How come my sense of humour has remained exactly the same

A cute tradition in my family is that even though his name is Greg, I call him “dad” instead. Guess we’re a bit quirky like that!

When you’ve bloody had it up to here with the weather

The fact that the BBC has made serious culpable errors does not negate the point that there is a real and concerted right-wing media campaign to destroy it. Both points can be true at the same time and the campaign would not end even if the errors did.

I used to hide my teeth so the tooth fairy couldn’t steal them and once the ants found my secret tooth box and my mum got so mad

back in my day we just called them "chefs"

downloading and sending tiktoks to my offline boyfriend, like a prince searching for rare blossoms to gift his lady

All these gender critical “feminists” shilling for rightwing papers who would take away women’s rights in an *instant* and never admitting the contradiction. If your feminism requires you to be on the same side as Trump, Vance, Putin, Farage, the Mail, the Telegraph, then mayyyyyyyybbbbbeeee….

I thought the first season of Nobody Wants This was a really fun, spiky rom-com, but yikes this second season is BAD

I genuinely couldn’t tell you what The Witcher is about or why everyone is doing the things they do, but every episode they have wizards throwing fireballs at each other and I am sated

I’m so glad I wasn’t asked to review Alls Fair because knowing me, I would have given it 5 stars

Spoiler: not looking good

The Iraq war propaganda and weird troop worship in this show is always so startling

It’s kind of weird that in the US government system the mayor of New York outranks the president, but they have all sorts of weird shit over there, like opossums and Quentin Tarantino

Judge: what evidence does the prosecutors put forward to prove that the defendant is guilty? Lawyer: things that were… things that are… and some things…that have not yet come to pass.

I work at the vote counting office in New York on 51st and 4th and I’ve been throwing maga votes into the sewers

What did the Australian guy answer when he was asked why his butthole was so clean? Bidet mate

Dubai chocolate? Well yeah, I didn’t get it for free

I am too good looking to be respected as a journalist 😔

When I put a TikTok video into the group chat, I am a small nervous rodent leaving berries in the den of my squirrel family. I am a big crow leaving bottle caps and coins for the old lady who gives me seeds. I am ancient holy men sacrificing a goat to appease my deity. Give me laugh react

Sometimes I’m scratching my dog behind the ears I feel so close to monkeys, I get their whole deal

Seeing TikTokers complain that the 4corners piece didn’t focus on pushing for a ban on men working in childcare… yeah maybe it’s because that is not reform that any actual experts in the field are pushing for and it only serves as a distraction from the reform experts ask for?

Who knew witnessing a murder could make you laugh

Sufjan Stevens in 2005:

I’m refusing to put a jumper on even though it’s quite cold in melbourne right now, and I’ve realised I’m trying to out-stubborn **the seasons** themselves

I want to be a trad wife (one of Dracula’s three vampire brides who live in a pit and wear fabulous gowns)

Put out your tiaras, they caught the louvre thiefs :(

Just thought about the kind of bits that improv couples would do if they tried to sincerely do sexy roleplaying and I’m disgusted

Ok now there’s ghosts. I don’t like this show going woo woo

The fate of Amelia Bedelia

Hello

“I’ve stopped killing old people and hoarding their bones”

Common Chappell Roan W

im working on an article about a jazz festival, and i think they should have an event where everyone can go and admire each other's weird hats

I’m often told to support ALP policy because “something is better than nothing”. And no. Something can actually be worse than nothing. www.abc.net.au/news/2025-10...

i'm getting a haircut today that I think might be the queer man equivalent of getting bangs, ie, a cry for help

I do not like what Labor are serving up with environmental law reform, it's shaping up to be a disaster 👇

The heart is the human body’s authenticator app. Sometimes I write jokes and realise they are indistinguishable from lines of sincere poetry

If the louvre robbers happen to be fans of my unique brand of whimsy inspired writing, I promise I won’t tell if you just slip me a lesser jewel. I’ve always wanted some historical jewels to call my own

I used to live in a tiny town in the middle of a national park, and one time me and my teen pals were driving back from Pizza Hut along the dark road and we had been waving at passing cars (teenagers) and one guy in a ute turned around, pulled up besides us, and then pulled out a shotgun

I’d be such a bad wizard, every battle I’d just be pulling out the same tired cantrips because I had insomnia again because the tavern was too loud or the dungeon floor too hard and I can’t get my spell slots back

When your evil brother in law is finally identified as the murder and your unfinished business is now completed

Do you think those louvre thiefs are celebrating by listening to Lorde’s best song, The Louvre? I do

The fact that you’re talking to a divorce lawyer is probably #1

The Foo Fighters should do a live play game of dungeons and dragons. It could be called Critical Grohl

A shark with fake tits :(