Gonna have to start calling them just Qa from now on because Canada just beat the tar out of them.

TIL Messi is short for Messiah

USMNT should get a player like Messi imo

If his shoulder wasn't like an inch offsides Messi would have 4 goals rn

Allegedly the banned-for-life list from the soon to shutter Parkview Tavern.

I'll believe anything once

Pretty sure that's the face of man with an encyclopedic knowledge of Patrick Crayton's career.

Just had a computer science flashback to learning about CAR and CDR in Scheme. Gross stuff. Lamba? I hardly know 'er

awesome org-wide issue at work today: new customer has the last name null, which fucked up like all of our tables

Wow this is incredible how come more people don't know about this??? 🪶 🐣

Worthless collection. Doesn't even include Foucault's Pendulum or The Name of the Rose. www.polygon.com/ecco-the-dol...

There was a goose on the field at Wrigley, they played on

I know this lady husband name not “dick tips”

Say at job interview 50,000 people following you, get social media job 😃 Tell physcologist 50,000 people l following you, get sent to ASYLUM 🤣🤣 #joke #jokes #humour #cleanhumour #socialcomentary

I don't know if these are actually stars getting somehow reflected into the camera or overlaid into the feed or something, but my god what an image

Somewhere on the other side of Houston tonight a buncha NASA engineers are dumping trash on the table and trying to build a new toilet out of tubes and duct tape and I think that's beautiful

The future is now

gooooooodness me

Sometimes my friends give me the dumbest ideas and it's like taking adderall because I'll totally lock in on the assignment

We expected much more from you, Hitler.

Billionaires seem to understand paying their fair share when it comes to buying elections. Why not social services?

there's so much bad in the world but there's also people who lift up and carry an elderly bat around every day so he can pretend he's flying again, and that's the part of the world I think is worth fighting for

Lipidmaxxing so I can healthmog my doctor

This is Maria, a 6-year-old detained by ICE last year. She began to unravel soon after arriving at a detention center in Texas, wetting the bed after years without accidents, crying through the night and begging to breastfeed again. Most of all, she wanted to be reunited with her cat, Milo. 1/

This kid fucking burned Alexamenos so hard, it's two thousand years later and people are still laughing about it.

Big raisins or tiny Superman?

A video of Alex Pretti reading out the final salute of an unnamed veteran he cared for until the end of his life in the ICU, posted to Facebook by his son.

Corey Booker announcing his legislation to make ICE wear body cameras a week after the entire Republican Party excused an ICE officer murdering somebody by showing the video the officer took with his own cell phone of him murdering them is a testament to how stupid Democrats think all of us are.

Dilbert mpreg update (thanks to @synnviks.bsky.social) - this is both Dilbert mpreg and Dilbert forcefem.

Credit to @vreni.bsky.social

Mamdani: For too long, those fluent in the good grammar of civility have deployed decorum to mask agendas of cruelty

If I were the Kwisatz Haderach it wouldn't have gone down like that.

How do you think they convinced babies to eat before airplanes were invented?

Gen Z Akira Kirosawa be like: SIX SEVEN SAMURAI

My dad always used to call me Meathead when I was a little kid. It used to bother me but I guess you could do a lot worse than being compared to Rob Reiner

I'M CRUNK OFF AMRITA THINKING I MIGHT LIVE FOREVER

Appreciate my Lyft driver pausing the Tiktok video he was watching while I'm in the car

Happy Patch Tuesday to all who observe!

Good news: If you would like to watch Ricky Jay and His 52 Assistants on YouTube I have done a painstaking 4k upscale of this. www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0gW...

RIP Mr. Redford.

Block and mute with impunity. You don't owe anyone space on your timeline.

Ok so it can't spell, but it does have comedic timing

The annoying spam texts destroying the Democratic brand: $678M raised through those spam tactics $282M to one consulting firm: Mothership Strategies. $11M to actual campaigns (1.6%) The party isn’t just treating donors like marks—it’s being fleeced itself yet continues to back Mothership.

If you want a weird but true fact to talk about: Dexter Holland, lead singer of The Offspring, was instrumental in this. His doctorial thesis in molecular biology was sequencing mRNA in HIV. The paper was also heavily cited in creating the COVID-19 vaccine.

They're going to have to start making new people older than me at this rate.