NYC: I’ve arrived and I’m craving some fresh uni and a soak at Aire. Let’s make plans? (Long distance admirers: you can still send me to soak my chilly self at Aire via gift card, just saying 😘)

Miss me? Enjoying my silly little thirst traps and thoughts? Want to make a special impression before we meet? I just updated my wishlist with some little treasures… marigoldgift.com/averysimonex...

Anyway - the best way to keep up with me for now is either here or via my Substack (really loving that app so far!). Please send thoughts and prayers and wishlist treats during this difficult time of grief.

The Reaper (X’s terms and conditions) comes for us all. RIP my twitter account 🙃🙃🙃🙃

Dirty martini / dirty mind 🫒🧚🏻

🖕🏻🧊♾️

Sure, you could send her roses, but a weekly CSA share of unique arrangements from a local flower farm?! top tier 😮‍💨 🥵

NYC boyfriends : my dance card is almost full, but I still have some availability on Thursday 1/15 and Friday 1/16. Omakase and chill?

Red rum

Baby’s first Substack post 😘 substack.com/@averysimone...

My NYC dance card is filling up quick, but I still have availability for a dinner date on 16th or a little afternoon getaway on the 14/15. Lately I’ve been dying to check out Jungsik, Saga, or the Office of Mr. Moto 👀 Philly boyfriends: I could be lured your way by the right date pitch on the 17th😘

Stepping into 2026 as God intended ✨ Thank you, R, for giving me the princess treatment for our first date 💕

2026 Ins: Generous spirits Spin the bottle Analogue media Fucking back 2am wishlist notifications MFM bookings Tipping 50% Owning a tamagotchi Outs: AI apologists Burrata “Avail now?” The gentrification of tinned fish “Unhinged” when you actually mean just like a lil’ kooky

Alright, last chance before the year is over to confess your crush on me. (Just kidding, you can actually also confess it in 2026, preferably over a shared bottle of something nice in a dimly lit restaurant)

🍒 NYC 🍒 JANUARY 13-17 🍒 I’ll show you my extensive list of restaurants I’ve been meaning to try if you show me yours 😉

I’ve migrated my newsletter on over to Subst@ck (same username as here). I’ll be posting occasional little musings and pics as well as upcoming travel plans - keep your eyes peeled for a little something from me over the next day or so (and a NYC travel announcement for January!)

If you’ve enjoyed my online or IRL presence this year (or both!), it’s not too late to play Santa btw 🎁 👀

My crowning achievement for Christmas dinner: homemade lychee martini jello shots 💅

This Christmas, I’m sponsoring a local family of four meeting their needs of groceries and some toys for their kids. $ velvetdreamsss for those who’d like to help contribute ❤️ Wishing you all a peaceful and happy holiday season! ❤️ 🕯️ 🌲 ✨

What’s your beach read?

Things are looking very seasonal and cozy over here, for those interested in securing a place on my Nice list 😇

Place your bets on whether I decided to wear panties to dinner or not.

Your body isn’t a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.

Baby’s first trip to Miami 🦩 Thanks to my sexy tourguide, more FMTY adventures for 2026 please!

You were never looking for ordinary - neither am I.

Feeling so excited to be recommitting to my yoga practice, as well as starting to dip my toes into power lifting for the first time! My fav activewear is on sale right now for those who’d like to encourage my gym visits (& I look really good in these leggings,believe me🙂‍↕️)

Making boys blush with my bestie Malia - reach out if you’d like to get in between us!

I want a Sunday type of love 🎶

ISO: someone cute to hold my bag at the farmers market 👼🏻

What makes you feel alive?

New York never misses. Thanks for a fun weekend!

A chilly NYC evening with warm company 🌹❣️

Embarrassed to admit exactly how many photos of various pastel de nata from various bakeries I have in my camera roll from this Azores trip 😬 🍮

She’s baaack! Feeling very refreshed after a week of natural hot springs, stunning views, and lots of wine and seafood in the Azores. Easily one of my favorite places to escape to/get lost in. NYC boyfriends, I’ll be visiting this weekend and would love to get taken out Friday or Saturday! 💌💋 🇵🇹 🏝️

NYC: we still have time to get tangled up in something together 11/14 & 11/15! Pleeeease someone take me to Saga 🥺😇

Can I come over and crawl on your 80s Art Deco furniture like this?

Incredible opportunity for people who love tattooed brunettes and banter as a form of foreplay. Drop me a line, bb. 💌💋

Happy birthday to me! 🥂🦂🦋💕💋 Feeling grateful for another beautiful year under my (garter) belt and excited for what’s yet to come. Big love to all the sweeties who make my life so special! 💝 I’ve updated my wishlists for those inclined to spoil me a little (or a lot!) 💝

😵‍💫 You wanna get me and my bestie tickets to the vampire ballet sooooo baaaad 😵‍💫

My birthday’s in 9 days… but I wouldn’t stop you from spoiling me a little early 😎 🎉 marigoldgift.com/averysimonex... www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...

Unfortunately I do love: Regional accents Asking to see the dessert menu Vintage silk nightgowns Sake pairings Overpriced coffee Starting a book before I’ve finished the other book Wishlist notifications Turning my location off A quickie before the dinner reservation

🔔 Gentle reminder to those who’d like to see me in NYC 11/13-16 🔔 I’ll be out of office and not able to check emails the week before, from 11/5-11/12. I highly *highly* recommend reaching out sooner than later to plan our date so we don’t miss each other! Xoxo

👀

Helloooo Bluesky - I’ve been a little negligent of my presence on this platform but I’m back! 😇

October is my birthday month! I’ll be celebrating another trip around the sun on the 25th, but am accepting wishlist surprises all month long 🎁 🥂 🦂 🧚🏻🎃 dateavery.com/spoil-me

🍂 Fall Whereabouts 🍂 ✨October (my birthday month! 💝🥂) • NOLA & FMTY ✨Nov 3-4 • NYC (dinner 11/3 or brunch 11/4, prebooking required) ✨Nov. 4 • Boston MA (brunch or lunch date availability only, prebooking required) ✨Nov. 13-16 • NYC All other dates NOLA & FMTY 🧚🏻

🍭 NYC, I’m all yours 9/25-9/30 🍭 Manifesting a jaunt to the Cloisters, dinner at Jungsik, and perhaps a duo with one of my (million) NYC crushes… choose your own adventure ⚔️

So excited to return to the East Coast this summer! Prebooking is sexy, and I may be convinced to linger in certain cities by the right date pitch - shoot your shot and let’s have fun! Stay tuned for NYC and New England availability in August 🍒✨🍉🍦

Have had a very stressful week and would love to be treated to a massage to unwind… if you wanna be my hero, send 100-200 to $velvetdreamsss 😘

spring cleaning has been completed and it’s cute over there! 💻 ✨