Those who always said that some conspiracy or story couldn't possibly be real because the number of people required to keep it a secret would never work possibly failed to account for the sheer number of people who knew about it and were totally just okay with it and talked about it freely.

I miss him.

Anything short of calling for Schumer to be replaced is performative outrage designed to mollify you

It is GETTING DARK too early. In the past I've been pretty okay with the time change but I guess not this year

Far too many people are still in the "Democrats' hands are tied!" camp re: the Democrats

"flattened" was right there!

You know you don't use an application *nearly* enough when it asks you to download a new version every time you open it

"flattened" was right there!

Awesome! I'm sure that technology will only be used for good purposes and never evil ones.

Seriously thinking of swiping this line for my Bsky bio

AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Aaagh, it‘s all so basic!!!!

Can’t they just eat cake? 🤨

4yo: What happens if you have an eye lost? What happens if you lost an eye, like Wotan? Me: You’d have to wear an eyepatch, and look out only one eye 6yo: And you wouldn’t be able to drive!

4yo (after flipping through a picture book about Thomas the Tank Engine): I was just reading a book. It’s called Tom the Train.

Of all the clerics they could have popped, those ICE idiots had to hit Hot Priest.

i really like that when Sir Walter Raleigh needs a metaphor for the utmost despair, he picks being a historian.

99.9999% sure I am currently at the same taco restaurant as @stevenljohnson.org (but every time I try to say hello either he or I gets pulled away) 👋

*Centrists played into the right’s hands with Gaza protests, joining with conservatives to tar universities as radicalizing, anti-free speech cesspools of antisemitism. That falsehood is now the justification for Trump and Vance’s war on higher education* prospect.org/politics/cen...

But lazily undulating in the trough of the sea, and ever and anon tranquilly spouting his vapory jet, the whale looked like a portly burgher smoking his pipe of a warm afternoon.

hi hello unpaywalled

ok who else is hyped for Good Bunny

☕️

A dystopian funhouse mirror of punditry! Some of its claims: • politcs is about wokeness; • only 1% of people care about healthcare; • an expanded social safety net is no longer possible; & • the president promised to protect “entitlements,” so Democrats have no argument against him on that front.

Got a staycation coming up and thinking about setting a boundary that I may not use bsky until I have written and read for at least an hour each on any given day.

☕️

When I first learned to cook (as a teenager) I loved to make sautéed radishes with melted provolone

📚 Librarians every single morning:

Exquise.

Friend, shun the weedwhacker! Eschew the leafblower! For reel, rake, and whip make a

Friend, shun the weedwhacker! Eschew the leafblower! For reel, rake, and whip make a

I'm still annoyed about having to take off my shoes at the airport in the year of Our Lord two thousand five and twenty

Humans used to do things without documents! Impossible to imagine going back

people like greta thunberg feel as close to modern-day saints as i can think. just someone absolutely committed to the cause of human justice. i feel totally inadequate when faced with that moral clarity

Dinos, the other white meat

Me: Look at all the dinos on this bed! 5yo: It’s not a bed—it’s a grill.

5yo (waking up): “Daddy, did you know that Baby Yoda is never going to be able to defeat me? Because I’m going to sneak up on him with a two-blade lightsaber and hit him in the head! …It’s really not because I like violence. It’s because I want to practice learning how a two-blade lightsaber works.”

seven-year-old: “who’s voice is that” me: “Bob Dylan” 7yo: “is that yr friend” me: “no a singer” 7yo: “not a very good singer”

*seeing the most enragingly stupid posts on here* Am I losing my—oh, it’s the “Discover” tab.

[dudes rock voice] documents rock

ok, so? What did you think he’d have done if he got his way? Genuinely puzzled

The health fund episode of Superstore hits so much harder in 2025. We’re all dying of wellness with no welfare.

It happened to me, my 4yo napped for more than an hour while listening to Gotterdammerung*...by request. __ *4yo: The one where Siegfried dies, and it's so funny??? Me: Well it's definitely not -funny- but okay...!

I’m sorry what

This is the version of the Treaty of Paris that King George III signed, ending the Revolutionary War.

Very excited to see what concessions Democrats will be offering Republicans to keep the government open

Damn Napster should've thought of that

AAHHHHHH

This should be a reaction gif

(unboxing military grade jet pack) zero percent chance i get trapped in a corn maze this year i stg