When I only have one wish left so I try to pull a fast one on the genie

toph beifong would love the joe rogan experience

butchfemme relationship but we each take turns

me waking up from my orchiectomy: where's ikea meatball salesman doctor: who do you think took your balls? ikea meatball salesman: hej!

BREAKING: Tesla full self-driving will be released the same week Iran gets nuclear weapons

getting spitroasted by both ben and jerry

Lemme hit the Pen-Gvir

yeah im agp, a good puppy :)

We went to the victims of communism memorial and no one was there

fuuuuck theyre vivisecting me at work tomorrow :/

yeah sorry i cant go out tonight :/ yeah my girlfriend is doing experiments on me again :/// yeah the lobotomy experiments :///// the ones that lobotomize me yeah :///////

if IM puppy and YOURE puppy then who's flying the plane

I did what I could.

That wasn't funny.

You can’t spell Warfare without Arf! :3

commodity fetishism is when i have a fetish for being treated like a commodity

would u still love me if i blew my shit clean off

Oomf talking about some "mission to the moon," maybe focus on ur mission for the poon for once

my girlfriend doesnt like my sharps mug

CUNOESSE - Do it, f****t! SET ME FREE!

9 beers 9 dogs challenge sounds like the average night at @autokynephile.bsky.social 's house

call me bacon the way i make a meal outta her pee

flapping my hands at the coffee shop call that stim hortons

PTA SWEEP ONE AWARD AFTER ANOTHER

"enough gender, time for bender" - my roommate

bro it's not an eating disorder bro im starvationmaxxing bro im preparing for the harsh winters ahead

shitting my guts out in the onroute inclusive transgender washroom

what if @edzitron.com was a lemon and his name was ed citron

nothing more tragic than your favorite emo band only ever playing shows in south carolina

as confucius once said: "yearning without thought is labor lost, thought without yearning is perilous"

Pretty lady, eh?

[pointing at your GDR flag] nice pride flag

[me experiencing anything sapphic] wow this is just like signalis

smoking that dog weed that scooby doobie doo that shit that makes you bark woof awrruff ૮₍˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶₎ა

sex patch notes: • nerfed petplay • thrusting too fast will no longer cause penis to clip through vaginal wall • average load size reduced to 3 mL • fixed exploit where twinks were starving themselves instead of just prepping • tgirls can now get pregnant

I miss Rob Ford, RIP to a real one

i started hrt one winter olympics ago

how the cast of letterkenny would react to you coming out wayne: okay. squirrely dan: you know i think we're all a bits homosexual daryl: me too! katy: i know reilly & jonesy: [slurs]

A couple days ago I learned that engineers regularly throw crossdressing parties and like, cmon that’s gotta crack so many eggs every year. This is the woke college agenda manifest.

the government of canada loves telling you to go to a help page that tells you to go to a different help page that tells you to go to a webform that tells you to go to a help page

EGG HEAD - “Skibadee, skibadanger! I am the rearranger!”

work permit got approved so my roommate got me a cake

hi loves 🖤 still trying to get enough together for rent if you can help huge forever thanks to everyone who's helped already, many of you several times over the last few months. i love you

need some money before i go broke and cant pay my electric. gracias for any boosts and double handies to any donations (dont hold me to that) cash.app/$ViviMorte

you have no idea how frustrating it is to be a lesbian with neither car nor house keys. wtf am i supposed to put on my carabiner

beautiful older woman who's into petplay but insists on being called a heckin pupper. would you hit?

girl who chooses her political ideology based on who had the biggest eyebrows: yeah i follow stalinist-brezhnevist lin biao thought

hi everyone! i really hoped i wouldn't have to do this again, but the job i had been counting on/felt assured was mine went to somebody else. so i'm still unemployed in boston. if you can spare anything to help me with rent & bills, i'm $thrillow on cashapp/@thrillow on venmo thank you as always 🖤

thinking about how my cat would always shove her face into my armpits. what a freak