I’m like a Brony but for Bluey

wilkinsburg more like jelkinsburg

the way that my wife rips her chewing gum IN HALF!?? the gum is so small it’s like the idea of gum… it’s like thinking about chewing gum

forcing my wife to listen to FNAF music in the car in anticipation of the FNAF 2 movie next month

Kanye really could have been somebody smh

reframing Baby it’s Cold Outside as an established CNC dynamic

The Etruscan Shrew !

fall is OVER its autistic girl winter

Boop incoming in 3...2...1 #MexicanGrayWolf

gripping hard or hardly gripping

Penis inflatable

Listening to G6 while walking this client… feeling infinite ♾️

not just a jerkmate, a jerkfriend

Jelking my weed so it lasts longer

you’ve heard of doggy style get ready for froggy style

My wife said “What shape is this one? Mexico?”

nothing more humiliating than buying blatant fetishwear at the Spirit Halloween

Thinking about becoming a Belieber

David Attenborough more like Dirty Slutenborough

I hate when they aerate a yard and it looks like the whole yard covered in turds

i’m like if a guy had big naturals and long luscious lashes

the soft animal of my body ate too much candy and now she has a tummy ache

addicted to jalapeño poppers 😔

Highly anticipated PISS ZONE

I wish I could have surgery done to turn me into a leaf

my wife is ragebaiting the dog on our walk

There are 100 people in a room and 99 don’t be believe in my wife but I’m the just one who believes in her

i need to go to a lazy river soon or i might perish

it’s a Ribs by Lorde x thinking about my older sister calling me her first baby kind of day

my mother and I are alike in many ways. she had children so she could receive multiple back rubs a day, and I am using polyamory to meet this same need.

consummated !

she breasted boobily down the aisle

wpreg it’s like mpreg but for women

my wife vs ever being attracted to a cis person /pos

something so gender affirming about wearing jeans and sandals! Like yes I slackline!!?

it’s not clopping to u that i’m standing on hooves

She Mac on my Roni until I creamy cheddar

I am going to pass away this evening from allergies

I need to get some tight bootcut jeans

My wife is drunkenly making a 50 slide presentation on pine cones I love her

Me when I see a dachshund: holy fucking fuck that body of yours is incredible

just got the sluttiest tattoos EVER I’m so stoked 🐾

I love finding grey hairs aging is beautiful Some day I will have all grey hairs like my mom :3

If I was a mermaid I would have an orca tail and nasty orca teeth

I’m doing snake play (eating one giant meal in the middle of the day)

Can’t believe my ball chaining ceremony is less than a month away

I’m something of a slimmelier

the slugs in PA are really something else

I was put on this earth to explain memes to femme lesbians with jobs