I need a law against these jelly bra ads on TikTok, I am seeing too much all the time

sources are saying Roope Hintz

whoever is going to the Stars game tonight, you have one job and that job is to kidnap Mason Marchment

I'm sure this definitely made sense in context watching the game and it wasn't akin to looking in on an alien planet like it feels just reading the box score I am very sure

“does someone in green have an equalizer” let me stop you right there. everyone in green is an idiot

This game is rude.

I got to go on a fun tour of the TV production truck tonight courtesy of @damnitjason.bsky.social's STH perks and they had a package ready of all the times Seguin has failed to score against Anaheim, and This Face was remarkable.

FUCK EM UP, TYLER

We are sitting next to Ducks fans and that means I just saw a grown man stand up and flap his arms like wings.

Wyatt Johnston, the birthday respecter.

I had never considered whether or not Freddie Freeman could do a death drop before, but after seeing this, I think the answer is now yes

Man is absolutely going to put his head in a cryo-chamber one day.

He can have my tendons, they're also 39 years old but probably ok.

lol someone made a horny copypasta for the texas constitutional amendments

we need to bring shame back, not enough "take this to your grave" in society today

This is going to be infinitely less cool than our miraculous day outside at the Cotton Bowl but they'll get my money anyway.

vomit everywhere go 12 team

Team Penske has a chance to do something very funny and I encourage them to do so.

Ryan Blaney is gonna win this race and I'm gonna throw up about it

11 years ago, “technology and stuff” never forget.

If Dave Roberts was a real wife guy he would have used a wife in relief this series

I don't blame any Blue Jays fan who sprinted out of the stadium, but a big salute to those who stuck around to boo Manfred.

@ruhee.ca hugs, my friend

Cannot believe I recognize Miguel Rojas' Van Cleef necklace because I spent a goddamn hour watching Love Luxury TikToks last night.

five minutes for boarding

lmao this game is mean

Shrimp tonight? Shrimp tonight queen?

That guy in the powder blue and long sleeves behind home plate is the most clenched a person has ever been and he's right to be so.

now's probably not the time but is that Strauss logo an ostrich

we're going 19 this time, fuckos

I woke up the dog

Went back for a second helping of buffet shrimp salad.

they really tricked us into watching guys named Ernie and Emmet

It is never not funny to see a player on the Fox postgame cutting up with David Ortiz while two aliens sit by in silence observing human habits.

that's how you get a statue made

As the years go by, I've had to seriously consider that the Cubs win Did Something Nefarious In A Universal Sense, so very curious to see where a Blue Jays win could take us!

couple questions about the baseball game as it stands: how? why?

Baseball is about eating snacks or being far too nervous to eat snacks

I'm getting ads for If I Had Legs I'd Kick You in my Instagram feed and I already did my horribly anxious time in the theater with it, do not bring that "MOMMY?" call into my home. Do not!

Nice goal from Michael Ryder.

I need the Stars to be cool and hold off on Seguin's 1000th game ceremony til 11/6 on the grounds of That's The Game I'm Going To

I am currently learning that Treehouse of Horror XXII (airdate 10/30/11) contains "The Diving Bell and the Butterball" where Homer gets bitten by a spider and farts a novel, then gets re-bitten and turns into Spiderman who farts webs. If I had a therapist, I'd be talking about this pain.

there's always money in the banana stand but it's room for Finnish guys in the Dallas Stars organization

I can't believe he would target so many baseball writers in such a specific way

It's so funny to hear this broadcast start off normal and professionally when we spent last night listening to them ogle a fruit platter.

It is 67° and Thomas Harley has a contract extension, what more could one want.

Happy birthday Cow Tools! Here’s Gary Larson explaining how it made him “want to crawl into a hole somewhere and die”

Imagine being tasked with translating Tom Verducci's bullshit after being trapped in the park for 17 hours.

Stay tuned for the pregame for Game 4.