This summer, make a date to see Rob Schneider in: I No Longer Have Enough Money to Cover the Embarrassment of Being Married to Me (part II)

*Melania in a dramatically lit scene, mouth full of crackers* “All I vant for ze world is piss. World piss!”

Saw a car in the hospital staff parking lot that had a bumper sticker reading 'People Over Profits. Healthcare For All'. It's a laudable sentiment but misplaced somewhat at the area's most expensive private hospital where I just had to pay 3k to walk in the door last week.

Trump is definitely 'that asshole' in a zombie flick that tries to hide the evidence of his bite so he can bully his way onto the last airplane to safety.

Getting a tax refund: 😊 Realizing that tax refund will 'almost' pay your insurance yearly maximum and copay: 🙄

The moderators over at r/conservative deleting any comment referencing their Orange Crush's new 2nd Amendment decree. I love this for them.

It is absurd to leap frog over the well trained Secret Service to give ICE agents a 'Holiday for Hicks'. www.france24.com/en/europe/20...

Greg Bovino announces he is retiring to spend more time abducting other people’s children.

My family and all the MAGAs I know in real life live by this chosen existence in an alternate reality. They've either completely tuned out or they've so highly curated their 'news' to avoid concerning truths.

This man is so blitzed and frightened that he turned himself into a parody that no political cartoonist could hope to excel. And this was achieved purely through nonviolence.

I'm grateful to have a second chance at life, but it is past time for medical devices to be customizable rather than 'one size fits all'. I'm fascinated by how much I look like John Hurt's character in Alien.

I can’t believe their plan of shooting people in the face and bombing their homes hasn’t proven more popular

this will haunt me until the day i die. like what are we doing. go watch a fucking movie dude. go hug your kids. what are all of you doing.

@sykescharlie.bsky.social examines the lies Trump’s fascist administration uses to justify performative brutality and mask state killings. Bystander videos expose the truth. If that is the culture of cruelty on-camera, what is happening out of public view? charliesykes.substack.com/p/what-if-th...

Vomit. Rinse. Repeat. Expect to see more of this "Well, if it isn't the predictable results of my actions" in the coming weeks from men and women who care more about their jobs than a mounting death toll. www.huffpost.com/entry/ice-fu...

If there were justice in this world, this would be the next billboard we'd see Bessent carrying around.

If we ever need to shoot humans into the sun on a doomsday mission to save the Earth, I nominate the staff of the New York Post. They're now trying to blame the unreliability of the Pretti's gun and justify past accidental discharges as a justification for his murder. Irredeemable ghouls.

Alex Pretti’s last words were “are you ok?” said the woman next to him who ICE also pepper sprayed in the face.

*These* are the people you want to let into homes without a judicial warrant?

What I expect to happen in the next year, unfortunately, is some incident where an ICE agent goes on a spree shooting rampage. They're hiring unqualified unhinged psychos for these roles and giving them no training and oversight. It's only a matter of time.

What started off as some sweet cuddling from Izzy rapidly turned into an attempt to remove some stitches. It's taken her a week to realize that there are some pretty yummy bones just under the surface.

This is the first day since open heart surgery that I've been able to give myself permission to simply rot into my easy chair and watch guilty pleasure content on Youtube. The worst thing about being brainwashed into 'hustle culture' is the lack of permission we give ourselves to recuperate.

Had my first in-home physical therapy session and was discharged after 20 minutes because I'm apparently doing fine for being a week out of surgery. That's for the best because trying to contain an excitable border collie probably isn't the best thing for the heart at the moment.

DHS was a bad idea from the word go that was sold when the nation was angry and hurting and good decisions are never made in an emotionally charged state. www.theatlantic.com/politics/202...

I've got to say that Trump's plan to bring down drugs 2000% is pretty darned bold. These companies are going to pay me to accept their pills. They'll be taking out loans, risking bankruptcy, all to pay American citizens money and give them as many pills as they can take.

too funny not to make it 😅👇

I'm grateful to be a person that someone would send a get well soon to but those sappy poems staring me in the face at 2am as I experience the most exquisite pain in my life are filling me with an uncharacteristic rage. There's only too much cute one can cope with sometimes.

Alright, Scott Baio. You know the drill. Be prepared to give up your Daytime Emmy for the Afterschool Special "Stoned" so Trump's fragile feelings won't be hurt. www.irishstar.com/culture/ente...

The good: I’m going home The bad: The doctor says that I’m so thin that the metal plate will be visible for however long I exist and I should have it out in a few weeks. A big hell no on that one. I’ve been through enough.

If they don't spring me from this hospital, I'm considering asking for humane euthanasia though the hospital's 'open floor plan' connecting an ICU with the weirdness of a Myrtle Beach Emergency Department on a weekend has been entertaining.

Jill's hubby here, This morning she had a double bypass operation. They took one artery from her breast and the other from her leg. She's doing fine, but I imagine that's the drugs still in her system. We'll see how she feels tomorrow. Her mood did improve when they removed the breathing tube.

*A* piece of broccoli? Has Brooke Rollins ever eaten a meal?

Doctor to Jill: Okay, it's important to get lots of rest before surgery. Izzy to Jill: Okay, I'll bark all night and run around like a madwoman.

How awkward. I'm dealing with a barrage of spam and well wishing texts. Somehow my wires got crossed and I responded "STOP" to a friend's sappy "We'll be thinking of you tomorrow" message.

A bruised ego from those who didn't congratulate him for killing an innocent woman is now 'internal bleeding'.

This would be like Timothy McVeigh suing to stop Oklahoma City memorials, claiming that they failed to also acknowledge and honor the anti-government nutters and white supremacists. www.rawstory.com/january-6-pl...

Reading MyPatientChart, nodding my head, and pretending like I know what any of this means.

Oh! Did we promise cell phones? We meant to promise sell-phonies. Innocent mistake.

I managed to put Friday out of my mind for an hour and then the insurance company nurse called to remind me that I'll be in the worst pain of my life next week. Golly, that makes me feel better.

TL/DR summary of the article: A few ICE agents have a case of the sads that a day might come where their decision to brutalize and murder their fellow man could carry social and legal consequences. www.thedailybeast.com/dhs-ice-hate...

Maga: Anti-ICE protestors are being paid! Kristi Noem: I'm secretly using $8 million taxpayer dollars to pay podcasters, & influencers to pretend to love ICE.

Izzy may be a tiny bit evil at times but her head cock game means I can never stay annoyed too long

Florida seems shocked that they are getting the classic Trump contractor treatment. Those in charge of the coffers should consider a massive investment in bootstraps. www.wptv.com/wptv-investi...

All of those admirers are out on the town, hanging out with the morally bankrupt ICE agent, and having the time of their lives just out of frame.

Dense fog may be a bitch to drive through in the morning with thousands of your fellow man but if I had eff you money and could afford to hang out on a balcony at the beach all day, I could learn to love it.

Please jump

Lmao. Their kids hate them too.