Call me a glass of gin with how I keep going tonic

My mayor told me the snow storm keeps breaking his snowplows so I asked how many plows he has and he said he just goes to DPW and gets a new plow afterwards so I said it sounds like he’s just feeding snow plows to the storm and then his community started crying.

They should make dog sweaters for people

Too much Chilly, too little dog

What are the shoulder blades if not the cum gutters of the back?

New laundry meta just dropped

Running away from your problems is slow and inefficient. Biking away from them on the other hand...

Transphobia? In my left wing big tent? It's more likely than you think.

The albatross is an inherently transgender bird.

The endless struggle: Friends are cute and fun, but bed is soft is warm.

Turns out you can spend a whole day being simultaneously over and under stimulated.

Might try tricking myself into having a seizure kink (is that even a thing?) as a coping mechanism.

truly it is appalling that republicans would seek to enact bigotry through budget riders. how dare they. we must not let anti-trans policy distract us from the REAL issues facing the american people. i stand with sarah and her cis constituents.

(a)(g)e(p)lay

Hot femme wife X Fucked up creature wife

Need a haircut that says "please excuse me from Jury Duty immediately your honor"

Being a fem boy would suit me so well if it weren't for the fact that there's so much baggage on that word.

Ketabean

Did anyone try just eating the one ring?

Toes are a privilege not a right.

Bunk beds but for adults needs to be more common

Theater kid (derogatory)

"Go Birds" is allowed to be applied to any bird themed sports team, with the exception of the Ravens.

Anyone wanna get banned from a local casino with me?

The world has too many kinds of tape. There's really only 4 that matter.

Switching my stance to being anti-masking (the autistic kind)

Parallel play based date where I drink a bunch of coffee while going through the daily NYT games while the other person does whatever they want (possibly also playing the NYT games)

I think the concept of going to clubs and similar stuff is so weird to me because like, there's this undefinable felling that for some reason I'm required to dress in a more femme presenting way than I'm used to in daily life. It overstimulates me before I can even set foot into the venue.

There are no gods south of the Fort Pitt Tunnel

Time travel movie where a group of transexuals go back in time to kidnap their pre-transition selves and make them fight each other to the death in a ring.

And She said unto them, “Follow Me, and I will make you Pissers of men."

I love hearing a single bacic chord progression and, without knowing the song be like, "yep. That is unquestionably The Ink Spots"

The fallout universe definitely has ghoul fetishists, and I'd be one of them.

Italians gotta be expert gooners from all that practice grating mounds of parmesan by hand

Can't even wish people happy solstice any more in 2025 smh

My sleep paralysis demon is back and somehow even more fuckable

Self-undiagnosed

Alec Baldwin has no right being so hot in Beetlejuice

Are they?... You know... *jingles carabiner*

Aesthetically dysfunctional

Have ya'll tried this "leaving your house" shit? Turns out it works wonders.

Candy flipping but with hormones

Cyclically asexual, but in the same way as a cicada is.

Spotify wrapped but for how many times I peed myself this year.

I did it. I won. I watched all the video essays. Am I free now.

The problem with bullying theory nerds is that they're probably into it.

Boob sag is honestly great. Gimme a pair that's actually been lived in.

Most problematic thing about Minnesota is that they're hoarding all the skyways from the rest of us.

Gay-Baby conversion therapy. It could happen to you.