What if I opened a bakery on this street and called it Munching

Seeing Carol at the movies call it making the Yuletide gay

What’s wrong babe you’ve barely touched your antifascist toffee

This is the worst timeline

I am about to make incredible matzah ball soup this season

There’s toxic yuri on this episode of the greatest show on television starring Kathy Bates btw

My dad's dog Molly as Molly Parton

Just fell on my ass in front of a patient and my boss

“I left my wife, Nicole Kidman, because I was sick of her, Nicole Kidman, needing me to have sex with her, Nicole Kidman” do you hear yourself man

... I watched Practical Magic again last night and my husband and I spent the entire time going "Nicole Kidman doesn't even seem real she's so beautiful. Like Sandy is gorgeous but she seems REAL, like the most beautiful girl you've ever met but you did meet her. Nicole is a dream you had once."

Subtitles should include inflation calculations for all money amounts so I don't have to always go to inflation calculator.

I need to go to karaoke and belt an E asap

This is my official statement:

I am crying

The subway violinist is playing I can’t help falling in love with you the day after I got dumped over text over bringing sleep earplugs to their house this feels like I’m being pranked

Why are you people talking about anything other than the episode of The Gilded Age that aired tonight

When the seltzer has electrolytes and low sodium>>>>>

Someone tell me not to schedule 2 dates for the same weekend again I am so tired on the subway platform

Thank you fudgie the whale for dying for my sins

Nw: But I’m a Cheerleader

The worst part about baking your own birthday cake is cleaning up after your own birthday cake

🚨🚨NYC mayoral endorsement alert: the ghost of Jeffrey Epstein has endorsed Andrew Cuomo 🚨🚨

Happy birthday 2 me!!

need a dubbed version of aline, a fiction freely inspired by the life of celine dion

Now seated

Went touristing today and why would hersheys do this

Need a Nicole Kidman movie where she lezzes out

Sooo when should I text the girl I went on a date with on Monday (we gave each other our numbers via the app today)

I get to watch 1995 Nicole Kidman order the murder of her husband at the movie theater on Monday ily new york!

I’m like twenty minutes into Nine Perfect Strangers season two and it’s already perfectly insane🙏 I have not a clue what’s going on but Nicole has multiple wigs and Annie Murphy is Christine Baranski’s daughter, no complaints

glasses boi courtesy of @marianaomi.bsky.social

I’m moving to nyc tomorrow holy shit

I love being in so much pain I have to spend the day on the floor ✌️

I finally got the hat that I ordered on st paddy’s day to wear to my wisdom teeth ext appointment lmao

My wisdom tooth swelling has finally gone down enough that I look like myself again omg!!!

If I haven’t said it lately here it is: trans and nonbinary people are a miraculous facet of Gd’s glittering, eternal Creation just like anyone else and if you feel any differently go ahead and fuck right off, don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out

I ate 2 slices of pizza hut :)

I am so excited to be able to eat real food again I want to go to Costco, buy a rotisserie chicken and a slice of pizza, and put the chicken skin on the pizza and eat it in the parking lot

I don’t understand why we still have wisdom teeth. Like evolutionarily

I got my wisdom teeth out on Thursday and I just cried at a focaccia tiktok

My jaw is thinner where my wisdom teeth were omg??

I am so tired but I need to eat now because idk when I’ll be able to eat solid food again :(

I don’t work in dental anymore

Today I saw inside out blow pops and I am so conflicted. as a snacker I’m all in but as a dental assistant I am screaming in agony

The new Nicole Kidman movie set in west Michigan has a 37% on rotten tomatoes prepare to be sick of me!!

I was given a written exit interview at work I feel so seen

I love making my own dinner but I hate eating at 9 pm :(

I love making my own dinner but I hate eating at 9 pm :(

How the fuck did I used to make chicken cutlets in 3” stilettos

Cream cheese garlic knot