Chandler Dean
@chandlerjdean.bsky.social
đ€ 3635
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Surely THIS one will stick
My latest for
@mcsweeneys.net
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4 days ago
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Yo Paul Shaffer was cooking in 2014âŠâŠ
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13 days ago
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Do you think Michael Sorrentino from Jersey Shore ever referred to tanning as âshedding a little light on The Situationâ
17 days ago
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Abolish Everything! takes over the
@nebula.tv
livestream fundraiser for World Central Kitchen at 10 PM ET! Featuring establishment hacks (pictured), forced at last to consider the abolitionistsâ POV. Tune in! Donate! Weâre over halfway to the $20,000 goalâŠ
www.youtube.com/live/MpVYz3h...
20 days ago
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People will say theyâre from Whoville and then you press them and it turns out they live âjust north of Whoville.â Diva just say youâre from Mt. Crumpit!!!
24 days ago
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Abolish the unfounded claim that there are other podcasts about movies!!!
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24 days ago
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If something is 39 minutes away i will always be late. If itâs 54 minutes away i will always be early. Does this make sense
25 days ago
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Need just 10 more straight answers!
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about 1 month ago
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ATTENTION STRAIGHT PEOPLE! I am hosting a game of "Straight Family Feud" at Jonathan van Halem's Top 25 Straightest Moments of All Time at Union Hall this Sunday at 5 PM. I need your help! See replies for a Google Form with a handful of questions that need YOUR straight answers.
about 1 month ago
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about 1 month ago
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How r u named nuzzi and ur a newsy nazi
about 1 month ago
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Who even named the Rizzler. I know that lil meatball did not choose Batman villain wordplay for himself. If the Rizzler named the Rizzler heâd probably be called Rocco Lasagna
about 2 months ago
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I need to make a solo trip to IKEA but Iâm scared to go buy my shelf
about 2 months ago
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Why didnât Frankenstein make the creature like 5â6ââ. Would be a lot easier to deal with
about 2 months ago
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âWhat terminal are you landing at?â Literally why would you think I could ever know. They donât tell us that kind of stuff
about 2 months ago
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We need national standards about what is a normal rate of emoji reacting to Instagram stories. Ladies is he flirting or does he just like pushing colorful buttons
about 2 months ago
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When did you âlock in?â I feel like I started paying attention in ~2007
about 2 months ago
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Nebula now offers free trials which means you can watch Season 1 of Abolish Everything! RIGHT NOW for zero dollars. Abolish your weekend plans!
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2 months ago
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Ur welcome
2 months ago
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reposted by
Chandler Dean
My friends, we have abolished, Andrew Cuomo
7 months ago
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SUCK IT BILL ACKMAN WEâRE MAKINâ MAPS IN THIS MF!!!
2 months ago
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reposted by
Chandler Dean
Patrick Willems
2 months ago
This Thanksgiving gather your whole family around the tv to watch our movie about a guy trying not to puke
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10 tix left!
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2 months ago
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Tix for the Abolish Everything S2 Finale taping go live on
@caveatnyc.bsky.social
âs website at NOON TODAY!
2 months ago
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*Irish Hailey Welch* hawk of the morninâ tuah
3 months ago
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reposted by
Chandler Dean
Matthew Krol
3 months ago
Who could be on that 10pm show? Perhaps if youâre in NYC you should snag a ticket to see whoâs forced to be behind that lectern đ
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Folks! Tix were just made available for the October tapings of Abolish Everything! on
@nebula.tv
and over half of them are already gone. Donât miss the ridiculously stacked lineup of our 7 PM taping OR our very special ABOLISH REDEMPTION taping at 10 PM which will feature some familiar facesâŠ
3 months ago
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reposted by
Chandler Dean
Dave Wiskus
4 months ago
If youâre looking for a video service that DOESNâT allow hate speech and misinformation, come on down to nebula dot tv and tell them Dave sent you
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In my opinion W should be âwouble-youâ
4 months ago
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Every line of this reads like
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4 months ago
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reposted by
Chandler Dean
Christopher Monks
4 months ago
Periodic reminder that we at
@mcsweeneys.net
âs have no writing staff (save for the great
@shadesofgreaves.bsky.social
), and rely on unsolicited submissions for our humor & satire. We respond to each every submission within 7.39 days (but usually much sooner).
www.mcsweeneys.net/pages/guidel...
