We are all prisoners of our own solipsistic narrative. Salman Rushdie

85% off people that die in car accidents ate cereal for breakfast.

Never punch a gift horse in the mouth.

🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Whoa.

Both sides are NOT the same.

I hope people realize how absolutely fucked this situation is. This isn’t normal. People are resigning all over the place because the government is mishandling our data, ruining our public health services, and generally making Americans less safe.

You can’t make an omelet without killing a few innocent people.

Dear media: Tariffs are not “taxes in disguise.” They are taxes. They are taxes on imported goods.

I'm sorry, Oak Ridge Boys. "Fire" does NOT rhyme with "Elvira." Stop it, it's embarrassing.

I saw Hulk Hogan wrestle Andre the Giant in Boston Garden in 1980. God keep Andre the Giant.

At one time, not that long ago, we voluntarily read a book called "Who Moved My Cheese," looking for answers. That should have been a warning.

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the oven. I mean, honestly, what were you doing in the oven?

I think I have carpal diem syndrome. I hurt my wrist trying to seize the day.

What a piece of crap sicko residing in OUR White House 🤬🤬🤬 #ReleaseThe #EpsteinTrumpFiles

1. We interrupt this programming for some LEGITIMATELY GOOD NEWS Violent crime in Baltimore has PLUMMETED to historic lows How did the city do it? Baltimore adopted a comprehensive set of "woke" policies, treating violence as a public health issue

💙💙💙🤬🤬🤬 i’m watching MSNBC right now and they’re showing all the food that should’ve been distributed through USAID is now expiring and going to be destroyed hungry children are dying and were destroying food that could’ve saved them WTF

There aren’t sides right now. There is cancer, and not-cancer. There’s no “both sides” here.

I miss when our Friday evening back porch philosophical conversations were about what was and what wasn’t yacht rock. Not the future of the rule of law

The carton of ice cream says nine servings per container. Ha ha ha ha ha.

I am hoping the neighbors hear my acoustic rendition of Xanadu from my back porch and think I’m ironically hip