A perfect image of the Trump era: A grandmother has to work at DoorDash in order to get by, while the president decorates his office in gold accent pieces.

Our terrier Otto has come a long way behaviorally, but the one thing that's going to give me a heart attack is heading into the kitchen and seeing him frolicking on the counter. He takes counter surfing to a whole new level and makes me doubly appreciative for fat beagles who lack athleticism.

Scrolling through my pictures and just found a photo of my doctor coming in from the beach to perform my surgery last January after miraculously getting my insurance company to pay 82 thousand dollars.

Another way to look at this isn’t he’s being blasphemous, but sucking out the life force of yet another American.

Wowee Zowee. With the mileage from Dog Patch, America to Washington D.C Grandma might be able to afford Pop-Pop's basic medical supplies for half a day. Paying no tax on Trump's five dollar tip is gonna save 'em. That's a lot more bootstrappy than meaningful reform of the insurance industry.

the enemy of my enemy is.... the pope? wait that can't be right.

2021 deepfake fear was that eventually anonymous foreign trolls could create clear enough fake videos of the president to fool grandma into losing her social security check, the 2026 reality is that the number one place people see actual AI-generated scam content is from the President's social media

On the one hand, Trump lost his war in Iran. On the other hand, he has propagandists who say the contrary.

Proud to be an American-Lee Greenwood. The comically forced sentimentality is so on the nose that it might as well have been a South Park original. We were forced to sing it in elementary school & I mouthed the words because even at 9 years old, I despised it so much.

More time and thought have been put into colonoscopy preparation than Vance and the contingent of negotiators who cannot 'think good' put into talks with Iran.

Society if the media and consumers of media decided to ignore Bill Maher.

Trumpublicans: No sex before marriage. Don't expect the government to help subsidize your choices. Something, something, bootstraps. Also Trumpublicans: Children, please have children.

Every credulous buffoon in Tech Journalism:

I'm diabetic, but I saw some 50% off Easter candy & decided to treat my husband. A man came along & warned me not to buy too much lest I 'ruin my figure'. This just goes to show that no matter how scrupulously you watch your diet or exercise, a man will always be along to call you fat.

"i could probably pilot a ship through the straight of hormuz" -next big thing 80% of men secretly believe about themselves

What it feels like to come home to the headlines.

It's a little surreal to stand here at the counter looking up casserole recipes while occasionally checking a tab to see if your syphilitic president has committed more war crimes.

I prefer presidents who don’t threaten to end civilizations.

...and here come the navel gazing articles imploring me to embrace dissatisfied MAGA voters now that they've found a bridge too far. Screw that noise. They can embrace my way of seeing the world because I've managed to keep my soul intact while they gleefully sold theirs.

The only thing that would have made this slop more fitting and perfect would have been the addition of the "Shirtless Trump as Rambo" that the locals favor around here.

The astronauts aboard Artemis II can see the signs from the dark side of the moon. Sadly, nothing will be done because too many cabinet members fear his cult, fear for their future prospects, or a combination of the two. www.thedailybeast.com/top-doctor-s...

My thinking on this case is that Clarence Thomas should have been removed from office immediately when we found out his wife had plotted to overthrow our constitutional republic

CNBC headline tomorrow: Trump guzzled a Sprite and belched out "War Ends Soon" in one exhalation so the stock market rallied 10%. Meanwhile, in the Middle East.

The family should have been blindsided and more embarrassed by Noem's bloodthirsty approval of the murder of innocents in the street.

I'm never, ever going to be able to take the sheets off and actually see the furniture I spent a lot of money on.

Pulling the trigger on tomorrow's grocery order feels like I'm an unwitting cast member in an absurdist comedy.

Shareholders and executives must be over the moon now that the whole issue of 'conscience' and 'best medical practices' have been solved with an AI prompt of: Computer, deny every claim. www.news-press.com/story/news/h...

There's nothing quite like parents with dementia to remind you that you probably don't actually have middle aged chill/patience after all.

From here on out, I’m adopting senior dogs that are too short to counter surf. RIP to my favorite spatula

Whenever Izzy manages to evade the dog seatbelt, the bars, and the yoga ball to take her rightful place in the driver’s seat, I think this is how she sees herself

Strait of Trump? Whelp. That 'would' explain why it is closed and currently not functioning for American interests. www.cnbc.com/2026/03/27/t...

It should come as absolutely no surprise that no Trump showed up now that reelection isn't on the line. The family has extracted everything they need from people they wouldn't spit on if they were on fire. www.motherjones.com/politics/202...

Kash Patel probably fell for a super sophisticated "Scary Looking Military Boots With Six Inch Lifts On Sale Now" or "mAhA aPpRoVeD aLl NaTuRaL vIaGrA aLtErNatIvE" email from the Iranian hackers.

World's most anticipated obituary notice incoming. (A girl can dream) www.mediaite.com/online/white...

Jessica: I love that you read a newspaper. Watters: I read more than you. Financial Times, Wall Street Journal, New York Times, New York Post. Jessica: And you still say this crap on TV after you've read all that?

If/When the economy further tanks, the fluffers will have to put together a "Donald Trump Excellence and Outstanding Achievement Award For Being Donald Trump" 'major award' to turn his frown upside down. www.huffpost.com/entry/new-aw...

I thought 'touching grass' all day while planting flowers and berries was tough, but reading Trump's statement about the death of Robert Mueller makes me feel far dirtier than a day spent slinging cow excrement. I truly hate each and every person who made this man possible.

We hire him to help while they’re connecting up the craters into a canal…

I’d be lost driving to the dog park every morning without Izzy the Navigator. The ear drum shattering, high pitched bark is Grr-eat for concentration.

This winter, Penny ballooned to the size of a PT Cruiser so a walk seemed like in order. She bayed and bayed at an alligator, angering him/her and then decided that a nap in the middle of the road was a good idea.

We're rapidly reaching the point where "19 Kids and Counting" could either be an exploitative TLC 'reality' series or a victim count for the Duggars sons and fundie family adjacent.

Weiss is really shaking things up over at CBS. By shaking things up, I mean 'hiring men who get fewer views than some woman eating Oreos while whispering annoyingly on Youtube', of course. variety.com/2026/tv/news...

Having a big, dumb, and goofy dog slam into me while taking blood thinners makes me feel like this scene in Top Secret. I won't need to worry about looking abnormally pale this year for a beach resident because my hue is going to be 'giant painful looking bruise'. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hpyx...

In related news, I will continue to allowing the Sun to be at the center of our universe. www.cnbc.com/2026/03/16/u...

(Best 2013 Buzzfeed Tone) Here's a Top Ten List of the CRAZY Reasons Buzzfeed is Worth Less Than Your Old Microsoft Zune. Number Nine Will Make You Want to Assume the Fetal Position and Cry. www.marketwatch.com/story/how-bu...

I'm surprised he didn't order a replacement AR-15 as a little treat to his ammosexual supporters.

Whelp. With the 600 dollars the dental insurance just returned to me for an erroneously billed root canal, I can officially say that I am the proud owner of a paid off/debt free open heart surgery procedure. Sooo...yay, I guess.

I'm going to remind all of the Trumpers I personally know that they should be proud and grateful to pay their great and patriotic car juice tax. It will hurt to fill up our Kia Souls, but it will hurt them far more to fill up their stupidly large trucks.