Never seen a moment of Jackass Going to Theaters today

this affirms to myself that even as much of a "celtics fan" as i am, i value chaos in entertainment more this is the funniest and therefore best way this could have ended up going

i love reddit

The first Red Sox game I sat and watched this year was sillllllly

As someone very interested in the Celtics I am constantly refreshing tonight to see where JB ends up As someone who pays no attention to college basketball, all of these draftees’ names seem fake as fuck

accidentally fell into the geese mosh pit

I don’t really care about the Red Sox specifically right now but I do still have their Apple Sports alerts on and I audibly chuckle every time they go down a run or four before I even process that the game has started

american culture is refrigerator

Hello and welcome to Day 1 of the UFC Freedom 250 Fan Fest: a thing that is happening on the White House Lawn The bread is beer, the beer costs $12. Romans got theirs for free. The circus, as you can see, is everywhere

This is the most online sports day there’s ever been and I will be the most offline I could be and I’m furious

Love the new LCD Soundsystem single.

Cast of Laocoön and his Sons (Roman version of a lost Greek original), 100BC-50AD

Steph is the all-time leader in “shots that make me laugh out loud when they go in” but Brunson is climbing

english isn't for cowards. if you're not saying 'torpify,' that's a skill issue. there's no Académie Française telling you what to do. if you try to type 'pallific' and freak out when you see a little red underline, maybe you're not ready to roll with the big dogs.

Derbel McDillet

@khouston413.bsky.social i tried and failed to explain to Maren why I reflexively said “Scoops Haagen Dazs” during a Knicks game the other day

82-0 needs advanced per-36 analytics, to rework the respin as jersey choice, and most importantly, a stat for Vibes

if I was a horseshoe crab and I understood English I'd be pissed cause how dare you name me after your animal shoe gadget. we been here longer than any shoes

so the toad's last name is toad the rabbit's last name is hare the bird's last name is a football trophy and the fox's last name is mccloud and his fox dad first-names him fox

This is adorable and also works as a very funny illustration of how you can put whatever you want in an EO; that doesn’t mean it’s legally effective or enforceable.

make the rock band 4 freestyle guitar tones selectable and collectible why are you laughing

www.milb.com/video/austin... this might be the funniest thing to ever happen during any sport across time and space i promise you i am not overselling this

realizing that even if this isn’t It, this is actually how we’re going to find out. buncha lil breadcrumbs and maybes until The News finally admits It Happened unless TMZ gets It

clearly the only solution is a slippy slider i’m going to forget the context of this in 4 months and gag

i’m extending this to anyone who only replies to anything with “wait, what?” i have an economy of words and that is not in the budget

I got to explain Glup Shitto to my wife yesterday happy cuatro de mayo

oh well it was fun being there

Might be in the market for a car. Any electric sickos out here? Ioniq 5 got my eye

Maybe I’m a poor city planner but 300 migrant Pokémon feels like a housing crisis

Honestly my only real argument with this is “whatabout” but it is the loudest possible “whatabout” I could ever muster

this is what online sounds like now

I’m like 80% sure the Comcast Business support call I just placed was with a real-sounding AI bot. I know how these calls usually work and sound, and this was not usual. Emphasis in wrong places in ways non-English speakers wouldn’t even stumble into. Glitchy interruptions with no apologies.

must so many things always be happening

bring back john farrell

they say your alignment shifts right as you age, but

I’m not gonna read anything more than the subheadline here and I guess it’s fair to match tone with the subject a bit but using “scored” here feels weirdly informal for Sad News When Leno goes are we gonna say he “procured” his car collection or like, “bagged” it

its nice to have a somewhat benign main character this morning

sorry, i don't care who the money's going to or how obvious you think the onion part of the new logo is, no gotdamn way i'm wearing any kind of infowars hoodie around normies

This is creative redemption for chanting “Beat LA” while playing LA

Everyone’s going to read that Wired piece about Geese with their own biases and come away feeling like they’re the ones who are correct about them and whether they deserve their buzz, but I want to try to have a more nuanced take: lmao buzz this you warbly fuck of course you had to make up fans

The tie is obviously the star but don’t sleep on the intentional brutal discomfort of suit jacket over hoodie That man is moving like an action figure with no more than 3 articulation points

“Can you believe it?” - Castig, about his kid (derogatory)

It’s a perfectly normal story of butterfly effects but it’s much more funny thing to imagine Pierce Brosnan specifically preventing a game from being made, with a gun

reading the (Space Force!) part like Strong Bad

reading 17776 for the first time today and as someone who grew up actually thinking i’d live forever on earth eventually i’m especially furious with myself for waiting until today good football @jonbois.bsky.social

bluesky is definitely crashing at 8pm est tonight how do i get kalshi on the phone

astronauts gonna get a hell of a view of the mushroom cloud tho

i'm so excited to go to washington dc this weekend to see all the history of our wonderful united states of america everything is fine here