i take it as a personal insult every time a game forces me to play as a dude

why does the app that controls my vibrator have gacha game login rewards

tuesday 5pm shower beer is a sign of indisputable mental stability

tiddies so fat and yet no one is holding me from behind and gingerly slipping their hands underneath my tank top to feel them. what gives?

realize i have a drinking problem -> drink to forget -> forget i have a drinking problem -> problem solved

no more brian johnson 'drinking my son's cum for longevity' shit we must invent human bonsai where young men try to make themselves as old and gnarled and tiny as possible in as short an amount of time

starting to realize that i do actually have pretty nice boobs

but doctor, i am fagliacci

it's just me, my mullet, and my fat juicy ass against the world

who will be the dora ingerlund to my harrier du bois

happiness was made up by johnathan happy in order to trick people into buying more antidepressants

sometimes it is not enough to suck the dick between her legs. sometimes you must suck the dick that is in her heart

fujoing out about the gay canadian hockey show

went through an entire bottle of 52% abv baijiu with my roommate last night and im barely hungover because i am pure of heart and recognize the ideological superiority of socialism with chinese characteristics

if you squeeze hard enough you can actually get blood from a stone

GET OUT OF MY HEAD

rule one of t4t is never fall in love

they said she couldn't get cross faded on a tuesday night when she clocks in at 9am tomorrow. they were wrong

if im free use and youre free use who's flying the plane????

Need to get stabbed by a beautiful woman

They smeared Keanu Reeves’ face with a TON of peanut butter for a scene in John Wick 3 and the dog is SO FUCKING EXCITED

watching john wick and getting really horny every time keanu says good dog

reposting this cuz it's topical again and because i like when people read my poetry

in love with all my mistakes, call that follyamorous

thinking about how 2/3 of my hrt regimen is delivered via my ass

ngl dog treats taste pretty good if ur not a huge pussy about it

Combat, for "Macrophage"

Tarot cards themed for Warhammer 40,000

i once got broken up with so hard i developed a literal pain response to being sad. my hands ache like im a 68 year old with arthritis

it's writing girl winter

getting breast aug so i can look like bob from fight club

hey bro long time no see. wanna come over and play some halo? i got a six pack we could crack open. also im a girl now. you still drink coors? i can get something else if you want

i need a weapon

i would fuck both Frankenstein and Frankenstein's monster from the 2025 movie Frankenstein (2025)

i need to be mistreated

need cheesp urger

hitting the work teams chat with a good morning everypony

does chappell roan fw puppygirls? asking for a friend

we're so back. unemployment arc is OVER

one L after another

they call me george cuz i got that w bush

i desperately need all the shawarma i eat to go to my tits

how would i describe my kinks? blood, sweat, and tears

i love my gay dog life

society was created so that we might know the joy of day drinking

permission to bounce on it, sir?

BBW stands for Bitches Be Woofin

guy who says go birds to show his support for the toronto blue jays