The sTaTeS rIgHtS crowd must be very up-in-arms about armed masked unidentified federal police kidnapping people and murdering citizens

I know I have some nutrient deficiency when I suddenly crave braunschweiger and onion on a cold winter day

I saw a movie poster for Animal Farm with Seth Rogen and directed by Andy Serkis, and it looked like a mix of perfect and cornball so I assumed it was fake AI slop. But then I found the movie trailer on YouTube. Then I saw it is being made by Mormon-adjacent Angel Films. I'm so mesmerized by this

You have to block them immediately. The full nuclear. They are only here to make folks angry, and that can’t happen if we lock them out.

my husband put on nirvana and my children instinctively invented moshing from first principles

Trump brings back all sorts of stuff from the good old days. It used to just be long-tamed diseases. Now it's old timey war crimes that you have to look up

the democrats are right we should focus on kitchen table issues. for example there is a guy at my kitchen table who wants to shoot me in the face with a gun

Leaked documents about ICE deployment to Minneapolis suggests they're more worried about the backlash to Renee Good's death than they're letting on: www.kenklippenstein.com/p/immigratio...

Archaeologists: D.C. Capitol May Have Once Been Used For Legislating https://theonion.com/archaeologists-d-c-capitol-may-have-once-been-used-for-legislating/

TimeGuessr made me smile today

Ancient Astronomer: and that group of stars is a large bear, Ursa Major Bystander: OK AA: and both bears, Ursa Minor and Ursa Major, have long bear tails B: what AA: oh, a god threw them

*Back in my day* we required a proper government false flag event, with an elaborately rendered official story slapped over it, in order for us to get panic-herded into an illegal police state escalation. Nowadays they just declare it’s time for fascism without even bothering to do the inside job.

It’s a dark night when you look at the news and are forced to admit that you no longer believe in the power of the FIFA peace prize

I feel like I haven’t even been properly lied to about the purposes of this war

Samsung, hey girl, I have never activated Gemini on purpose. Please stop trying to make it happen

tgif

I have some questions about city names in the Avalon Peninsula of Newfoundland

My son insisted on tipping Santa. I'm sorry I couldn't stop it with my generation #PayElvesALivingWage #WarOnChristmas #SecureOurNorthernBorder #RudolphIsInTheEpsteinFiles

An audience burn from years ago that still makes me smile: Chicago comic asked where people were from and of course everyone rattles off all the big suburbs and then in a very Midwest accent, someone yells "Wausau, Wisconsin!" and the standup asks "what, did you come into town for supplies?!"

Dominick Cobb and his entire Inception team went several dream layers deep and inserted the idea "put your name on stuff" into the mind of Donald Trump

@microsoft.com if I try to save and close a .csv with formatting, please have Clippy pop up and remind me that I want to Save As... .xlsx

Whenever I hear fireworks in the distance, day or night, like the kind when a local pro sports team wins a big game, I immediately check the news for A Specific News Event for which we are all waiting

A guy in my neighborhood has a flagpole that usually flies an American flag above a Trump flag. He took down the Trump flag and replaced it with a Merry Christmas flag featuring a rosy-faced Santa Claus. Sure, replace one elaborate fantasy constructed of layers of lies with another, go ahead.

I called a local bookstore without an online inventory on my telephone and asked questions about a physical book and they knew of the book and several similar books off the top of their head, all of which were in stock. This sentence has been brought to you by the 1900s #ShopLocal

Jfk Jr just dropped a new food pyramid

It's so fucked up to have been a kid during the D&D is the devil freakout and the Tipper Gore dirty lyrics freakout and live to see the teen suicide machine get such a pass.

I guess it's fitting that it's a reimagined, worse version of someone else's artwork

This is your annual reminder that if you are in the US and have FSA funds that you won't use, Menstrual products are covered by FSA funds and can be donated to food pantries and shelters.

2026? Gtfo with your scifi ass years

The amount of time from "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" to "Billie Jean" is the same amount of time from "Billie Jean" to Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars’ “Die With A Smile”

Type "thank driver" into Amazon and give $5

Things I forget about most days: * 9/11 * The Alamo * Dre

One cool part about growing older is that every once in a while your kidney randomly makes a pebble covered in crystalline razors for you to pee out except the pebble is a little bit bigger than your pee hole. So fun, really great time

Does anyone know which side of the keyboard to bang on

My wife has a surprising amount of memorabilia from a 1997 Nicholas Cage action/crime romp

ℕ𝕖𝕖𝕕 𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖 𝕡𝕠𝕥𝕒𝕥𝕠𝕖𝕤

Hearing Eminem bars during a Jack White Packers-Lions halftime show actually made me look up from my phone

Hegseth's DoD drafting a memo to sever ties with the Scouts over girls and gay leaders is peak fragile masculinity. As an Eagle Scout, I welcome our feminine overlords

This qualifies as a @hankgreen.bsky.social win TimeGuessr #904 40,001/50,000 🌎🟩🟩🟨 📅🟩🟩⬛ 🌎🟩⬛️⬛️ 📅🟩⬛⬛ 🌎🟩🟩🟨 📅🟩⬛⬛ 🌎🟩🟩🟩 📅🟩🟩🟩 🌎🟩🟩⬛️ 📅🟩⬛⬛ timeguessr.com

If your dumb ass shows up at Walgreens on the afternoon of Thanksgiving or Christmas to get ginger ale, butter, and wine, the employee who has to deal with your moronic face had better be working 4 hours or less and making triple time or more

Don't feel bad about shoplifting at Walgreen's

Wireless ear bud headphones would be a lot better if they had some wire or similar connecting them making it more difficult to lose one.

I'm not in the job market, but I can give you a hint about something that will make me not open your emails at all

Me a few years ago: "shadow banning isn't real. It just that no one is interested in your posts" Me, now that instagram won't let me reply with animated gifs with no explanation, "META IS CONTROLLED BY A CABAL THAT PRONOUNCES IT JIF!! THE DEEP STATE DOESNT WANT U TO GET MY REFERENCES TO 90S MOVIES"

Why did the Tea Party evaporate when the president wasn't black anymore? Where is QAnon now that a documented pedophile conspirator is sitting in the Oval Office?

Google's search results have been so shitty lately that I unironically searched for something with Bing

Who in this blip of a lifetime, on this fragile earth, in this whisper of a dream of an existence, has ever assumed a continuity in the James Bond franchise

My 2020ish laptop now randomly crashing into BitLocker. This is why old farts start to hate technology, and how I know I am becoming an old fart.

Yet another morning waking up to amazing aurora borealis pics taken south of me when it was cloudy at my house last night

Another fl00d the z0ne topic: if Trvmp will bulldoze the East Wing without asking permission, he will start blasting Mount Rushmore to add his own face without asking permission