Why does every brand tell me my order is “winging its way” to me? You just shipped it, it’s not Hermes, calm down.

pretty crazy how blatant the ending of the late show is just an act of government censorship lol

All sports posts are like vague posts to me, especially when they have proper nouns. Logging into social media, seeing the same word a bunch of times in a row, and realizing, “guess gotta find out who, what, or where a Wemby is.”

I would literally carry Grogu inside my body if they’d let me but I will not see that movie; this marketing anomaly should be studied

I blame Substack. The single worst development for the literary world in the last few decades.

I just don’t think it’s fair that the only way to get me to stop watching TikToks in bed is for ME to stop watching TikToks and also get up out of bed? Like we’re putting an awful lot of this problem on me, on my plate.

Running Point is charming and honestly I have enjoyed every one of Mindy Kaling’s shows except Velma which she notably did not write (I thought she had?)

Gotta respect the accidental coherence of: "So many people keep trying to murder me because of my widely reported participation in a sex trafficking ring of global elites, that I INSIST on having a golden, fortified ballroom." Like, yeah, I guess the same person would be into both of those things.

The Trump fake assassination attempts will continue on a regular schedule until his poll numbers rise. Thank you for your attention to this matter!

Gonna get a little drunk and write “wow. kids???” on all the positive reviews of Michael on Letterboxd

What a week.

I watched three TV shows tonight (Margo’s Got Money Troubles, Abbott Elementary, and Your Friends & Neighbors) and all of them had an OnlyFans mention, if not a plot line if not THE plot line.

Something has happened and my Reels feed (which is mostly people being funny on purpose) is more pleasing to me than my TikTok feed (which is mostly strangers obscurely alluding to other strangers’ personal drama, with occasional updates on still other personal drama and tummy ads).

This is incredible, fuck these super rich tourists!!! (Also don't read this unless you're really rich, but if you are, hello, do you need me to take residence in your $5million+ pied-a-terre?)

AOC: Whether it’s people in the Epstein files still roaming free, or the president, a known rapist, continuing to occupy the White House, all of this has contributed to the normalization and the idea that incidents of harassment shouldn’t matter. And I think today was an important turning point

A+ headline. defector.com/president-ex...

god could do something so funny right now

Learning as I watch the last episode of DTF St Louis — a show in the key of The Chair Company that has Jason Bateman as a weatherman in polyamory-tinged bromance — that the creator also wrote the Nic Cage movie The Weather Man and whatttt did a weather man do to this guy

more seriously congrats to the hungarian people for kicking that asshole out

CBS never addresses how much money any other department of the federal government lost last year. So I'll help! The United States, which lost $980 billion in 2025 due to interest payments on the national debt, The U.S. Department of Agriculture, which lost $213.3 billion in 2025, and so on

In his first 100 days, Zohran Mamdani has: -Delivered millions in restitution for workers cheated by gig companies -Cracked down on predatory landlords -Launched the first stage of a universal childcare program -Fixed thousands of potholes in NYC streets This is what leadership looks like.

I don’t know what this means but I do in 2017, we would have seen takes like “actually, with that announcement, Melanie was hinting to us she DID know Epstein, and throwing Trump under the bus because she HATES him” and idk at least we don’t do that anymore

This promo tour for Melania 2: Morelania going so weird

Did…the Trump regime lowkey threaten to kill the pope?

🧵Congress 202-224-3121 Find your Senators www.senate.gov Find your Rep www.house.gov "I'm [NAME] from [PLACE, ZIP]. I'm calling to urge the Senator/Rep to contact Adm. Correll & remind him that he has the same legal obligation as any soldier to refuse an illegal order from this Commander in Chief."

do like middle school history teachers still teach checks and balances what do they even say can we maybe have someone emergency teach them to congress and the supreme court

What is it about dark comedies and weathermen

Jonathan Majors and his co-star accidentally fell through a window while shooting a scene for a Daily Wire action film, leading crew to walk off the set over safety concerns Producers say they “don’t negotiate with communists” deadline.com/2026/04/jona...

Fuck April 1st but also fuck April 2nd, the day when I repeatedly fall for April Fools' posts I just didn't see yesterday. Getting clowned on by leftovers. I hate this month.

christ millennials we have got to let the younger generations break our balls about our dumb bullshit. epic bacon garbage and so forth. did none of you learn the golden rule of ballbreaking: the more you gripe about it the more of it you bring rightly down on yourself

Having a rough week and considering purchasing a giant novelty check to cheer myself up

Come for Liz ripping on Andreessen but stay for the profound observation that if AI is inducing psychosis in regular people through yes-mannery, the very very rich are already fucking cooked. Hard-boiled, in his case.

Showing the Adrien Brody Turbo Tax ad right after the Best Actor award seems unnecessarily rude

MAKE SPY 2 YOU COWARDS

Having actors use presenting the screenwriting awards to plug Marvel is an especially biting “fuck you” to words

A recent Atlantic column claimed society is allegedly "transing" effeminate boys. For my @xtramagazine.com column this month, I wrote a rebuttal using my own experience as a young, closeted trans girl. xtramagazine.com/power/identi...

As millions of Americans were losing their SNAP benefits the Pentagon spent: 🔹️$6.9 million worth of lobster tails🦞 🔹️$15.1 million for ribeye steak 🥩 🔹️$2 million for Alaskan king crab 🦀 🔹️ and even $98,329 on a Steinway & Sons grand piano ✏️ by @newrepublic.com

Hulu has the weirdest “Continue Watching” UX; it’s like “well, you didn’t watch Love Story fast enough so we buried under it three shows that aren’t on now and the 5 minutes worth of an episode of Going Dutch we autoplayed three months ago.”

I just wrote the words "nuts and bolts" in an email and Gemini told me I should say "fundamentals" instead, and I am apoplectic. I'm sorry a pile of nuts and bolts was your MOM but some of us can write our own emails.

What a deeply evil and pathetic time

It’s incredibly frustrating that no corruption, no recklessness, no perversion is enough for the people capable of removing President Trump to remove President Trump.

There are so many reasons to hate prediction markets, but tonight it’s because while playing my dumb little mobile game that I hate, I was served a Kalshi ad that was just like, up close on Trump’s face? Then Vance’s, then Trump’s again? Fuck me for trying to have a little rest?

"American innovation" now refers to making a kind of atrocity cronut by combining insider trading with war crimes.

I don’t know what my point is but the government killed 100 children on the first day of bombings and there are members of Congress still supporting more bombings and that is a grotesque level of inhumanity I cannot reckon with.

Been weighing whether to post the thoughts I had about The Breadwinner trailer on the day we went to war with Iran?

pretty stunning chart

I’m glad that the JFK Jr-CBK Love Story gets the important history right: Mark Wahlberg sucks.

Fact check!!!

"News is a record of things that have happened." On the long list of things I can't believe need to be explained to adults with power these days, NEWS IS A RECORD OF THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED. Kalshi is not the new journalism you mouthbreathing wallet jockey fucks. www.theverge.com/business/881...