let the gourd times roll

the limit does not exist

*springsteen voice* come back home to the dick suckin factory / hiring man says son if it was up to me

30 minute sheet pan dry cleaners. 30 minute sheet pan catching up with friends. 30 minute sheet pan making love to your beautiful wife.

again I say

read poems at trans camp got a giant applause break again

dm me for a perspective shift

while we know it is very important to keep ‘em guessing, one must accept the dire importance of, on certain occasions, lettin ‘em know

are you telling me a crab ran this goon?

Working at a restaurant everyone loves is less like the bear and more like a cartoon like what do you mean I had a line down the block for five hours today and everyone was happy to wait nothing about that makes sense what do you mean I sold $8000 in food today what is this

are you telling me a crab ran this goon?

what do you mean I read three poems yesterday and got two applause breaks

POV: I’m reading you a poem about the rain

my pronouns are she in a butch way and they in a femme way, just to clear things up

preorder this magazine if you like sick art or want to kiss me

my pronouns are she in a butch way and they in a femme way, just to clear things up

If he wanted to, he would (is the president dead or no?)

I'm going to say it: claiming at this point that white transfems have a "Nazi problem" over and above that of white people in general is a conscious attempt to manufacture consent for fascists to subject us to genocide

Hey, the common loon called. Yeah, it was hauntingly beautiful

this is not a fully developed political theory but I think coffee shops that don’t take cash are cops

The restaurant I work at was written about in the new york times but the article neglected to mention how hot our staff is

me, when women

I’m well known for being able to be normal about beautiful femmes and you can take that to the bank

we need to do less "uploading emails" and more "uplifting females." just imho. thank for reading.

If your restaurant struggles because of the higher city minimum wage, perhaps, get good at restaurant instead of complaining like a bitch baby?????

A thing that makes me feel so insane is that politicians are allowed to enact endless increases of violence and control but if you tell them to fuck off into the sun because hell isn’t hot enough, somehow you’re the one who is bad

me

Using AI is so embarrassing. Uh oh I can’t write a da email I must make the computer do it! Grow up you clowns (derogatory) and just be a little stupid

It absolutely fucks even

But they were all of them deceived, for another petard was made

My least popular (and most correct) view is that cars should be automatically limited to the local speed limit. Put the pedal to the floor and you still can't go over 25mph in a residential area. (15 in Manhattan btw)

happy Aquarius full moon to all who celebrate

I pretend to be 22 when it’s funny but I am never more in my fucking 30s than when I am in a green room with a 19 year old

Everybody shut the fuck up Not for any particular reason just shut the fuck up for. A minute

You are being summoned by @raxkingisdead.bsky.social actually

AFI is back just in time for anyone who has not yet already deeply questioned their gender

I learned today that the verb for elk vocalizing is bugling and then I listened to some elk bugles and boy I did not expect it to sound LIKE THAT

for inquiring minds, the woman in question owns three and she is not straight thanks for playing

my brain whenever it rains

I don’t think you heard me I said women

Not being weird about it! Anyone can do it!

Every funny joke I’ve ever heard from a cis person about trans people has come from a place of loving and being in community with trans people. My cis friends can roast me to filth because they understand my life. Haters simply don’t have the stuff

My stupid life has such unnecessary drama like why do I have an actual enemy who might not even know she’s my enemy???

Subway takes man: Alright so what's your take Doctor: I think you should put the lime in the coconut and drink them both down Subway takes man: I gotta agree 100%!!

it is so so so so funny that last year I told someone I had a crush on them and they said they weren’t interested in me like that but they were super flattered because they know I only pull baddies what an incredible reputation I have

the jerk store called. they’re running out of you. isn’t that courteous of them? can’t remember the last time a retailer called me to warn me that their stock was low on some high ticket item like you are at the jerk store

the whiplash of being handed a thirty percent cash tip while getting misgendered

had a bar guest tonight have such a good time that we hugged when she left how did I do that what power do I have