Well it looks like I got Left Behind I’d be shocked if I was raptured though, that’d be really confusing

Well it looks like I got Left Behind I’d be shocked if I was raptured though, that’d be really confusing

Rapt turd

I’m not vegan because I like my jokes how I like my sandwiches: cheesy

Can you believe they made a really good cosmo? They did! Go team!

What if jimmy kimmel comes back all maga to keep his show

I’m on a plaaaaaaaaaane (lonely island tribute except I really am)

I love sports now

Tori Amos released ‘To Venus And Back’ in the US 26 years ago on September 21, 1999 album.ink/toriamosTVAB

Why is everyone suddenly talking about that Blondie song on here

Can you believe they made a really good cosmo? They did! Go team!

It’s all been downhill since we lost Alex Trebek

Oh my god one of them just mentioned Clueless It’s a sign

Just got my first “what?” when I ordered a “wooder” out here in California please clap

I’m at a loud sports bar in San Francisco, don’t come join me there’s already too many people here

Keep this in mind before posting

Guy on my plane leaving Philly had a partially covered tattoo, the visible part said “jawn” He’s gonna have to explain that to at least one person wherever he’s going

Only subtle frustration, hmm. I need to be worse.

Just got my first “what?” when I ordered a “wooder” out here in California please clap

Only subtle frustration, hmm. I need to be worse.

@sentimentbot.bsky.social how am I?

In my day they called it turbulence not “rough air”

I have a minor in philosophy & am vaxxed, fuck Kant

Oh my god one of them just mentioned Clueless It’s a sign

Two women at the airport are chatting (I don’t think they know each other) & laughing & they keep looking over at me as if I’m gonna join in Maybe we could go get cosmos after the flight idk

This (probably) won't happen to you. Go get your Covid booster, no matter what you've gotta say 😉

I have a minor in philosophy & am vaxxed, fuck Kant

I’m on a plaaaaaaaaaane (lonely island tribute except I really am)

The look on his face is like, "I know what you're thinking, Dr. Butt performs colonoscopies, I was destined for this job"

gonna start a rumor pass it on

starting a new delivery-only restaurant called Munch House by Proxy

DMs are for slippin & slidin

starting a ska band called Puff Puff Brass

I dated a guy who wrote to stores correcting their grammar re: the “15 items or less” checkout lanes I hope he’s less insufferable now. Or fewer insufferable

OPEN THIS END don't tell me what to do you fucking box

just said "sorry" to myself for getting distracted from what I was doing

I saw a Tide commercial today that was definitely gay or bi curious (2 guys) and it was kinda hot ngl anyway what's the thread topic again

Did you drink enough water today? If not, it's after 10pm so don't drink a bunch now, wait until tomorrow, unless you wanna piss the bed (no judgment)

I wish we had more things to look forward to *checks how many near-Earth objects there are*

I had a few drinks and now I want toast and I think putting bread into a toaster is Too Complicated for me at the moment, also I feel lazy Too Toasted for the Toaster

I went almost the entire summer with zero mosquito bites and in the past ~3 days I've gotten like 10 of them Clearly the full moon earlier this week made them crave that sweet sweet Lithium in my blood

Did you drink enough water today? If not, it's after 10pm so don't drink a bunch now, wait until tomorrow, unless you wanna piss the bed (no judgment)

this old car looks like a roly poly bug

Maybe not biggest own but I witnessed some fancy fuckoff fast car get beaten badly in a runoff at a traffic light by some Subuaru or w/e & I said "damn that guy got owned" & my mostly offline friend asked, "what does that mean? owned?" In the moment I could not define it, & therefore I was owned.

I had a few drinks and now I want toast and I think putting bread into a toaster is Too Complicated for me at the moment, also I feel lazy Too Toasted for the Toaster

feel like shit just want her back (marie callender)

are they done suspending people for spitting basic piss facts on this app, or

I went almost the entire summer with zero mosquito bites and in the past ~3 days I've gotten like 10 of them Clearly the full moon earlier this week made them crave that sweet sweet Lithium in my blood

I have never listened to a podcast