I didn’t correct a single person calling me Jacob all week

Got a souvenir mug tho

If you were on man city from 2010-2016 you are my dawg for life. KDB!!!

I think it should be @edsbs.bsky.social

Who is going to write the academic paper that the rust belt puts out so many football coaches because of the increased amount of industrialization and lead in the air during the period they grew up in

Unlike the English, I am coming home today

I love Chattanooga at night

Bad news: still here Good news: it was pretty much the best case scenario, when there were more bad scenarios than good

You know I had to do it and it’s….. instant coffee, moron that was just under anesthesia

What could possibly be in these unmarked paper cups in the hospital

What’s the best iPhone game, this bastard doctor won’t let me go home and get my shit

It’s called elevated horror, T. It’s when the dracula is actually that your family sucks.

Tearing up at videos my dosgitter sends and I haven’t seen the hound 48 hours

Doctors hate me because I assume everything happening to my body is normal or I’ve never thought about it once

So bored I did the NYT crossword and only cheated a lot

They gotta do something about the beeping in hospitals, way too much beeping for my liking

Playing badminton with Mitch McConnell. We talked about the midterms and Iran. I took the first game 15-0 because he is unresponsive and lying on the ground.

Watching PKs in my hospital room with 2 maintenance guys snaking the sink lmao

Aaaaaaand I have to stay over night

If someone were to hypothetically throw up blood would that be an ER or urgent care situation

60 days until the dawgs play…?

Group chat reactions to the 3rd Belgian goal are glowing

What in the fuck

It was nice to be happy for 32 seconds

👎🏻

Time for a Kentucky mule and roughly 2 hours of panic attack

Ronald-OhNo

Saying publicly you’re boycotting a soccer game makes you sound like a boomer in 2010, sorry

I think a porch pirate stole my Amazon package that consisted of boxer briefs and socks

More players should embrace kicking the ball as powerfully and directly to the goalkeeper as possible, and daring them not to die

There’s a video of Haaland scoring 9 goals in one game as a 19 year old and it’s just my screensaver now

Saturday in Miami, Norway faces England in their biggest clash since King Harald took on King Harold at the Battle of Stamford Bridge in 1066.

NONE OF THIS STUTTER STEP NONSENSE

I was in London for 4th of July and went to a home run derby in Hyde park, it ruled

My Norwegian orc son made me so proud today

We’re so back

This fair seems like the spiritual inverse of the NYC ball drop. No resources, brutal weather, insane people everywhere, etc

God damn I can hear a LOT of fireworks

This is why America is great. Hating da Mets. Hate da Mets.

I bet my Secret Service buddy is having an absolute dog shit day

Go Braves

👎🏻

This is the best of who we are and what we represent. www.nytimes.com/interactive/...

UNCONFIRMED: the nuclear strike on the alien spaceship over Houston, Texas was a success!

to sum up

I’m incredibly sorry but I’m crying laughing

I think about a random 2 Chainz line from my youth probably once a week