Imagine having him as a top line LW. Sure would be nice.

How is this not Kate McKinnon

I will take solace in the fact that Dallas and Vancouver will never EVER make a trade with each other as long as those two billionaires own their respective teams.

Were @zwal93.bsky.social or @dsurach.bsky.social unavailable?

That might be a problem for the rest of the league if this keeps up.

Does Jason Robertson score goals for all cats? 😸

I recognize one Dirk and this is not him.

While I am extremely happy about point 1, I am personally hoping this is the second best thing that happens today.

I’m gonna be so mad at Jimothy.

“Daddy, this is going to be so safe. You’re probably not going to think it is safe, but it is very safe.” Always a good preface.

It probably won’t work, but I’m honestly just trying to save the day for someone who thought they bought bacon.

Mason Marchment is going to get bank in Columbus.

I like my purses to look like croissants.

I’m half tempted to send Bill Guerin a tin of cat food every time Robo scores a goal.

.@Mike Heika: “Was that [goal] for your cat?” Jason Robertson: “Every one is for my cat.”

wow hopefully there's no scenario where a team needs jason robertson to score a goal on jordan binnington in the upcoming month or so

Do the Stars know they already have players who take dumb penalties?

Drinking with toddlers.

We all talk about the 9pm starts, but no one prepares you for the 4pm starts. This is ridiculous.

“I had to pull a bone out his ass covered in shit.” Not quite sure I’ve ever seen someone have a worst way to start their birthday.

I don’t want to speculate, but my first thought was “what was it and how much of it was he on?”

heated rivalry fans getting into hockey not knowing hockey players are evil is good imo bc i can't wait for every team to get 4000 angry calls the first time one of their players says something homophobic on tv

*pokes head in* Let Ritzy cook

I just woke up from a nap and somehow while I was asleep, everyone on the bus has figured out we are not going to the right place

Ah yes, the ole “2-ingredient protein cheesecake” that utilizes one pre-made item followed by four (4) additional items. My absolute favorite recipe genre.

222 Days until TCU vs UNC in Dublin 🍀🐸🐏🍀

Whoopsies

We have a goalie fight! Sergei Bobrovsky skates all the way down to challenge Alex Nedeljkovic (h/t @msmambo.bsky.social)

Significant to note not just because of who the new agent is, but Brisson (former agent) appeared to make the last negotiation pretty intense given his desire to get top dollar for all of his clients.

Always a fantastic sign.

Ah well. RIP bears fandom 2026-2026

Thank goodness the Stars did make that dumb trade.

50 points for Nils!

Broke out the jell-o shoes for the youths tonight.

Seems unfair that you only get to use the bouncy slide to get off a plane when things have gone wrong. The bouncy slide should be a treat they give to the best passengers who did the flight correctly.

I yearn for the [post Olympics] day that top LW name changes.

Re: Susan from Accounting, I just found out this exists and I cannot stop laughing.

BREAKING: This dog is named Susan From Accounting

Oh ya, I have four friends turning 40 this month. Forgot that three are this week.

In fairness, they quasi gifted Jamie Benn an Art Ross given some questionable goalie pulling at the end of that game. And then didn’t seem to give a ton of effort on the final goal.

So these 3 minute shifts have lasted 10 minutes.

So Gary Bettman hates the Dallas Stars and Pride Nights. Got it.

Immediately cancelled three more Pride Nights.

Re: Last Reskeet, I completely forgot that we were about to get curling again and I am so fucking excited.

that ambient anxiety about societal collapse is about to get projected onto olympic curling so hard

*big ignoring the President exploring how to end democracy vibes* I hadn't even considered how great weekday hockey is going to be

Officially gone too far by purchasing “Snow Much Fun” matching pajamas for 6 kids for an upcoming trip.

1 of 7 extremely correct people.