A very good boy in Cancun

The perfect body doesn’t ex—

guy at the bar talking about how much he hates heather gay so loudly for so long he was asked to leave

You can be my fat hairy bald Kate Moss tonight

Itz wash yo monkey Mondays

Sack too heavy to be raptured

warm sake 🤝 spring onion 🤝 quail egg 🤝 masago

So you serve me a margarita. So I drink a margarita.

Have to go to Dallas for work tomorrow and I don’t think I’ve ever been there longer than a layover what do I do? WHAT DO I EAT?

incredible text. wouldnt change a thing.

My christina aguilera grindr notification going off in the chicken shop

lfg october!

I pray a love like this (grandma + her banh mi) finds me

kristi and 🧊 posting overly stylized reels on ig this morning of them blowing up the doors to people's homes in Chicago overnight and arresting families. It is all overwhelming. My heart is hurting for everyone I love in chicago.

My taste in eyewear can go from librarian to atlanta gay so fast. I need to rein it in.

jimmy kimmel should buy a gun

I have agreed to allow the sonic (america's drive-in) app to have access to my location 24/7 even when I'm not using it

In my life I've had two flings go south because of addiction. One was to amphetamines and the other was to Vicki Gunvalson reaction clips from twitter

I need to be around animals today. I need a cat cafe, or a petting zoo, or someone to lend me their dog and it needs to be big enough that I CAN HUG THEM!

gm team

I gave my dad an edible and he’s been remerchandising his k-cup tower for around 30 mins

Bought some surprise hardy mums to plant for my parents while they’re out of town AND this ‘Shrimp Cocktail Only’ mug from @ryeceramics_

Arts and crafts ass egg pan 🙏🍽️

One year ago today in the garden.

Can’t get over how cute. All brands should have mascots.

I was put on this earth to rewatch my instagram stories

This would devastate me to no end if it happened to me 😭

❤️

I miss p-valley. That’s why I’ve been lashing out.

"The Witch" (or "Off to the Sabbat") by William Mortensen from the 1920s.

i just felt our baby kick

watching the mtv vma awards and like… where are the bald artists?

yall can’t take

Free from Covid jail. Went to the antique mall and walked in to see some man buying my dream kitchen set (All enamel style cook and dinnerware). I congratulate him on his purchase but the energy was very this:

Fave CDG perfume. It smells like old YSL + more specifically the Kacey Musgraves slow burn candle

watched a vid titled "Courtney Cox Reacts to Disney World Turkey Leg" on purpose :/

Patience too thin for silksong rn so I have to play this game where I own a tiny bookstore in a small seaside town in Europe! 🤘😤🤘

no one in my life is available to buy me a grocery store donut

POV you're a genius data analyst who has a masters degree and you shared some analytics with me (a person who graduated nightschool and scammed their way into a corporate office) on a public channel in slack:

Szechuan garlic fish sauce pickles

Being able to pick the gender + see what my potential new primary care provider looks like before making an appt is so helpful. I can finally skip out on having the oldest white man on earth for a doctor

Just because it’s Labor Day doesn’t mean you get a break from wash yo monkey Monday 🤨

bangbang

Bout to catch the biggest dang fish you ever did see! Feel it in my BONES

Got my chichis stabbed 🍼🍼🪡

Theres a little kid on master chef jr that says his r’s like w’s and he had to say medium rare like 4 times 😭