twilight anesthesia? why don't you stop being such a baby and just twy heavy anesthesia?

in a cnc intox dynamic with my anesthesiologist and my surgeon

when u thought the wiener would be bigger. call that a phallacy

I’m like a Brony but for Bluey

Life just hasn't been worth living since I ran out of my Cajun spice blend. Call that seasoning depression.

bro idubbbz looks crazy in the new frankenstein movie

guillermo del toro is canonically a monster fucker

it’s actually so fucked up that i have to keep thinking of something new to eat every few hours

i genuinely dont understand how ppl live their lives without a popsocket on their phone like how are ur hands not constantly in pain

I'm autistic, which means I have the power to make anything fun AND the power to take the fun out of anything, depending on how hungry I am

my favorite thing about hyperpop is how transgender it is

starts saying skibidi instead of CBD

why is there only So Much autocorrect and No autocorrect. what about medium amount of autocorrect. they never care about what we want

reframing Baby it’s Cold Outside as an established CNC dynamic

fall is OVER its autistic girl winter

just saw “smol cleanup” as a commit msg. i am surrounded by millennials /neg

i’ve never seen a picture of nikola tesla where he isn’t serving cunt

i hate gay halloween what do you mean you’re slutty jesse pinkman??

every tech company has at least one principal+ engineer who no one likes, has seemingly no boss, has never been right about a single thing, and is only ever referred to by first name

if u sign up to take care of me after surgery be prepared to sit with me while i play fallout for several hours

There's no top shortage, they just can't wear the strap because they all have back pain

why would u ever deliver a package to someone’s garage door unless u intentionally wanted them to run over it

they should invent a being awake that doesn’t make you sleepy

wiener hard or hardly wiener

everything reminds me of him (parks & rec)

t-boy wife t-boy life

i love pittsburgh mayor Ed Gein

every day i am told to "click to learn more". i will never click to learn more

you’ve heard of doggy style get ready for froggy style

nothing more humiliating than buying blatant fetishwear at the Spirit Halloween

just told my sister that instead of calling myself fat i’m gonna start calling myself a size queen

bitbucket updated the green in their UI to be slightly more olive-leaning and it’s making me feel so autistic. i hate change

slushy noobz videos where they actually express opinions and aren’t just silly goofy boy style are kinda giving me the ick now and this is the only reason why i should only be allowed to buy merch from gmm and no other youtubers from now on. slushy noobz is temporary. gmm is forever.

i’m like if a guy was addicted to lounging

vegan pancakes making vegan pancakes :3 take some vegan and i put it in a pancake :3

can somebody please invent willy wonka style candies that satiate ur appetite for 24 hours and also give u all the nutrients u need already. what year is it dafuk

apple had the capacity to pick a less abrasive green for non-iphone texts but nooooo they just had to ragebait us . ..

i need to go to a lazy river soon or i might perish

trying to get ready for bed but u make the classic mistake of listening to ringtone (Remix) [feat. Charli XCX, Rico Nasty, Kero Kero Bonito]

nobody talks about how autism makes u so mysterious

all i know how to do is sleep + engage in hyperfixation

more people should be queer and in love

consummated !

nobody at this wedding knows that i’m secretly having an affair with the groom

gonna be unintentionally waterboarding myself by crying so much at the lorde concert in a month that my mask gets soaked

polycules are annoying what do you mean my wife's boyfriend's boyfriend is getting married this weekend

So glad my airbags are /srs I'd feel so unsafe with a /s airbag, or, god forbid, /hj

there should be more types of ovations

why are clubs never using strobe lights. genuine question. it would be so ethereal

displayport cable worn as a belt