Voting for my cat Riot for president. She may look a little intimidating but she’s extremely affectionate and wants everyone to eat as long as she can have a little too.

Me: ‘Your honor, on the day in question my cat ate breakfast and dinner and in between ripped open a bag of treats and a bag of her supplemental fancy raw freeze dried food and ate it all.’ My cat’s attorney: ‘Your honor, my client has never been fed in her 17 years of life.’

My favorite nature girl

Big tees are the thing for meee

Crimson at the moment of your touch.

Look, things are only getting worse so you might as well follow for more sexy pics and real talk. You gotta train yourself to still be horny and deal with reality at some point.

We’re taking all the good news we can! This will be life changing for so many families!

Hello generous clients! I’m looking to help raise some funds for trans community self actualization projects. That may sound vague but it’s best to be discreet in these situations! I’m looking to raise 2k of which I am pledging 500 of my own money. This will build community and save lives.

Seattle, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to make eye contact, maybe even say hi, to your neighbors you pass on the street.

My politics is that I care about other people.

It’s in your best interest to set your stuff down and come join me.

All of these happen on a date with me. In various orders!

Shout out to people who are still able to get horny given the current state of the world.

Holidays muted time and any focus on work stuff but I promise I’m coming back online… next week 🙃

Proud to be on your naughty list. Treat me to a Christmas gift and you might make it on my nice list 🎁 throne.com/brookeivey

I’m sorry, I can’t let you up early, I’m doing witchcraft.

Ho Ho Ho! It’s off to work I go!

for every one hundred likes [within reason] i’ll put pam bondi in some form of trash receptacle.

Not on my actual wishlist but on the wishlist in my mind: A new Bose speaker for my house A bottle of Strega Liquor The softest sweater in an earth tone A refurbished Mac book Donations to Aileen’s, Northwest Immigrant Solidarity Network, and Lavender Rights Project 😇

The first rule of Fight Club is you don’t talk poorly about yourself.

Best line of the new Knives Out: ‘Feminist Marxist Wh*res are destroying the world.’ 😂

you’ve definitely heard of elf on the shelf but are you ready for

What is the meaning of life? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Are you afraid of the dark? The only true wisdom is in knowing that you know nothing.

Okay so in the spirit of keeping to buying second hand whenever I can, for Xmas I am hoping for eBay and Etsy gift cards! Always accepting Sephora, Aesop, and local book store gift cards too!

Can’t believe no one has taken me to Teatro Zinzanni yet!

Sarah Paulson deserves every single award on the planet for Carrington Lane on All’s Fair. It is truly one of the most diabolically outrageous characters I’ve ever seen and I cannot stop laughing.

🎶 Please, please, please use an emoji in the note section When you, you, you are sending a deposit My account could get flagged and then you won’t see me anymoreeee🎶

Look who’s coming our way, Seattle!

“damn girl are you Black Friday bc i'm wondering what your fucking deal is”

I’m so real for this.

Someone showing me their Letterboxd Me: “Okay my little Gene Shallot!”

As someone who studies both Astrology and the stock market… The stock market is absolutely astrology for men.

Some days you have to create your own sunshine ☀️

Hear me out, 2026 reboot of the Brave Little Toaster but it’s the Brave Little Ring Light of an OF creator.

Now would be an incredible time to move all your communication *cough emailing providers cough* to protonmail.

Bay Area! If I flew in Monday to Wednesday 12/8-12/10 would I have any that wants to see beautiful ol me?

Alexa: Play “One Thing” by Lola Young 🎵💙

Are you coming?

What is adult content about this picture? 😅

Why ChatGTP when you chat with me? I don’t require nearly the same amount of water and staring at me for hours will not give you a headache. 😇

SPOILER: the only two songs in Bugonia are Good Luck, Babe by Chappell Roan and Basket Case by Green Day.

Post pilates, pre-cleaning my room

Suuureeee I could continue doing research for my next writing project but I could also binge watch a very horny French period piece tv show on HBO.

I love when cats are named ~Henri~

Thank you Bluesky. I do need news from independent journalists dispersed amongst pictures of my hot friends in bikinis. 🙏

Fascinating if true:

Hello! I am off grid this week! See you later, gaters!

Okay let’s have a normal argument on the internet. Do you eat your pizza crust or are you a monster?

Collective power actually works ya’ll. Radicalize, organize, unionize, celebrate and then keep moving.

PNW GFE means hairy pits, waxed bikini, shaved legs, a penchant for nice cocktails, and getting your ear talked off about hot girls, good books, and care centered politics. Don’t worry! Your d gets s’ed real good too.