Fifa gave me an award for most cars owned by one man

You mean to tell me this entire Siberian orchestra is trans?

I'm a bit face blind so those videos where the creator argues with themselves really works well for me.

Crazy to see what Bam Margera looks like these days.

In moving stuff around my garage i put a bunch of stuff on the workbench and a good portion of my tools are underneath somewhere.

The Girl Guides of Canada say: Be prepared to protect trans rights.

If you need last minute gift ideas for me. 10mm sockets. Every size.

So much room for activities

Here's my spotify wrapped:

Checked out an IRC server last night. One of the channels was named #elonmusk. I was curious what they talk about so i joined. turns out they don't talk and one of their operators has a vanity url that i wish surprised me.

I spilled gasoline on my shoe :(

dewalt, milwaukee and makita are just starter pokemon for cis men

In Canada we'd just throw you int he drunk tank and let you go the next day for this..

Remember when we found out about a bunch of offshore accounts and there was a lot of consequences for that?

"where do you see yourself in 5 years"

Looking through the auction and i found this for sale. I was so fucking disappointed in VW for rebranding a dodge caravan and selling it. Why the fuck did you do that?

This is actually quite brilliant, up to and including the final sentence 🔥

This timeline is something.

Canada is 66% banana

Pinched my hand while working on the garage and now it looks like this face: :/

I've done mushrooms several times and I feel strongly that doing them around Mr Beast would be an extremely bad time

Installing windows as it's the most effective way to blow out all linux partitions before distro hopping.

My wife left the cat treats out by accident. I was going to say i trust the cats as far as i could throw them but i think i could throw them pretty far

Incorrect he is already a pasta based on these ingredients and should be put into one of these:

Nice to move onto the Christmas season where being a fat man who likes toys is acceptable for society again.

Humphrey didn't kill himself

At the zoo today some kid goes up to one of the staff "Why did you kidnap all these animals?"

Fast and furious movie: F9

It's so strange that my thermostat understands daylight savings time but my firecube does not.

I kissed your AI girlfriend

Eminem is a Grandpa and i was not mentally prepared for this information

#comics #comic

I accidentally broke a really nice dish but my wife can't be angry cause she broke my car. Perfectly balanced

Why do we use carpet in cars? it can get full of water and start to mold. We should really be using hardwood flooring instead.

Sit down, relax and spaghet about it

Okay wasn't expecting xkcd to make me cry today.

Damn man, you really showed us. Where are Canadians supposed to go to visit a beautiful national park now?

Just a heads up for Canadian drivers you should put your winter tires on a month ago. Seems like a few people were caught offguard.

The day after you move a bunch of furniture around the house and you're over 40.

More republicans believe in bigfoot than Democrats but more democrats believe in Aliens than republicans. Why are both sides wasting their time when Chupacabra is real as fuck?

I find it difficult to watch the Muppets. Kermit is a domestic abuse victim and everyone is cool with it?!

In conversations some people have mentioned "all the tools you have in your garage must be worth a lot." Yes. But i have zero idea how much it would be. 20+ years of needing a tool here and specialized tool there must add up but i have no clue as to the amount.

Look what you all made me do..

I can use my 3d printer to print a 3d printer. Infinite money glitch.

Nobody appreciates the arts anymore

Finished the valve cover and spark plug replacement on my a6. It needs a timing belt so that's going to be a big job with service position. First. I'm rearranging my entire garage because of reasons. Help me.

First. Mashed potatoes. Potatoes only taste good when you deep fry them or cover them in another ingredient. Second: Turkey - People are terrible at cooking it and it's always dry. You have to spatchcock it to make a decent tasting bird. Third: Green bean casserole. I will not elaborate.

Covid really broke some people’s brains. Shocking (and so very sad) that the vaccine story coming out of Covid is one of hesitancy and anger rather than amazement and gratitude for what is now increasingly possible.