🗣️ SUCK A TITTY BY THE OCEAN 🗣️

wow i won a free bottom surgery with the mcdonalds monopoly promotion

build-a-bag workshop

the corner store selling urns

me when i get to see my gf

what if we kissed at the Taylor Pork, Rolled Ham factory?

just realized moving back north means i don’t have to say pork roll anymore, thank fucking god

can’t have beer or bag but i can have this at least

who tryna slam junk (heroin) and then slam out junk (genitalia) together in my storage unit

would you like to blow your brains out? turn the lights out?

✌️

last night in the home that i built is bittersweet without a doubt

pools closed

doctors almost fucked me by not sending all required pre-op tests successfully avoided disaster this morning fr

Need to wake up early for a big day? Try never falling asleep 👍

damn, “i miss my girlfriend syndrome” really got hands on god

tree fiddy (posts)

i’m jealous of your pillows and your sheets. i want to hear the sound of your heartbeat

i hope to start writing poetry again, they’re all gonna be for you

who up thirsting they trap

The first group should be lovingly socially constrained and given incentives to deal with empathy. The second group should be diverted, supported, and taught self-respect. The third group should be engaged with a continuum of force sufficient to make them stop.

cuckfuck dimwit losershitcel

my mom told me today how many people came up to her at the wedding, or called her after to tell her how beautiful i looked or how nice it was to see me as me and talk and laugh with me. my cousins and distant relatives that haven’t seen me since i transitioned told her that im wonderful. i feel it

i am full of love in a world that forgets to say thank you

in fact, i'll say that if you aren't a Bryce fan, you're missing out. She's super cool.

i’m like if dr house wasn’t a doctor, didn’t do opiates, and was a woman

god kneecapping yourself sounds kinda delightful if you hate connective tissue and cartilage

can a cowgirl get a toot?

would you drink the juice of 1200 gushers?

cackling that i just went to update my legal name with my credit card company and tried to do boy voice and the rep miss’d me the entire time 🥴

lox and cream cheese on a bagel with a biiiiiiiig iced coffee will fix me

me to my family: “hey can you come help me pack” my family: “sure!” day of packing: “i’ll pass”

im a highly successful and respected bluesky poster and its my professional opinion that you should kill yourself

sleepy enough to drop my phone on my face but not sleepy enough to end the call cause i miss her so much i cried

the discord leaks earlier in the year will now be called “the trappening”

rage baiting the new yorkers by telling them i’m basically from new york growing up in north jersey

what if i brought main back for a treat

new handle just dropped

honestly the chocolate egg cream arizona should be a crime

posting ✨with intention ✨ to keep the numbers down

i hands down have the worst blister in human existence rn

i bet the 2 for 4 spicy chicken at checkers fucks

making eye contact with the guys walking between traffic at stop lights and just giving them crazy eyes so they turn around

al green could hit

gonna start telling people that “im not allowed to own a gun” similarly to how i say “im not allowed to drive” (i don’t have a license)

just spun out, in the car way not the gay meth way

weekly “i’m so fucking hot reminder” i’m so fucking hot btw

mouse girls are out rat traps are in

i wake up feeling cunty 🙏 thank you curtains bangs