Just imagine how much funnier I'd be if I wasn't so horribly depressed.

You know how I know that some of the residents actually read my notes? Because I see a phrase I have never once seen/heard anyone use in the time I've been here in theirs. They think I'm smart! Or they also don't want to document that a baby briefly went bradycardic to a HR of ZERO for 3 seconds.

Trying to explain “tracked changes” to someone who has never worked an office job is making my head explode.

The straights are not okay.

Öh bröther, this guy STINKS.

Me burping the 11 lb sugar baby in the NICU:

Change up your psych meds. Surely you don’t regret messing with your psych meds when your parent has cancer, you’re burnt out on work and school and it gets dark at 4:30 pm. Watch this space 🤙

My close friends IG stories are a cry for help at this point.

#HCWvsHunger check-in, maybe some #NightOwl #Kidvengers will get us > $22K by morning? 🥺 @swoonganz.medsky.social @killersumobunny.medsky.social @omnintensivist.bsky.social @drnicolec.bsky.social @nicumusings.bsky.social @neodrswenson.bsky.social @neotecan.bsky.social @drjaimefriedman.bsky.social

For hospital workers to go on strike, the conditions must be B A D since we are basically used to verbal and sometimes physical abuse, short staffing, bad pay, and lateral violence at baseline. It’s not a decision that is made lightly and it doesn’t make us selfish. We strike because we care.

Tell me something good

I don’t normally struggle working holidays, but today feels really hard.

If you’re making Tini’s recipes today, hold her closer in your heart. people.com/tini-younger...

I started a new save file in Ooblets and my favorite NPC just said my favorite phrase.

Me: *picking up a new med* Pharmacist: “do you have any questions?” Me: “yes! how do I taper off the one I’m on now?” Pharmacist: “did the person who prescribed this not tell you?” Me: “well, neither one of us expected insurance to cover it so……….”

Working Thanksgiving means I get to call all the patients “little turkeys”. It’s the law, actually.

About to have a crash out over this final project right now and I need someone to remind me that it really isn’t that serious.

Went to get my nails done to celebrate two months of not biting them. The nail art was so good I rolled my ankle and almost fell into a ditch in the rain admiring them.

I have never wanted anything as much as my cat wants to eat and then vomit up a leaf.

NSFW potato

A "big boat stuck" headline would really heal me right now.

I have whatever flavor of autism corresponds with wanting a videogame that is just a rug cleaning simulator. A game in which I spray dirty rugs and use other rug cleaning tools on them to make them clean. I want that. I do not, however, want to clean any real rugs.

2.5 weeks left of the term and I am running on fumes. WE ARE SO BACK

Things I ponder as I sit here with all my holds maxed: I wonder if anyone has ever had kids just to get an extra library card for more book holds.

I'm an idiot.

Levi claims to have pooped in the potty at daycare and I regret to say I currently feel EXACTLY like a doctor who doesn’t believe their patient started exercising

There will always be at least one person who sighs loudly when they see your name in their inbox, and I think that's beautiful.

It appears that expecting even an email acknowledging my decade of work at the same organization was too much.

Now how dare these babies wait until 0500 to have a blood sugar of THIRTY TWO (32)??? Didn’t they realize it was my Friday???????

Wait until the instant pot people discover what an autoclave can do.

It’s finally my Friday 🥰

I had a huge breakthrough in therapy the other day but the problem is it depressed the fuck out of me now I need therapy for my therapy wtf

Why is my Finch pet dreaming about ICE?

A "big boat stuck" headline would really heal me right now.

“We are doing another footprint craft after this” “I have to take your axillary temperature again”

Current money saving tactic: buying the ultra generic brand of cereal that comes in a gigantic cellophane bag at the discount grocery store like I'm going to feed a horse.

Starting to lose hope that I will ever land my ideal job. It just feels like I don't fit in anywhere at this point. And it is starting to feel even more like it's ME and not the environment.

it’s not a chore chart it’s an apartment order set. the apartment MAR, if you will.

I have some mutuals with this creep who has been sliding into peoples' DMs and being generally gross

ACAB. And that includes the elf on a shelf.

I will never stop drawing little eyelashes on the teeny weeny phototherapy eye masks for the babies.

The line between “union steward” and “cult leader” becomes more and more blurry with each passing day.

I need a beta blocker after that shift.

Another day, another misinformed person alleging that new grads can't start in the ICU and that they don't respect any hospital that allows them to. The truth is, new grads can be successful in critical care with the proper orientation and support. The end!

Improved morale deflates my ass tho gotta stay depressed

“Don’t let the bastards grind you down. I love you all.”

having kids is so hard because you have to correct misconceptions like “pee is stored in the penis” without making a SINGLE “pee is stored in the balls” joke

The ass beating will continue until morale improves.

We didn't get to wish anyone a Happy Halloween this year, but there's no time to fall off a ladder like the present when you are taking down your Halloween decorations.

Got my ass beat by a baby that weighs less than a dictionary. 🤡