Five Nights at Freddy's 2 clearly got the "more jumpscares!" note. Quite a few of them and the Marionette is a creepier villain than before. Creator Scott Cawthon might be too in love with his own expansive lore and could use a co-screenwriter, but game fans won't mind.

Holy shit Stranger Things did a reference to THE VILLAGE! Why has nobody in my feeds caught this yet?

Movie I loved this year that i don't think anyone else liked at all: THE ELECTRIC STATE

Is somebody going to make a Trump movie one day that Germans online are going to add their own subtitles to?

Chuck's covers bring me such joy. And I normally hate twice-baked potatoes.

Here's an article for my paid subscribers, about a common Christian quote that may not be interpreted correctly by many. lytrules.substack.com/p/what-does-...

Charlie Chaplin pioneered cinema so his granddaughter could play a nine-foot tall alien who fucks.

#AvatarFireAndAsh plays the hits "but bigger!" like a trilogy capper. The newest additions are best, like the biblical allegories and Oona Chaplin as a pyromaniac dominatrix. Horniest Avatar yet, but they'll need to change things up more if this goes two extra movies.

Drop everything! We just got a last minute awards screener of V/H/S/ Halloween! [nobody drops anything]

If, after the successes of Barbie, Wicked, and KPop Demon Hunters, we can't get a cartoon-accurate JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS, what are we even doing?

Does anyone else wish the movie BELEN were an Ellen DeGeneres biopic made by Minions?

just a fun post tagging people for memes lytrules.substack.com/p/sunshine-b...

Rounding up other people's writings that entertain me lytrules.substack.com/p/weekend-ro...

No, I expect them to stay the fuck out if the profession they endangered people in.

Small Business Saturday #SmallBusinessSaturday

SORRY, BABY promises a kitten on the poster, but it really only gets, like, two scenes before growing up

This Black Friday weekend, SUPPORT SMALL BUSINESSES! Namely me. I'm the smallest. Sign up for a FREE subscription to my newsletter, or buy yourself an annual sub, or give the gift of one! Ask any of my current readers if it's worth it or not -- also I could really use the money lytrules.substack.com

Resharing for those who missed my latest batch of reviews lytrules.substack.com/p/quick-take...

The designer of Mouse Trap, Rock'em Sock'em Robots, Lite Brite, and many other toys has passed away. What a legacy of joy! www.nytimes.com/2025/11/21/a...

More catch-up reviews: The Life of Chuck, A Magnificent Life, Train Dreams, and It Was Just an Accident. Loved two, disliked the others, Guess which? lytrules.substack.com/p/quick-take...

Louis CK's old joke about being so rich he'd open a store called The FuckShitPissStore and sell pencils for a million dollars apiece is no longer much of an exaggeration.

i’m not sure how but this is real antipolygraph.org/blog/2025/10...

What kinds of stories do you get when you pay for an annual subscription to my Substack? Let's peek behind the paywall: lytrules.substack.com/p/the-10-bes...

It's the one-year anniversary of my Substack, and I'm celebrating with a giveaway! Plus a countdown of my ten most popular non-paywalled stories of the last year. lytrules.substack.com/p/happy-anni...

I probably shouln;t be happy to give a well-regarded film a negative review, but given how much I like, even narrowly, I';s a relief to see stuff that just doesn't work/

So I guess Pennywise is Trump now too? A redheaded maniac preying on fear and just eating everything in sight while the US govt. mistakenly think they can control and weaponize him?

Anyway, How's Your Sex Life, Charlie Brown

Question @chrissheltonmsc.bsky.social - I once heard this guy was so annoying that scientology actually kicked him out. Is that true?

My belated reviews of Christy, Blue Moon, and If I Had Legs I'd Kick You. lytrules.substack.com/p/quick-take...

"Push th'little daisies and make 'em come up Push th'little daisies and make 'em come up Push th'little daisies and make 'em come up Push th'little daisies and make 'em come up PUSH TH'LITTLE DAISIES AND MAKE 'EM COME UP PUSH TH'LITTLE DAISIES AND MAKE 'EM COME UP PUSH TH'LITTLE DAISIES..."

Was just watching a roundtable TV program where comedians were complaining that their peers can't do ethnic or racial or minority-based humor any more because it offends too many of the young audiences. The show was from 1955. The comedians are Buster Keaton and Bert Lahr.

If you use GMail, AI (Gemini) was turned on yesterday by default and now scans all of your content for machine learning. To turn off, go to Settings>General and scroll down. Uncheck the box for "Smart features." There's other "Smart" add-ons as well, but that's the one that reads your content.

I believe they prefer to be called Americans

Oh lordy, I just thought of the stupidest thing ever. If Netflix buys Warner Bros., well, remember who has a deal with Netflix? Yup...Zack Snyder. I think we just found the "Yay, X-Men can be in the MCU now!" of all of this.

Because Walgreens pharmacy employees need a reason to be even slower and less motivated.

L-"Art"-H The Clown

Black Chewbacca...Wait, I think this is actually the formula for your BOOK OF BOBA FETT name...

If you've ever wondered how film critics debate over email in the run-up to awards, I present...a semi-re-creation. lytrules.substack.com/p/how-film-c...

Wouldn't have guessed Sydney Sweeney would make a better drugged-up fighter biopic than The Rock, but here we are. Also, if Ruby Rose wants to pick a fight, let's see her try to call out Katy O'Brian for doing the movie. Not so easy, I suspect.

Wicked: For Good probably doesn't need any reviews, and it's unlikely any will change anyone's mind. Still, we do them: lytrules.substack.com/p/wicked-rev...

"Christmas? Bah, humbug!" An admirable person said that, right?

Reminder that the reason the Moana remake exists is that Dwayne Johnson was annoyed his daughters didn't recognize that he voiced Maui.

Awards screener for Black Phone 2 received, you'll all be relieved to know.

Hey hey, it's "elevated" horror review day (and yes, I have contempt for that term as well. Frankenstein, Weapons, and Bring Her Back! lytrules.substack.com/p/quick-take...

They'll welcome Marjorie Taylor Greene before they'll welcome, say, Cornel West. That's the problem.

New from me: a review of Muslim horror movie The Vile, and listicles about Little House on the Prairie and Married With Children, which are somehow both shows I know a lot about. lytrules.substack.com/p/lyt-linkag...

Though SNL went hard on politics tonight, any of my filmsnob/critic friends need to be aware that they did an extremely niche parody of the movie Sentimental Value (without naming it) as well. www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQKw...

Somebody photoshop a picture of the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company logo, but it says Bubba Trump Dick Company. I'm not good enough at that kind of thing but it would probably go viral.