schafer had a side part at the Emmy’s I’m so excited to stop looking like a Manson protégée just to quiet my judgy teen.