oh hell yeah youtu.be/nGZOFyLrCwk?...

Why is forcing animals to violently fight one another in an arena in front of paying, cheering crowds considered immoral when it’s dogs, chickens or bears but perfectly fine even for children to watch when it’s Pokemon?

Poor old Betty wasn't as good at hide and seek and she thought she was

who all up in their grill

Kids love bobbing for apples because it involves two of their favorite things: washing their face and eating healthy food.

Is this a thing? “The Labubudook”.

Eating this froyo with a warrior ethos

Because I could not stop for Gas It kindly stopped for me

That’s the plan!

Coincidentally these are also the two frontrunners for the name of my new OnlyFans account.

Sometimes the perfect snack is the friends we made along the way

So. Anyone got any *good* news?

new mad magazine has an inspired cover

On the one hand life is an endless parade of shit. On the other hand, I saw an adorable kitten in a window this morning. So on the whole I’m breaking even today.

TYLENOL TURNED ME INTO A NEWT! (I didn’t get better. Still a newt.)

Had anchovies on toast for lunch and now my superpower is lethal fishburps.

Fun fact: The Rapture actually happened in 2016. That’s where all those celebs who “died” went. The trials and tribulations with plagues and fires and the Antichrist? That’s where we are now.

Goebbles or Miller?

Under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart

What my cat actually looks like vs what my phone thinks my cat looks like

You may well be the honeys that make the moneys but I swear to god if you throw your hands up at me ONE MORE TIME I’m not throwing them back again.

I’m so old I had an 8-track tapeworm

My hiphop name would be Bad Rapper

Nothing like a nice relaxing cup of Early Grey and a slice of orance caka.

"…and Magda Goebbels made a great strudel.”

I’m so old I remember when kids used to carve the Konami code into their bullets

Just drinking a perfectly normal vessel of normal human warm beverage in a completely normal manner

can america please stop breaking my fucking heart I’m so tired

I cannot celebrate violent attacks, but neither can I mourn the death of a man who gleefully celebrated violent attacks on others and who condemned the whole concept of empathy.

Found @gailsimone.bsky.social ‘s high school yearbook picture.

He’s just a little *too* into that self-grooming pad.

Welcome to all my new followers. It’s okay if you feel disappointed here. I totally understand.

<gasp> …tell Gloria… <gasp> …tell Gloria… she was right… <gasp> …it was the rhythm… <gasp> …the rhythm got me…

MOON

Hello police? I’d like to report being violently seized by a nap.

🎵I’m too sexy for my seeds, too sexy for my seeds…🎶

I wonder if Peter Parker ever just got fed up and said “Hey boss, I managed to get exclusive up close pictures of Spider-Man’s junk.”

"Alright, places ladies, places. Annemarie, Suzanne, you two are in the first number. Suzanne, how about you try not to fall on your face this time? Lorraine, go see Todd in makeup, you look like a clown. And Nancy, for chrissakes, put on some underwear."

Sorry about the look - I’m not really a morning person

Darth Vader at a Gungan nudist camp: “I find your lack of clothes disturbing.”

President Trump has announced that he’s not dead yet, he thinks he’ll go for a walk, and he feels happy.

“And now here’s Go-Kart Mozart with the weather chart…”

My dumptruck brings all my yard to the boys.

Hello, ChatGPT I want you to write a book for me Make it interesting, with a major plot twist in the third act Proofread it Edit it for me Publish it for me Read and review it for me Enjoy it for me Find love, and get married for me Have children, grow old, and die for me Now put a dog on the cover