Fritolaysia Cuts Off Chiplomatic Relations With Snakistan. “Relations between the two countries grew stale in 1994, when Fritolaysian rufflelutionaries crossed zestablished borders and forced Snakistan to dispatch cheesekeeping forces.” [theonion.com]

Reviewing The Onion's website: Nov. 30-Dec. 6, 2005. A free recipe from President Bush! A MacGuffin joke! Plus, Jennifer Garner, Annika Sorenstam, John Daly, Michael Irvin and more. onion20.substack.com/p/reviewing-... #theonion #satire

presented without comment

Looking to buy one of @TheOnion.com's old books? Want to read the 2 very good histories of The Onion that published in 2025? I’ve collected the best of the bunch here. onion20.substack.com/p/how-to-buy...

I revisit The Onion's past each week in two newsletters covering the print and web-only archives. Please support my work by subscribing at onion20.substack.com or at ko-fi: ko-fi.com/jamesdasilva. Thank you!

21 years ago, The Onion reported on the Bush administration's unlawful detention — of the Thanksgiving turkey 🦃 Plus, John Kerry can't escape the Swift Boaters! open.substack.com/pub/onion20/...

20 years ago in The Onion, Satan wrote a column. Plus, the FCC, Bush's hope-based plan, parking lot attendants, cats and mice, the Xbox 360, "glitter lung" and much more. onion20.substack.com/p/november-2... #theonion #satire

Revisiting The Onion's website: Nov. 16-22, 2005. The Onion remembers WWE wrestler Eddie Guerrero and debates the world's best dictator. Plus, AOL's TV downloads service, injured athletes and more. onion20.substack.com/p/the-onion-... #theonion #satire

Ladies, Gents and all between and beyond. Desert Bus 2025 is now departing for fun, joy, hijinks and a whole lot of hope! Let’s prepare to get silly for a good cause! desertbus.org

20 years ago, an Area Baby had no friends. Plus, beers with President Bush, Delta Airlines cancels flights, Animal Planet's reality show, Navy recruiting commercials, and much more. onion20.substack.com/p/2005-onion... #theonion #satire

Of all the words about Nico Harrison, it's probably as simple as this: "A non-basketball executive who made his way over from a shoe company, Nico never shoulda been hired." www.kdonhoops.com/the-wo/?ref=... (Also, great deep dive into garbage GMs)

Reviewing The Onion's website, Nov. 9-15, 2005. Remembering Tim Duncan's 1st Onion mention, Anderson Cooper, the 2005 NYC Marathon, the Panthers cheerleaders scandal, and more. onion20.substack.com/p/reviewing-... #theonion #satire

His bio reads like he lost custody

20 years ago, The Onion buried Rosa Parks — and civil rights. Plus, jokes about NYT reporter Judith Miller, metal legends, Iraq, Cameron Crowe, and people who love half-baked theories onion20.substack.com/p/november-2... #theonion #satire

Reviewing The Onion's website for Nov. 2-8, 2005. The Onion jokes about Michael Bay, Bush eulogizing Rosa Parks, weather-related gambling, Samuel Alito's nomination and much more onion20.substack.com/p/reviewing-... #theonion #satire

Magic Johnson taking over this post-game show lol. But lovely praise for Freddie Freeman, who is appropriately shy about compliments.

For the 6th year in a row, a player named Will Smith has won the World Series 2020 - Will Smith (C), Dodgers 2021 - Will Smith (RP), Braves 2022 - Will Smith (RP), Astros 2023 - Will Smith (RP), Rangers 2024 - Will Smith (C), Dodgers 2025 - Will Smith (C), Dodgers

Love this psychotic interview with Blake Snell from 2016. About his nickname:

$18 Mocktail Satisfies Craving To Waste Money https://theonion.com/18-mocktail-satisfies-craving-to-waste-money-1851449216/

What a headline

Kings are not a great defensive team, but it's amazing to see Reaves command so much attention that much lesser offensive players are getting wide open.

Austin Reaves. Wild to see him thrive when he has to be a No. 1 option

Ayton is ... something to watch. Obviously skilled, puts up numbers but the experience is always worse than the box score suggests

What an opening week of basketball. Also, lol, that familiar Aaron Gordon-Steph Curry shootout

This is the Aaron Gordon the Magic dreamed about. Good lord

Podz is perenially on my fantasy team, but man he really looks like Jeremy Allen White if his life was going badly

"We freed George Santos, let's do that for C.J. [McCollum]" ~ Charles Barkley

Pleasantly surprised at how unchanged Inside the NBA is

why did NBC suddenly forget how to broadcast without the feed freezing every 5 seconds? Or is it an xfinity problem?

