Getting yelled at because I dropped 1 (ONE) peanut, pretty sure this was how wee Jesus felt like when they brought out the hammer and nails eh

POWER DRIVE

John Cena retired is it? Best 5 wrestlers of all time: 1. Ultimate Warrior 2. Big Boss Man 3. Rowdy Roddy 4. Hacksaw Jim Duggan 5. Mr Perfect

Imagine thinking immigration is bad

lmao

Imagine if 28 people who went to school with Zack Polanski accused him of racism? Would the gammon media insist that it’s all lies, or it wasn’t meant in a bad way, or we shouldn’t attack him for things he did when he was 17? Nope, they’d destroy him.

Just found out my acceptance speech for winning "hottest person in the world 2011 (?) still exists on youtube. Kelly Brook in the mud

Hearts becoming a tourist team 😭

RUM AND EGGNOG SEASON HAS OFFICIALLY OPENED

Kris Boyd with the funny there

WELL WELL WELL, IS THAT THE HEARTS SIX POINTS CLEAR AT THE TOP AGAIN?

Utterly bizarre that there's a (not small) part of the support that don't rate him. I'd only put Takis ahead of him tbh.

I dunno, singing the Europe song seems kind of small time now. "Here's our song about finishing third". Nah

YET MORE LIQUID FOOTBALL

No saying he's number one, but wee Claudio is in the top two

"Cabal of sex criminals won't investigate sex criminal"

Gowser getting himself a wee red card so he can go to the derby, some boy

Me when it's chips for tea

Big Snakey is going to be hitting the turps extra hard under his wee bridge the night

Oaft that's some amount of medicine County are taking eh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCKING CHOKE ON IT

Uncle Roy's Ross County back to back relegations is it

Jimmytown has lost it's lustre

Time for wee Davie to get back to punting gear I'm afraid

Watching the darts and there's some boy called Luke playing, that's fucking original

Hearts should kick off late every Saturday, it's frankly superior planning to let me get steaming by half time

Oh shut the fuck up about fucking Salah man. OH NO A BILLIONAIRE HELMET ISNAE GETTING A GAME FOR A TEAM OF CUNTS SUPPORTED BY FUCKING WEE FREAKS FROM MALAYSIA. Fuck me

ZEEV BUIUM

It was American Music by Violent Femmes btw www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag0X...

Pressing "My Mix" on youtube and OF COURSE it's Dancing on my Own by Robyn...BUT WHAT'S NEXT

THERE'S A GUN TO MY HEAD ARE YOU GONNA GET IT RIGHT

Oh wow, hadn't blocked that bitter prick fitbatweets guy on here. Rectified!

Silence. Slow guitar starts. Drums. I SMOKE MYSELF INTO A HAZE IN THE AFTERNOON

Colonel: What is that you've got written on your helmet? Joker: "Born to Post", sir. Colonel: You write "Born to Post" on your helmet and you wear a t-shirt that says "Posting is a form of self harm". What's that supposed to be, some kind of sick joke? Joker: No, sir.

Fade into You just started, game over

Was 1993 the year that radicalised me? Manic Street Preachers at their peak. SNP making noise. Joely Richardson in the scud in Lady Chatterley? I've got to say yes

My mum took me to see "In the Name of the Father" when I was 15 (I think) and she walked out cursing the IRA. I did not. 😎

Incredible that Donald Trump and a bunch of tragic old racists from Massachusetts have just turned the Miracle on Ice into a friendly practice game

btw I genuinely had no idea the new Dune FARCE recreated one of Lynch's greatest ever scenes but fair play. Still won't watch it

Me once a month: mind when Idlewild were good before they became the Corries Me once a year: mind when IDLES were good before they became the Tories

Telt us to ram it when he had the chance to play in the US church league btw

btw, I think we all know by know I don't live or die for likes, but ONE? For THIS? Number 23's now eviscerated testicles deserve more. Also I've now watched it 1500 times

Just found out there's a Shakespeare biopic and they've had to change the name of his wife so folk don't think he married Anne Hathaway the actress who was born in 1982

Drinking my cans out of a pint pot today so I'm turning my wrist like a sommelier as each one ends pouring

Finest pub on this damnable planet imo

Important, quite incredible, update:

It's not for me to say this, but I truly believe working til 3.30pm on a Friday makes me braver than the troops