Guggie
@guggiez.bsky.social
📤 128
📥 55
📝 188
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Hardware Store by Weird Al is literally the best song ever written. I will not take any criticism because I am correct.
9 months ago
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Guggie
The Onion
7 days ago
Man Likes Woman So Much He Marries Her
https://theonion.com/man-likes-woman-so-much-he-marries-her-1819569538/
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Cliff ████ocracy
7 days ago
The older I get, the more my politics mature from childish, naïve beliefs like "the world is complicated and leaders have to make hard decisions" to more serious, adult principles like "hurting people is bad and helping people is good."
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The Onion
8 days ago
Mistletoe Held Above Meatball Sub
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Women be Sloppin
about 1 month ago
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Willy Wonka definitely had sex with at least a dozen of the oompa loompas
about 2 months ago
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Crocodiles are Tops and Alligators are Bottoms.
about 2 months ago
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I'd bet any money I owned that Meriwether Lewis was into feet. Just feels like that kinda guy
about 2 months ago
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Changing my dream job to an AI because I want nothing more than to spread misinformation and make bad art 24/7
3 months ago
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BladeoftheSun
3 months ago
The Dutch rip the hell out of Donald Trump and Disney for the ridiculous Jimmy Kimmel firing. This is what you call Free Speech, Trump.
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slate
3 months ago
no you don’t get it. free speech is totally fine as long as it’s talking about killing homeless people
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I wanna sleep on a big ol plate of noodles
3 months ago
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Wario would make a fun pope NGL
3 months ago
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Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
4 months ago
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Guggie
Sam Reich
4 months ago
"hey come on in, you guys are actually the first to arrive"
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Sorry kids, no christmas this year. yea santa was on To Catch a Predator. Yea he's in jail now. Shouldn't've been watching all those kids.
4 months ago
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There are 2 types of fedoras: Fedora for Goon Fedora for Gooner Follow me for more fashion tips
4 months ago
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Airbud but its a legal drama: theres no law that says a dog can't be tried as an Adult
4 months ago
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yea yea sex may be cool but can sex run DOOM?
4 months ago
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Trapazoidiac Killer
4 months ago
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Guggie
raxdflipnote
4 months ago
be nice today. just today. you can be extra evil tomorrow.
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Lonely one headed hydra: Please just cut my head off i just want someone to talk to please can you just do that for me I'm really desperate
4 months ago
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Wallace every 4 seconds
add a skeleton here at some point
4 months ago
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Little known fact that Weird Al retired from music to fulfill his true dream of becoming a cryptid. Just shows up sometimes and does something and then dissappears into The Mist from whence he arrived.
4 months ago
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jeremy kaplowitz
4 months ago
you have my vote, Andrew Cuomo!
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Amish Horse-and-Buggy but instead of a horse its one of the horse girls from the horse girl game
5 months ago
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Guggie
slate
5 months ago
scooby in a haunted volcano:
add a skeleton here at some point
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Guggie
raxdflipnote
5 months ago
just ate a hooker
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Do Greta Thunbergs parents go with her to events and stuff, or did she just get sent out at the age of 12 like a pokemon trainer?
5 months ago
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Since wild animals can't marry, all animals are bastards. Please feel free to call them such, they don't have feelings
5 months ago
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Why are vampires acting so cool all the time? Like, dude, you have 400 weaknesses. You ain't as cool as you think you are.
5 months ago
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When they do a live action remake of the Civil War, I wanna play the part of Rosa Parks
5 months ago
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Too many children, too little time
5 months ago
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you know there's a lot of problems with AI but one is setting unrealistic body standards. I mean I'm never gonna have 7 fingers per hand
6 months ago
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Inside of you there are 2 wolves. One of them is a sex offender.
6 months ago
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mark your colanders!
6 months ago
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Guggie
Lizstar
6 months ago
Happy 4th of Whatever
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I do a magical girl transformation dance that takes like 2 minutes and when its done the only difference is I have a gun and I shoot you without hesitation
6 months ago
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I don't need pockets I just stuff my wallet and keys and phone and stuff into my cheeks like a chipmunk transporting acorns to store for winter.
6 months ago
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Imagine being a doctor who can cure blind people, but you're so ugly that they just want to be blind again. Wouldn't that be fucked up? It would, wouldn't it? I bet it would.
6 months ago
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Guggie
HumBoog
6 months ago
Sharing this here to get the word farther
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Cleveland Brown from Family Guy
6 months ago
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Middle Labia
6 months ago
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Can't believe I cant human traffick. Because woke.
6 months ago
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Politics aside, if everyone started calling trump "daddy," would he be mad or into it?
6 months ago
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Guggie
slate
6 months ago
dad (looking out the window at the apocalypse): really comin down out there
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Gaia ⚖️
6 months ago
add a skeleton here at some point
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Tony Hawk's Amateur Skater
6 months ago
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We need to bring back game shows where if you lose, the floor opens out from under you, swallowing you, and taking you into pitch black darkness never to be seen again.
7 months ago
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On the outside im very happy but in the inside im a skeleton
7 months ago
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