The Wayback Machine’s snapshots of news outlets’ homepages have plummeted in recent months — Nieman Lab reporters @andrewdeck.bsky.social and @hanaatameez.bsky.social found they declined by 87% starting in May of this year. They decided to find out why. buff.ly/rhtRGcr

I think the NBA on NBC show was fine? They can't be TNT but they also went more than 90 seconds without a commercial break, unlike ESPN.

Why does this ring presentation feel like NBA2K? The pan across to robotic Adam Silver, the drone-like can over the arena, the competent but generic PA official? Maybe video games ARE real life now!

20 years ago, The Onion warned of zombie attacks in Pittsburgh! Also, a local woman becomes America's trusted news source, plus Saddam Hussein, Harriet Miers, Pamela Anderson and the Ten Commandments. onion20.substack.com/p/2005-the-o...

20 years ago, The Onion's website featured Jackie Harvey trying to sell used CDs, plus lots of jokes about baseball, new Chancellor Angela Merkel, President Bush, Chicago's love of Mike Ditka and much more. onion20.substack.com/p/reviewing-...

20 years ago in @TheOnion.com, Jim Anchower got a girlfriend! Plus, President Bush seeks a Secretary of the Nation, afterlife drug sentencing, marriage counseling, friends with cancer and much more. Revisit the Oct. 12, 2005, issue with me! onion20.substack.com/p/2005-the-o...

20 years ago, The Onion resurrected Bob Marley to save the frat bros. Plus, @TheOnion.com jokes about Hollywood, obesity, Cosmopolitan, Jimmy Kimmel, Halliburton and the CEO with the best handshake. Revisit the Oct. 5, 2005, print issue of The Onion! onion20.substack.com/p/2005-the-o...

Griffith was found guilty of failure to disperse and fined $50. That's unconstitutional -- even the DOJ recognizes journalists' right to cover how law enforcement disperses protesters. But it also shows what a giant waste of taxpayer funds it is to prosecute journalists for doing their jobs.

Wild as it seems, the only reference by @TheOnion.com to Jane Goodall before 2017 (at least, that's still online) is this 2000 story about the fictional "cable comedy Monkey Honeymoon, starring Carrot Top and Jennifer Tilly." theonion.com/majestic-low...

What did @TheOnion.com publish online 20 years ago? • ESPN programming for women • Dick Cheney's health • Mickey Rooney simply being alive! • President Bush's weekly radio address And much, much more! Take a look at The Onion's website from 2005! onion20.substack.com/p/the-onion-...

The Onion published its 9/11 issue 24 years ago today. onion20.substack.com/p/the-onions...

Did you know @TheOnion.com had a sports section? Well, it didn't, until 20 years ago this week. Let’s dive into 16 individual sports jokes featuring Terrell Owens, Tiger Woods and Alex Rodriguez, Barry Bonds, the BCS playoff system and much more! onion20.substack.com/p/the-onion-...

Fascinating how WNBA brass think a best-of-3 series is the barometer for coaching success. By this "title or bust" standard, Joe Mazzulla should be unemployed, and every World Series winner this century should have fired their manager a year later. www.espn.com/wnba/story/_...

Took this photo a year ago of the final @theonion.com print issue in 2013 and the first print issue in 2024, side by side

The Onion canceled its planned Sept. 12, 2001, issue because of the 9/11 attacks. They returned 2 weeks later with this famous, award-winning issue. Reupping my 2021 look at The Onion’s reaction to 9/11: onion20.substack.com/p/the-onions...

The Onion’s web-only content from 20 years ago included jokes about: • Jim Belushi’s show “According to Jim” (and his book??) • Michael Rapaport’s show “The War at Home” • Scientists mapping the chimp genome • The pending closure of NYC haunt CBGB onion20.substack.com/p/the-onion-...

20 years ago this week, @TheOnion.com launched its new website — and started writing jokes for the internet. It's a new era, and a bad sign for print newspapers! I've recovered the old design, old audio files and even a fake White House website. Enjoy! onion20.substack.com/p/the-onions...

From The Onion (paywall?): “We decided to, in the last few weeks, archive all of our stuff. Eventually we'll probably make a little museum out of it or something like that. But we have 35 years of newspapers outside of this thing that are being archived right now.” www.wired.com/story/uncann...

Here's a few images from this issue

20 years ago, @theonion.com predicted Google's heel turn. Plus, The Onion magazine debuts, jokes about Cindy Sheehan and "Sanford and Son," and much more. Also, a goat writes a column. Check out my review! onion20.substack.com/p/2005-the-o...

Do you know about @clearwing3.bsky.social's book about The Onion? You should! I talked with her about the book's origins, interviewing fellow Onion staffers through the years, and much more! onion20.substack.com/p/interview-... #theonion