No one is acting! Male Refrigerator Blindness is for real 😭

Current mood:

Greenland, where, famously, no one ever needs to stock up on household goods

Hey, was Gavin Newsom created at the same lab as Mitt Romney?

If you've been having trouble getting in touch with your soul . . .

I haven’t been able to compare the serial numbers.

What if the thousands of Iranian protesters killed or injured just weren’t complying with law enforcement orders?

those ancient dames moved about gaily, though in the jaws of the whale

Not enough posts about Liechtenstein on this app

ChatGPT be like, “I won’t sugarcoat it! Here’s the unvarnished truth” and then tell me I’m a god among men 🙄

AHHHH

A reminder to all that today is the 134th anniversary of the birth of J. R. R. Tolkien, and that it is customary to raise a glass of whatever you want at 9 PM local time to toast "The Professor!" www.tolkiensociety.org/society/even...

Zero likes. Note to self: people don’t care if I help elephants

☕️

I’m not psychologically prepared for circle back season rn

F389 Fairies otherwise defeated.

Pretty cool time to point out that most Americans health insurance premiums are about to quintuple because democrats chose to bunt and vote to reopen the government so that this coup could happen on schedule

The same editorial board described Seattle’s mayor raising taxes to pay for childcare as a totalitarian power grab

Soon it will be time for the ritual Demanding of the Answers

Bet FIFA is really embarrassed now.

Secret door from a normal bookshelf that opens into a vast library with one of those roller ladders and a spiral staircase that went to a sitting tower with a domed glass ceiling.

(after losing to a childproof seal) well fought!

4yo: *walks up to electric train, which suddenly starts working* Grandmother: What just happened? Why did it start working? Me: Maybe 4yo has an electromagnetic field! 4yo: No I don’t. I just have a unicorn field

here for it—!

Some Robert Burns for ye.

Me: (reading about ghosts to 6yo) 6yo: *taps me on the shoulder* Me: Yes? 6yo: And, Daddy, if you were going to go like this—*raises invisible sword*—it would just pass through. That’s because it’s /in-cor-por-eal/.

C31.4.2 Tabu: scolding supernatural wife.

So maddening that I have to go to a store and buy what I need. I should be able to just walk outside and pull a toaster oven off a tree.

6yo: Daddy, do you know how to spell “Cat Jail”? C-A-T-J-A-L-L—“cat jail”

If you just ignore physical reality…

Somebody: *commits the perfect crime* Everybody: But the evidence all says otherwise! If Somebody had really done that, it’d be the perfect crime!

when a call for papers shows up in my inbox

In fairness, it was “some straight white millennial cisgender men aged ~30–34 were demonstrably shut out of certain prestigious career tracks at unusually high volume for unsatisfying reasons for a brief but, for them, make-or-break period in the early to mid 2000s.”

man I love Xmas

* #collapse enters the chat*

Only 8 more days to become yourself.

Easily the most British move ever (but here for it, tbrqh)

Easily the most British move ever (but here for it, tbrqh)

☕️

This is a lovely remembrance of an extraordinary person open.substack.com/pub/kevinmle...

9 Hours. 26 minutes. 18 seconds. That's how much daylight we have in DC on this shortest day of the year. Happy Winter Solstice at 10:03 AM! Seasonable w/ some sun, breezy, and highs mid-40s to near 50. Colder Mon, then warmer Tue thru Christmas Day, when a shower is possible. More at cwg.live

Ok, I see why we always lose

as a child I believed that the line "where seldom is heard a discouraging word" in "home on the range" meant that when you were home on the range the word "seldom" was understood to be discouraging

Will I actually bake a cake tonight?

:(