Calling it the "fwenulum :3" to entice her into putting her tongue and lips all over it

Average Drizzy and Yeezy fan is the type of guy who doesn't quite know what the cervix is but he's getting closer to it every time he tries

Barbershop talk has been completely rotted by AI discussions, this is hell on earth

She suck it like the current Conservative Party of Canada leader the way she go down on this poll

She suck it like the former Federal NDP leader the way she make my 'Meet Singh

Tiger Woods off them gas station percs

Uncircumcised guy who gets his words mixed up: "Yeah I've been trying to have sex with my girlfriend but my phrenology is making it difficult :((("

$11.50 VIA Rail Tallboy save me, save me $11.50 VIA Rail Steamwhistle Tallboy

Grown man having a full tantrum at the North Oshawa Shopper's because he doesn't want to buy condoms - "But we could get child benefits if you do, that'd be fucking nice for once"

Oshawa Uber driver is a white guy named Bert driving a Tesla #RecessionIndicator

10. Baseball / Hockey game beer 9. Friday beer 8. Train beer 7. First beer of May long weekend 6. Summer patio pint 5. Beer while you grill 4. Second beer at the cottage 3. Hammock beer 2. Perfect Guinness at the pub 1. Fifth beer of the night

Ice cold beer on the train may be within top ten beers all time

I'm always saying this

Tell NASA swing that stupid tellerscope around and I'll show them the brown side of my moon

Oomf talking about some "mission to the moon," maybe focus on ur mission for the poon for once

Imagine getting your shit blown smoove off by a pump action blunderbuss

Please God in heaven above let Kojima discover Tyla

Love me the Ho Ho Ho's like I'm Saint Nick

Two fingers up in that thang like Rich Nixon

I'm King Pervy slime, made my name offa Pervin'

Tory Lanez ft. Chris Brown, just incredible. #FreeTory

Actually baiting women into making inappropriate jokes and then chastising them for it may be one of my fave things

Damn they got me on sale on Marketplace rn

I miss being on disability benefits and gambling away all my cheques on online Chinese dice games

White buddy who had the Post Malone Braids for a while a few years has popped back up on insta with his hair twisted again #RecessionIndicator

I must be the white Magic Johnson the way no one fucks with me

9 beers 9 dogs challenge sounds like the average night at @autokynephile.bsky.social 's house

Sending myself to the Uma world to teach Maru to say Slime and Twin and throw up YVL

Smoking straight Shohei Kush Bombs and lowballing on McGwire jerseys in eBay, Im really with the shits #SellRobManfredIntoWhiteSlavery

Hey man, can I get a High Value Chocolate Blunt "I don't know if we have those but here's the menu" Yeah, here man the High Value one, the chocolate blunt "Oh the high value chocolate *sativa* blunt, coming right up" I'll smoke a dispensary worker like a dead opp right now don't play with me man

Bluesky needs a "Twitter Squirt Spaces" equivalents to survive honestly

Smoking on that shit that turned the Nostalgia Critic into a puppygirl

This spring, we smokin on some feminized therians

Call me a PlayStation mascot the way I be making this Ratchet Clank

The opps tried to Dead my Money, now they gotta deal with the Fallout

My opps convinced I'm Spyro the way I'm spitting this fire on 'em

They call me the White Neo Cortex the way I crash out over the Bands and Cooch

This bitch must think my dick a healslut the way she begging me for Mercy

My haters must think I'm a VR headset the way this motion got them sick of me

They're calling me the White Nathan Drake the way this motions so Uncharted

My opps call me the White Sgt. Johnson the way I could have been their daddy if my dawgs ain't beat me to it

God must have turned my SBMM off the way I can't find anyone who can match my level

I took control of the motion and now all these hoes coming round talking about Wii, but it's just Mii up in this bitch

How it feels to be an almost 30 year old straight man rocking out to Ninajirachi live sets

The face my car keys see after that fourth tall boy pops open

How it feels to make my fourth coffee and scroll twitter in the break room while my stupid employees do all the work

I was so ahead of my time on this Clavicular shit

In her box for five minutes like a hockey player on some major shit

Call her Lois Grippin the way she squeezing on my Peter