“Can you explain this gap in your resume?” Me thinking quickly on my feet to explain the period when I worked for ICE: “I was selling drugs… ,uh, to children.”

A middle-aged woman at the airport gate shouts to her husband who is walking away and leaving her with the kids, "Daddy!" 4 men travelling with families and myself all turn around. 💅🏳️‍🌈 Flight attendant walking by looks at me and laughs.

34 Years Ago Today:

Procrastinating is just edging for adhd folx. #procrasturbating

If you're queer and love trains, did you watch Murder, She Wrote when you were younger?

“Criticism is practically treason.” Bill Mauldin, 1969.

I've had a lot of jobs where I was successful despite an ineffective manager. I've had plenty of jobs with good managers, where we were successful together. This is the first job in a while where I feel like the whole team operates as a single successful unit, because we have a GREAT manager.

From my colleague: letting the FCC set itself up as some sort of Ministry of Truth would damage the First Amendment.

The best buddy comedy pair of our time is Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda. They make Bert + Ernie look like buffoons.

💯

This is why they’re deleting studies

For the umpteenth time: Today’s Republican Party does not believe in, and cannot handle, free speech.👇

JD Vance Booed  By Own Reflection  In Mirror https://theonion.com/jd-vance-booed-by-own-reflection-in-mirror/

The right wing is just mad at trans folks because they don't know if they can pay them 20% less like women, or if they have to prorate that.

Just a girl in her dirt hole

At the Amish weed booth anyone need anything

korean reporting is nightmarish on the conditions Korean workers were contained in

Still "_0_ days since it was @nedpyle.com"

The art of the reskeet. by @darthbluesky.bsky.social

You know who was also a young husband and father—not to mention ex-Marine—who died, not attacking others to make himself rich and powerful, but to save the lives of others? David Rose, the officer killed by the anti-vax domestic terrorist who attacked the CDC. apnews.com/article/deka...

Has anyone checked in on Imagine Dragons today?

We need community notes here to clarify that in fact Michelle Wu ended his campaign

America is fucked up man.

Every time I see this guy I think of the @kenwhite.bsky.social quip, "Kash always has an expression on his face like he gambled on a fart and lost"

You know it's not a good thing, because companies prefer to market it as "RTO" instead of "return to office." If it were good or exciting for employees, HR would be saying the whole thing and writing it out. An annual bonus is usually just "annual bonus" because there's no need for marketing spin.

trying to explain dental plan coverage and having to raise my voice higher and higher above their incredulous laughter

Most disturbingly gross hotel room corner chair I've ever seen

the strawberry-wanter has logged on

back to school release of my sql server performance troubleshooting stored procedures: github.com/erikdarlingd...

Friday wisdom: Picture that thing you do when you squirt hand sanitizer into your hand, but have to hold onto it for a couple seconds before you rub it into your hands. 💦💦💦💦💦💦 That's the same thing you do if you have to hold a load in one hand. 💦💦💦💦💦💦 You're welcome.

I already beat another guy who cut Medicaid, gave tax breaks to billionaires, and hounded multiple women who accused him of sexual harassment — might as well debate the one actually calling the shots.

Do posts still go viral? Or did we learn from COVID that it's not good at all to go viral?

I can't stress enough that this is a real video commissioned by the White House. They've got an AI-generated John Adams saying "facts don't care about your feelings" like he's a right-wing troll. gizmodo.com/trumps-new-h...

This font is an existing, albeit custom, font that Staples has been using for years in all their signage and marketing. But I bet Marketing had a million dollar budget for the new logo, so they threw it together in PowerPoint in 30 seconds, and spent all the money on the unveiling.

This is Delta. He just had his first bath. And you just had your last day of peace. 12/10 (IG: camphusky)

I'm pretty sure that the crab was a convicted killer who walked between two walls (I'd probably clarify if that's a hallway or pipe chase), then pushing through razor wire to break out of prison. I think CNN was right.

The Shawshank Crustacean.

Y'all, I think this might be a big misunderstanding. Rudy just got his back blown out by a prostitute from Manchester. Someone just misunderstood the press release.

"Don't tell Mom we were here longer than you. When you got here and when you left." ~me, to Ken's relatives

Every once in a while, I have a moment when I laugh to myself about how much @nedpyle.com must regret introducing me to @lisaroyal.bsky.social

Important that people actually understand what Josh Kraft stands for: Check out joshkraftforboston.org

who would be the funniest journalist to break the news

"hi every buddy! I hope you're having a great weekend. Remember to stay hydrated, and defend democracy!"

is there a german word for 'opposite of conundrum'

funny b/c I don't think anyone who drives one of these has visitation rights

This is the peak Axios AI story. Workers are getting stressed because they’re under pressure to find something useful to do with AI. If they don’t investors will have bought into a bubble. Why do workers hate investors?

The City of Atlanta is opening its first municipal grocery store today. The city is spending $3.5 million in partnership with a neighborhood grocery chain in an effort to eliminate a downtown food desert. www.wsbtv.com/news/local/a...

People love being nostalgic for shit. Unfortunately, I feel like in the modern/social media era, people conflate nostalgia and kvetching. But that's like complaining about Vitamin A Toxicity and Arsenic poisoning all in one breath.