"Please, Nicolas, we can take you anywhere you want to go. How about the Southern District of New York? Isn't that where you're going, to be arrested by President Donald? We could get you there by nightfall. We can even transport your wife. We know how much she means to you."

Operation just 'cause www.cbsnews.com/live-updates...

Holy hell, that is a lot of, uh, everything to have sitting in under-regulated darkness. www.bloomberg.com/news/article...

An estranged heir may need to interfere with their father's empire. Rivals and assassins are in constant pursuit. There is a deeper state of mind with its own rules but shared symbology. A safe's combination must be remembered both above and below. THE PHOENICIAN SCHEME or INCEPTION, which is it.

Those Peanuts cartoons where Lucy pulls the football never get old, an infinitely repeatable gag because the structure is so reliable and unvarying. www.nbcnews.com/politics/con...

I fucking hate satisfaction surveys that ask "How likely are you to recommend us to others" on a scale of 1 to 10. You're the power utility company, the phone company, my health insurer, these are not things I "recommend" to other people because their choices are as limited as mine! My answer is 0.

It turns out AI might even able to put face-eating leopards out of work. A robo-leopard will be able to mostly eat faces just fine, and it can do it around the clock.

It says so much about both Joe Rogan and AI music, that he's effusively into it.

What a completely classless piece of shit he is. Imagine anyone thinking that guy is America at its best. New York was right to shun him. History will, too, eventually. But not before every last good thing about this country is fully flushed down his toilet.

The stupid surprise here is not that AI failed to do the job that they gave it. The stupid surprise here is that Amazon put the results live into production without any actual knowledgeable human, not even one, reviewing the product for accuracy first. www.ign.com/articles/eve...

Sometimes you hear about a thing for the first time and it immediately goes on your Anti-Bucket-List, the list of things you are definitely not going to do in your lifetime, and for me, this week, that thing was crossing the Darién Gap.

(they found a way to get both)

Amazingly, the Mouse is going to have its cake and eat it, too. (And by amazingly, I mean entirely unsurprisingly. They were obviously going to mash both buttons.) deadline.com/2025/12/disn...

"Real Wives of the Solomonic Temple Kingdom" is a goof-ass pitch I am just putting out there for free, for anyone to make, because I would hella watch it.

"Don't worry, these foreign governments will have no equity governance rights at all, we'll just be beholden to them for many billions of dollars of forgivable loans, there's no possibility of abuse there at all." www.businessinsider.com/paramount-wb...

I know this makes me a bad person but I kinda wish Geddy Lee and Rush would get involved in some kind of massive lawsuit so I could joke that today's Tom Sawyer needs a keen keen lawyer.

Half Life (1998) is now as old as the first ever arcade game, Computer Space (1971) was when Half Life was released.

There's so many weird and wonderful indie TTRPGs out there. bundleofholding.com/presents/Sal...

The bot I built to buy short-dated out-of-the-money call options on companies mentioned in Money Stuff is going to get me investigated by the SEC, thanks a lot

Easy choice if you're a deer deciding where to buy a house

women are always saying “lord grant me the confidence of a mediocre man.” ok well he did. now what. is the world a better place? look at what you’ve wrought.

The US penny is now in more or less the same category of stuff as fractional shares of a stock, I guess.

Looks like I need a new starting guess word. Wordle 1,603 1/6* 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

They better bury Dick Cheney in an Undisclosed Location™ ‘cause I suspect a lot of bladders have been waiting a long, long time for this.

In the most obvious read, Aunt Gladys is the NRA. There are good alternate reads in which Aunt Gladys is Big Pharma or the broken healthcare system. But I really think Aunt Gladys is every American institution that is destroying the country while pretending to save it. Any of them. All of them.

Y'all should fire whoever wrote this. All of them. Including yourself, for posting it here, bootlicker.

Literally wants to be the villainous narrator in Jonathan Coulton's "The Future Soon". www.wired.com/story/elon-m...

It's going to be so amazing being alive in 2026 because the front page will say "BREAKING Mamdani Received Free Cheese Pizza From a Local Vendor, Calls to Resign Mount" and then on page 3 you'll see "Hegseth's Pentagon Rape Dungeon Raises Legal Questions."

I wonder what the relevant federal charges are for vandalizing a national monument and what the statute of limitation for them would be.

RIP Drew Struzan www.slashfilm.com/1996528/drew...

RIP Drew Struzan. 🕯️🎞

Ms.20, back from school for a few days, says “lowkey your car is almost out of gas” after borrowing it to drive around for *three days*. Fraction of a gallon left in the tank. She knows how to refill it! Sigh.

The fundamental shape of the problem is encapsulated in the way Left and Right Americans are basically in total agreement that the Constitution in its current form has failed to keep the country running well and should just be scrapped, but what they think should replace it has near-zero intersect.

Every single person who says "this is not what I voted for" goes into a mental bucket that I have labeled Too Stupid to Know What They're Voting For. (Even the ones who would be more properly labeled Too Amoral to Care What They're Voting For Until It Has Consequences to Them, Too.)

These aren't even mutually exclusive statements! It could be entirely true that the police chief of Portland is a partisan Democratic official opposed to everything the President does, who is also correctly and accurately describing how completely incorrect the President's sputtering claims are.

One thing that comes through awfully clearly in these ICE videos is how many of these goons gravitated toward the job because being able to assault people with impunity is a big thrill for them.

Looks like I need a new start word. Wordle 1,553 1/6* 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

There are worse UI failures, but the one that is chafing me recently is appliances that are sitting powered on but idle, or have a low battery, so they "helpfully" beep to alert you. But they do it loudly. Exactly once. About every half hour. Somewhere in the fucking house.

Ugh, nobody is willing to pay the tariffs on this stuff now that it's finally arrived. Say, how much is it insured for? You don't say. Well. WHOOPSIE! oh noze abc7.com/post/shippin...

If you're feeling blue today for any reason, just remember that the first gooner who is going to have his dick ripped off by an Optimus robot is, right this very minute, already getting his life savings ready for his pre-order.

Yes, yes, he was only banging all those underage girls to collect evidence. President Sex Detective, that's what he was.

You know what should move fast and break something very specific, maybe, is the law. www.reuters.com/business/met...

Expect to see a LOT of this as these so-called "trade agreements" firm up in writing. They're all planning to just wait the old fucker out and then they can stop pretending they were going to do any of it.

This is patently and obviously true, so much so that he couldn't even come up with some bullshit to force @matt-levine.bsky.social off vacation for an emergency newsletter. www.rollingstone.com/culture/cult...

They say phones only make us miserable but I just got this news alert and laughed for a solid minute so who is to say

Say what you will about organized crime, at least it's organized. The White House is just slapdash clown-car crime run by the world's demonstrably-worst hiring manager overseeing random trash goons, like a raccoon fishing from dumpsters to run the nation. www.ft.com/content/030f...

Be the Basilisk you want to see in the world.