When have you last wished for nautical nonsense?

Orange juice should be a stew.

Noir film should come back, if only because Walton Goggins would be perfect as the lead.

Are illegal U-Turns the new meta or something?

Jersey style gas station attendants are the future.

Trans girl learns that everything might in fact not always be entirely it's own fault.

Anyone in any Fandom who utters the word "Canon" should look into how often Tolkien retconned and changed shit, then promptly stop complaining lest they get beaten with a rock.

A bed of spikes would fix my back

Fresh off the block parmesan is great, but there's a time and a place for shake cheese to be the better choice.

Big Condiment is gaslighting us on the pronunciation of Worcestershire.

I don't know what's worse about Walnut Street. The fact that I had to see multiple Mclarens, or the fact that I saw them while being stuck walking behind every bougie tourist who stopped every five seconds.

They should make weighted blankets that are more kiki.

Guys help! It stopped raining and my worm girlfriend is laying out on the sidewalk. I don't know what to do.

If aliens ever came to Earth, I would give them Choccy milk and everything would be OK.

Had a blast at Kennywood today. Gonna age regress about it now.

Lactose intolerance is just a state of mind.

In my past experience, Graham Platner is just a type in every SRA chapter at one point or another.

My unbroken record of phlebotomists complimenting my veins (and nailing it on the first try) continues.

Nothing makes me feel like an open world video game character more than hitting a bus transfer with only a 30 second gap

Brb gotta beat around the bush about getting beat around the bush.

Overton Window but for a body pain scale.

Nothing reminds me more that our bodies are mostly liquid than cracking the hip-femur joint and listening to it gurgle for a couple seconds (it feels great now)

Medically Necessary Nap-Time

I love the efficiency of my 30s. I don't even need to be hit by a car anymore to wake up feeling like I did.

A watched bird never lands

Maybe if I start scooping up roadkill and putting on my deck the Ravens will love me.

EV owners are so fucking weird (complimentary/flirtatious)

Uber driver was a lifelong yinzer dude in his late 60s. Better queer ally than a lot of people I know.

Late aughts, early 2010s sci-fi (syfy) channel TV shows hit in a way that nothing has done no since.

No man ever looks sadder than a hockey goalie sitting on the bench.

Ivan Demidov scoring a demigoal in the Demidov Demidome.

The fun thing about not driving anymore is passing a gas station like once a week or so and realizing how fucked we are.

I need to have rats again

Gender affirming surgery where I get scent glands installed so I can slub like a possum

Buddy the Elf was cooking with the maple syrup in his coffee.

Warped Tour themed Ageplay Party

Free and available Trans-it

Waterfowl counts as seafood when it comes to pescatarian diets, right?

T4Pee

Was told my someone in-person yesterday that they like my posts on here. Guess it's time to stop now that I peaked as a content creator.

Pittonkatonk plot line for The Pitt season 3

Can't wait to see who will be playing the mayonnaise in the Pittonkatonk line-up tomorrow

Toe-Topping

Power Home remodeling is getting better at their shtick. The gay boy they sent to my door almost got me.

Getting gender dysphoria by wanting to dig a hole

Big Running holds too much power over our cities.

Yall they made a sequel to piss.

Age regression any% speedrun

I respect American horse racing because unlike other sports, it's always been super upfront about the fact that it's just about gambling.