Red and yellow knight is a piece of shit

Medieval Times and @drjosie.lgbt is the queen

Ummm maybe let’s not play at this particular park

I’m always saying this

Wake Up Dead Man is good, folks

Happy Thanksgiving from Federal Hill Park in Baltimore (with @drjosie.lgbt)

The best cheap beer

Visiting the bar where Edgar Allen Poe was found dying with @drjosie.lgbt

First Natty Boh. It’s legit.

I contain multitudes Oh Oh shit My multitudes containment system is failing, everyone retreat to a safe distance

in france do they call shower sex an amuse-douche?

I’m told this pie is me

It's always Sasquatch, but never Sask Listen

Daily life at work in the winter with ADHD and mild hypertension: 1. Hands get dry 2. Realize later you should lotion them, so do so 3. Your diuretic immediately informs you that you have to pee 4. Use restroom and wash hands Repeat

Love when it’s grilled cheese and tomato soup weather.

can't wait for the first bitch with non standard pronouns to be canonized so we can all pray to holy she/it

Why do I have to spiral when I realize that someone doesn't like me very much? Why can't I let it go like a normal person? (Don't argue with me about this please, but you can commiserate)

“i like that when i hug you your boobs fit nicely into my armpits”

I did my part

I can’t believe Timothée Chalamet got snubbed for best performance by the Game Awards

And lest we forget, goblin deez nuts 😌

Even Saruman's poopmancy cannot produce its equal

Which orc has the biggest dick?

According to my Letterboxd I have only ever seen Predator Badlands. As such, I’m watching Fellowship of the Ring and I gotta say I’m getting some real Predator Badlands vibes from this

Yes daddy, bind me in your darkness, daddy

Rings for men?!

If you want old man sounds, the wizard duel in Fellowship of the Ring remained undefeated

Frodo putting on the ring and looking Sauron right in the eye and saying “dominate all life, daddy”

We have some new speakers so I am making @drjosie.lgbt listen to the 20 minute long Decemberists masterpiece Joan in the Garden

Rediscovering The Eels has been the best thing to happen to me musically in a long time

Me to @hrm-kristin-i.gay while listing one hit wonders: "Who Let the Dogs Out" K: the Baja Boys, right? Me: excuse me, they are *Men*

baja boys ii baja men

Me to @hrm-kristin-i.gay while listing one hit wonders: "Who Let the Dogs Out" K: the Baja Boys, right? Me: excuse me, they are *Men*

Happy Wednesday, cuties I feel like shit but I’m still kicking

Happy 55th Annual ‘Oregon Blew Up a Whale’ Day, to all who celebrate

10/10 take. No notes.

repeat winning the World Series is bourgeois decadence

Belated, but my first femme Halloween costume came together great! A girl saw me and exclaimed, "wow, you're pretty!" Feels really good <3

New profile pic

Honestly no. It would just be different bullshit that they oppress us with lol

Just wait till you drive through a neighborhood full of fartsdumpers

I am literally a slutt datafag

I just wanted it to be super easy for you to do it 💜💜💜

Also Gus Fring is WAY more relatable

@hrm-kristin-i.gay is working through Breaking Bad with me (it's my first time watching it), and it occurred to me that Walt is such a fucking boomer

This is a gorgeous place ngl

By the time she’s 40 every woman should have a plush of warrior jar Alexander, also known as the Iron Fist. “Just keep clobbering away at the old behind!”

My favorite bug in Silksong is Timothee Chalamet

It’s the best omg! My little girl is going to college!!!!!!!!

If you're expecting to get raptured today can I have your stuff