yikes, unfollowing now. huge fan of his pathological hunger for lasagna; didn’t realize he’d kicked odie off the end of the table

imagine believing in life after love

i still can’t believe tia’s gone. there’s so much i wanted to talk to her about

now why do i have the same sun and ascendant as trump

i want to post my cowboy carter outfit but i look like a little kid playing dress up

I FORGOT TO TELL YOU GUYS IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY YESTERDAY

watched gnomeo and juliet the other day and there was a point in the film where i laughed, cried, and threw up all within the span of 15 seconds

the way i behave as a coworker….u would not even believe that i am on social media much less Post

So what we get drunk, so what we smoke weed

i really do not use much social media anymore….i channel all my posting spirit into my friends and my improv….let me know if you wanna talk more (we can text)

gonna start using this again. Why not

thinking about how my pilot nephew (gay and indian) sees all those jokes about how DEI pilots keep the skies and planes safe

feeling the most insane fomo of my life……..i never should’ve canceled these tickets to new orleans omg

can somebody give me a break….please! my beloved aunt passed away and the funeral is on my mother’s death anniversary

it was my cousin’s wife’s mother who is a very sarcastic serbian woman and she defended the fuck out of him! my queen

family member started talking about luigi mangione’s court appearance and everything leading up to it and my dad just sat there and was like “Who is luigi”

now watch me whip….watch me nae nae ;)

removing someone else from a groupchat is such an overreach of power….

did i never post my chicken and waffles here…….

cc tour is on my birthday in my area. going to just pray and manifest a ticket idc!

How do you block someone on substack

sometimes you meet a quirky white woman and you know they have a trader joe’s cheese they don’t play about

painful and unfunny

Sorry for party rocking

?

i’m sorry for being drunk

when someone Hwite says they did improv and comedy in the middle east that means israel right

We haven’t called Gen X for their failings nearly enough. And I’m dead serious.

tv seasons should be 22 episodes long and at least 30% of those should be pure crap

i made a gaffe. Should i kill myself?

once as a 4 year old i went here and i thought that the alien waitstaff were actual aliens and i treated them with so much reverence and respect that i haven’t shown another human since

was funny in improv class today……btw there’s two white boys i can’t tell apart and i can’t tell if they are brothers or if maybe they are copied from the same white boy template

i wish i could smoke with bender futurama

okay i’ll say it. i’d read veep kent/ben fanfic

Really annoying to have to choose between fascist manufacturing engines and this place that feels like 2012 Reddit

Meta quietly updated its hateful conduct policy to allow users to refer to "women as household objects or property" among other offensive language.

missing somfs

it’s marketed towards women and gay ppl too so there’s no cishet men whatsoever #HOPEFULLY

signed up for a sketch comedy writing class. whatever

Smoking that shit that made Richard Kind

brindarmy i have been so sick. SO sick. i had to take a whole week off from work. they gave me a steroid injection in my ass. i have to get a nebulizer

everyone please listen to the part that begins at 8:30 and tell me you wouldn’t dance to it in the 1800s tavern or some other location open.spotify.com/wrapped/shar...

Oh no Luigi popped a guy himself instead of doing it the approved way of passively killing tens of thousands and then passing the buck in a circle-jerk of bureaucratic absolution of responsibility

why did unitedhealthcare call me twice. i have AETNA!!!!!

i have a friend from college who i haven’t had a real convo with in over 6 years but we’ve kept in touch exclusively through holiday/current event copy pastas. i do think when i get married i will invite her to the wedding with a copy pasta

what do you mean my dad was friends with zakir hussain and his dad????