ME: [wandering around, looking for somewhere to have lunch] SUBWAY: You haven't been to us in a while ME: Meh SUBWAY: We have the salted caramel cookies again... ME: FUCK YES CRUSH THOSE SALTY LITTLE BITCHES INTO POWDER AND HAND ME A ROLLED UP TWENTY and whatever the sub of the day is I don't care

There are 4 types of guys online. No exceptions.

Hey, who's up for reaffirming some particularism? You know @mrxdentith.com and I are - all day, every day. Listen to us now as we reaffirm the shit out of it like you wouldn't believe.

My son and his friends watched SCREAM and SCARY MOVIE for Halloween, becoming exposed to the Budweiser "Whassup?" meme in the process. This is beginning to cause problems.

Some headline writer just had their best day ever.

A new episode and I'm barely in it! Great news for all the perverts who hate me but also follow me on Bluesky for reasons that should not be looked into. @mrxdentith.com says plenty, though, which is also great news for perverts.

I think a lot of AI hype is from people who don't know the difference between "impressive" and "actually good". I'm impressed that AI can do this, but it's very, very bad.

I'm just gonna say it: The DuckTales theme, with its dogshit "Duckburg/duck blur" rhyme, can't hold a candle to the Darkwing Duck theme, which casually throws out "when there's trouble you/call DW" to no acclaim. Fucking travesty - why is this not the only thing we're talking about?

Hey, it's a new episode! @mrxdentith.com takes another shot at making me understand the NZ-related conspiracy theories in "State Secrets II: Return Fire". As a defence mechanism, by brain throws up references to King Kong, Dick Tracy and Rambo III and it does not help at all.

Stop worrying about Tron. Jared Leto isn't real. He can't hurt you.

My personal Cumberbatch is Microsoft Clipchamp. Chirpchomp; Chimpchump; Crimpclomp; Glorpgump - all mean only the one thing.

I'm really not sure what to make of this. I saw a few bits of newspaper on our lawn that I figured blew in from the street, or fell out of the delivery truck that had just dropped something off. I was about to throw them out when I saw they were FROM DECEMBER 1975. Let's take a look...

Hey, remember websites? Remember personal websites? I still have one at monkeyfluids.me - it's got links to pretty much everything I've ever done on the internet. And now it's been remade as a properly hosted site instead of the jury-rigged Tumblr blog it used to be! Marvel.

The r/badcomicbookcovers/ subreddit has had to ban Rob Liefeld covers. Again. If you know why that's incredibly funny, we can be friends.

Did someone else mention Ed Gein recently, or is @jasonkpargin.bsky.social taking over Wikipedia as well?

I don't keep up with American politics, but from what I understand, this is Portland at the moment?

It's a shorter filter episode this week, looking at a conspiratorial story from the world of professional wrestling. Good thing the wrestling world is always on the level and unambiguously real, or it might have been tricky getting to the bottom of this one.

Pete Davidson just became the only victim of 9/11 to get reparations from the Saudi regime.

Went to the New Plymouth museum last week. Found the exhibit on Your Mum.

Smash two movies together: Animal House of Sand and Fog

Smash two movies together: Demolition Mannequin

Trans rights are human rights, but the bad news is people also hate human rights.

I'm quite proud of the fact that, even after this weekend, I still don't know what a groyper is and I refuse to learn.

Remember: it's only political violence if it comes from the left-wing region of politics; otherwise it's just sparkling murder.

"If time travel is possible, how come nobody went back and killed Hitler?" The answer is obvious: during the chaos of WWI, young Adolph Hitler encounters an eldritch artifact, one that inflicts him with a terrible curse: whoever kills Hitler becomes Hitler.

this is all true but it's also hard to say how much that matters given the fact that this is literally their rhetoric all the time now

Thank you, spam, but I'll be the judge of what I am or am not interested in. ... ... ... I am interested in monkeygoo.com

[ancient egyptian standup comic] see guys from the upper kingdom, they observe funerary rites like THIS. but us guys from the lower kingdom, we observe funerary rites like THIS. See this guy knows what I’m talking about [pointing at man with the head of a bird]

Who's got two working voice boxes and a new podcast episode? It's @mrxdentith.com and me, obviously! Obviously.

Mediocre

No, I said Trump is dead *to me* - sorry for the misunderstanding.

A conversation I have with myself on a near-daily basis: "What's that Chappell Roan song? The one like Hey Man Nice Shot?" "I'm pretty sure Chappell Roan has no songs like Hey Man Nice Shot" "Not the song, the name of the song!" ... ... ... "You mean Good Luck, Babe?" "Yes!"

Nice to know that things haven't changed in the 25 years since I left university.

With @mrxdentith.com having... throat issues... I've put up a quick filler episode to keep you all off our damn backs.

"Valid HTML zip bomb" doesn't scan, but I'm sure Tom Jones could do something with it if he tried.

In this episode, @mrxdentith.com tells me about a book. I'm not certain what the book is about - M doesn't appear that certain either, but that's OK because the book's actual author seems to be the least certain of any of us.

"Josh, the x-rays of your feet are back, and the good news is that you can get some particularly stylish canes these days..." (Osteoarthritis, both big toes.)

Does the left need their own Sauron the Deceiver to craft rings of power as gifts for all free folk – only to, in secret, craft a Master Ring to bind them to his will?

The person chanting "S! Double! U to the V!" on SWV's "Right Here (Human Nature Remix)" is a young Pharrell Williams. I don't know why learning that fact made me very happy but it did.

I saw The Exorcist in a cinema. The first time Regan really goes weird - her throat swelling up like a frog's , shouting obscenities at her doctors - the scene ended and the whole cinema was silent, then from the front of the room one guy waited a perfect beat before shouting "WHAT the FUCK?!"

I've started playing Blue Prince and the most nerve-wracking thing about it is the fear that if I ever fail one of the logic puzzles someone will come and take my degree away.

According to my boy's latest report, he is "able to use a knife with skill and precision" and I'm feeling a strange mixture of pride and concern.

In reference to @mrxdentith.com's comments on the plot vs. gags in The Critic, I have no idea what episode this is from, but Arnie singing the dreidel song will live with me until the day I die.

This episode @mrxdentith.com and I look at the Horizon Post Office scandal, a story that's as frustrating as it is depressing!

I will say that AI search results are excellent at striking the exact tone of a person who's making shit up on the spot. I think we could do a much better job of managing expectations if we forced them to start every output with "OK... shit. Right, um, well you see..."

Saw the new Jurassic World film last night. I'm pretty sure its title is not actually "The New Jurassic World Film" but the real name genuinely failed to register with me and that probably tells you all you need to know about the film.

And that's that - with March and April of 2008 dragged into the 2020s, Monkey Fluids is now bereft of broken image links and actually legible on modern monitor resolutions. So that's nice. #webcomic #comic #monkeyfluids #remastered #so_old #curseyoupassageoftime

February 2008 contained nothing but the finest old-time racism, a borderline pornographic picture of beef suet and me calling Rick Astley a cunt.

A deep shudder runs through the earth, as though a great bell were struck on the other side of the world. As the reverberations bring a chill to the souls of all who perceive them, we let out a collective gasp at what it portends: @mrxdentith.com has aged once again.

Why not take a break from the bleak reality of daily life and listen to @mrxdentith.com and me talking about Northern Ireland during the Troubles? It's a completely different kind of bleak reality altogether!