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Guidelines for McSweeneyâs Internet Tendency Submissions - McSweeneyâs Internet Tendency
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/pages/guidelines-for-web-submissions
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Trumpâs Epstein doodle is a bit of a Rorschach test, if there was a Rorschach test that was just the phrase âI AM A PEDOPHILEâ
4 months ago
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Spinoff of Emily in Paris called âGwen in Rome.â If I had gone to a better college I would know someone who would pay me millions to write this
4 months ago
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Why was 6 gagged at 7? Because 7 8âŠâŠâŠâŠ
4 months ago
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reposted by
Chandler Dean
Nebula
4 months ago
Please be seated for The Dinner Plan.
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As soon as I get back from Japan Iâm gonna be saying stuff like âin Japanese culture, it is seen as VERY disrespectful to be rude to someoneâ
4 months ago
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he clocked her teaâŠâŠâŠ.
4 months ago
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This monthâs run of Abolish tapings starts TOMORROW! Late Thursday show has 4 tix left! Join the radical movement!
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5 months ago
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If youâve been thinking about coming to an Abolish Everything! taping, weâve got FOUR this Thursday and Friday
@caveatnyc.bsky.social
! Early shows are sold out but the late shows still have some tix and the lineups are incredible. Donât miss your chance!
www.caveat.nyc/events/aboli...
5 months ago
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Delta flight attendant just referred to their Wi-Fi as âfast and freeâŠâŠâ
5 months ago
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Considering one of my famous âsubtle bitsâ where I always call the national anthem âAmericaâs theme songâ and see how long it takes for anyone to notice
5 months ago
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reposted by
Chandler Dean
Nebula
5 months ago
are you team big light or team ambient light?
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reposted by
Chandler Dean
Ashpolt
5 months ago
Patrick Willems as an abolitionist and Lily Du as part of the establishment, hell yes let's go
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Thursday 7 PM taping is now sold out but the others still have some tix left!
www.caveat.nyc/events/aboli...
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5 months ago
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reposted by
Chandler Dean
james folta
5 months ago
In last week's Newsletter,
@lukevburns.bsky.social
and I shared funny work by: -
@colincornaby.me
- Bobbie Armstrong &
@madelinegoetz.bsky.social
in
@mcsweeneys.net
- Sarah Gruen &
@chandlerjdean.bsky.social
in
@pointsincase.com
- Dan Caprera in
@weeklyhumorist.bsky.social
And a meet-up on 9/3!
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A Newsletter of Humorous Writing #404
For July 30 - August 5, 2025 Hello and welcome to A Newsletter of Humorous Writing, a roundup of the week's finest short humor pieces and funny articles, and...
https://buttondown.com/humorouswriting/archive/a-newsletter-of-humorous-writing-404/
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Lineups go crazy for the August abolish tapings just FYI
5 months ago
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You can watch
@lukasarnold.bsky.social
abolish the English language RIGHT NOW on YouTube!
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5 months ago
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reposted by
Chandler Dean
Josh Gondelman
6 months ago
Oh! Today is the one month anniversary of Positive Reinforcement premiering on YouTube! I really appreciate everyone who has watched and spread the word! If you've been meaning to check it out...why not give it a watch now?
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Josh Gondelman - Positive Reinforcement [2025] | FULL SPECIAL
YouTube video by Blonde Medicine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAvNlgpdKKo
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Donât throw the baby out with the bathwater, sure. But also: donât throw out the bathwater. Thereâs a drain
6 months ago
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Tonight! 8 tix left for 7 PM, 10 tix left for 10 PM!
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6 months ago
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