I heard Andy Burnham saw a blind man in the street and kissed him on the forehead, and the blind man was suddenly able to see the future economic benefits of marginally reducing corporate tax rates in order to stimulate growth.

Multiplayer. Videogames arr fundamentally a solitary experience. Fuck off other people.

Supergirl is basically "What if Superman was a clinically depressed alcoholic?" Relatable.

The planet Earth.

FTL is awesome and you should play it.

I like how when I go to the table number selection on the Nando's website my phone suggests a series of random numbers that possibly could be correct. Thank you "AI" that was very helpful.

The Jam Guy level of Yoshi and the Mysterious book has a bunch of challenges about doing things on the beat and I have absolutely no idea what that actually means.

Without downloading any new pics, what’s it like dating you?

Look, I know that allowing Starkiller Base to absorb the energy of the Sun and use it to destroy the Earth woild have downsides, but we would briefly be less hot.

Me visiting the reflecting pool.

90% of modern media criticism just sounds like this

You've Led your last Zeppelin.

Sensibles defending Keir Starmer.

We all owe this guy an apology.

Keir Starmer Resigns Amid ‘Not Being Very Good Prime Minister’ Scandal

Labour are already making the same mistake they did after the last general election of convincing themselves that a not-all-that-impressive election win was a huge endorsement of the new PM and not that everyone hates the old guy and would have voted for anyone to get rid of him.

It will be very funny if all this ridiculous hyping up the media are doing of Burnham backfires and everyone hates him before he even gets in.

So long, Kier Starmer. We may have had our differences, but despite it all I will always remember you as a horrible bastard who I hate.

This latest argument from the sensibles that if people have multiple reasons for hating Starmer it means he did nothing specifically wrong is the apotheosis of the “if both sides hate me it proves I’m right” logic.

Change in Headline

Even god hates those stupid misaligned diagonals.

The funniest thing would be if he announced an early general election.

I liked the time early on where he showed up at a random pub for a promotional video, didn’t check whether the landlord liked him first, got a load of COVID conspiracies shouted at him, then walked in for his pulling a pint photo while his security restrained the landlord. youtu.be/roandsH_EdI?...

Oh I DO want this to happen. The banter timeline might as well really go nuts.

Bribes.

Imagine if It Happens on the same day that Starmer resigns.

At the Reflecting Pool, and guys, this doesn’t look right.

Adolf Hitler, welcome to the resistance 💙

The one good thing about Trump is that he is constantly humiliating the fascist losers who sign up for the military.

It's about a yellow guy called Homer who writes Greek heroic epics.

Advertise your BlueSky account with a Simpsons gif.

Muppet Inferno.

Andy Burnham agrees that Keir Starmer's 5% titanium tax goes exactly too far enough.

Yeah, we could have proper chairs which would be objectively better for everyone, but what if a homeless person was slightly comfortable? What if then?

The USMNT are no match for the TMNT.

Yep this is fucking racist. Exactly the same as Starmer’s “the only focus group required is the pub” comment

Pictured: Keir Starmer considering his future as Prime Minister.

Nice glass here.

Soon, all the journalists will finally be able to stop asking “Why is Keir Starmer so hated despite being boring?”, and a few weeks after that they will be able to start asking “Why is Andy Burnham so hated despite being Northern?” They will never read the answers to that one, either.

Labour will see the kind of poll boost that happens under every new PM, all the zealots will say it proves Burnham is unstoppable despite still being well behind Reform, and then two months later be back to screaming that the terrible polling is because everyone has been brainwashed by the media.

On top of all the other incredibly stupid things about the age verification laws, what is going to happen the first time a suspected online child predator claims in court that they justifiably believed the people they convinced to send nudes were adults because they passed age verification?

Only those guilty of Wrongthink have anything to fear from allowing our Benevolent Overlords to read all your texts and emails.