The President should pardon both Elizabeth Holmes and SBF but only if they marry each other and live together on a reality TV show.

The circle is complete. Without his cynically-executed gay marriage stunt in 2004, he would have been drummed out of his mayorship and his political career would have probably ended. It is the very thing that saved him, so of course he must shed it now, like the last bits of a reptilian molt.

Executive Orders For Everything Right Now vs. Work With Congress To Get Lasting Legislation Passed is just the delayed gratification one cookie/two cookie experiment being run on the entire global economy with, of course, a toddler as the subject.

Three dissenting justices warn that the majority decision might unleash chaos, as if the entire past fucking year hasn't happened. Oh, I see, we only care about chaos if it might touch a pile of money.

I can't believe this Radical Marxist Court has decided to redistribute America's Wealth back to Literal Communists!!!

I just realized that Margie's soon-to-be baby in Fargo is gonna be 40 years old next year.

I feel like disenfranchising people who have been trained to kill effectively and without remorse might be the worst kind of self-own…?

If you thought AI slop pretending to be real for engagement clicks was bad, just wait for the coming wave of completely mediocre traditional work pretending to be AI magic for gullible investor money. pivot-to-ai.com/2026/02/18/s...

right now there is a man who has blown $85,000 on a gambling site and ruined his children's future, when he could have purchased a platinum Rolex Cosmograph Daytona for the same amount and enriched his family's lives

The S&P 500 has increased by 14.5% in the past year. It's measured in US dollars. The dollar has decreased against the Euro by 13.1% in the past year. That's a mere 1.2% of real growth against global value. (1.145/1.1131) Inflation, meantime, remains sticky at 2.7%. (You can do the math from here.)

They must have gotten a new poll that has the President so underwater that it looks anomalously bad and they are preemptively embracing utter cowardice rather than risk ire. (They'll re-embrace polling if a Democrat ever returns to the White House to get dunked on.) thehill.com/homenews/med...

A steadily disintegrating labor force is the new normal, get used to it, jobs numbers going down faster is actually better because it means this administration's eradication of everyone who actually works in America is going even better than planned!

As a principled libertarian, I voted for Trump and supported all of his attacks on free speech and civil rights until it became clear that Trumpism had no political future

A whole NY Times article about how "libertarians" were the ones doing all the warning from the very beginning and it's only the next to last paragraph that mentions a few names who are just barely, just now, starting to object. Where's the receipts? Oh, right, there are none. Burn this trash rag.

It will be like Nixon, almost nobody will admit to having voted for him ten years after he's well and truly out of power.

Google thinks interest rates are going up and staying up for a while. www.ft.com/content/3260...

Lol, it was red state voters putting pressure on their red state legislatures that crumbled the barriers against all this stuff and turned them into national pastimes. Republicans LOVE weed, porn, and gambling. They are WAY more degen about all three than libs are. www.nytimes.com/2026/02/03/o...

“Measles at Disneyland” is simultaneously a news story, a metaphor for current events, and a good idea for an 80s Orange County hardcore band.

Melania picking one of her old johns to put together the puff piece grift biopic that's going to keep her afloat when her cuckold president husband is gone one way or another is just too good not to be true.

“Man who corresponds with Jeff Epstein asking for women’s contact information and later has said communications released also runs the Center for Advanced Hindsight” is killing me.

You would be hard-pressed to come up with a better metaphor that represents, all at the same time, how far the film industry, the tech industry, and the United States itself have all fallen.

*POOL IN MERGER TALKS WITH PEE AHEAD OF PLANNED CHILDREN'S BIRTHDAY PARTY

Obviously the way to "securitize" robotaxi revenue will be to make a Tesla cryptocoin that is the preferred (possibly only) currency robotaxis will accept, you heard it here first.

At this point, when the president thanks us for our attention to this matter, it's basically Jeb Bush asking everyone to please clap. Absolutely nobody is seriously paying attention to this matter anymore.

"Because I will never receive the award for Peace, I shall instead become a man of War" is a real page 2 of RICHARD III stunt.

1982 Roy Batty: I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe… 2026 Studio Exec: thanks to AI special effects, we’re proud to announce Things You People Wouldn’t Believe: The Adventures Of Young Roy Batty-

Santa Clara Valley at 12:34 AM

Should be a spectacular Dragon re-entry viewing opportunity for coastal Californians at about half past midnight tonight. (Splashdown near San Diego at 00:40) Worth staying up for, if the sky is clear. It will come from the northwest but don't worry, you can't miss it.

the dynamic where people 1) say something sort of rude directly to someone, and then 2) smol bean at the person and tell them their follower count when quote-posted for it is strange if i am mean to a large account i am praying they quote post me

"Please, Nicolas, we can take you anywhere you want to go. How about the Southern District of New York? Isn't that where you're going, to be arrested by President Donald? We could get you there by nightfall. We can even transport your wife. We know how much she means to you."

Operation just 'cause www.cbsnews.com/live-updates...

Holy hell, that is a lot of, uh, everything to have sitting in under-regulated darkness. www.bloomberg.com/news/article...

An estranged heir may need to interfere with their father's empire. Rivals and assassins are in constant pursuit. There is a deeper state of mind with its own rules but shared symbology. A safe's combination must be remembered both above and below. THE PHOENICIAN SCHEME or INCEPTION, which is it.

Those Peanuts cartoons where Lucy pulls the football never get old, an infinitely repeatable gag because the structure is so reliable and unvarying. www.nbcnews.com/politics/con...

I fucking hate satisfaction surveys that ask "How likely are you to recommend us to others" on a scale of 1 to 10. You're the power utility company, the phone company, my health insurer, these are not things I "recommend" to other people because their choices are as limited as mine! My answer is 0.

It turns out AI might even able to put face-eating leopards out of work. A robo-leopard will be able to mostly eat faces just fine, and it can do it around the clock.

It says so much about both Joe Rogan and AI music, that he's effusively into it.

What a completely classless piece of shit he is. Imagine anyone thinking that guy is America at its best. New York was right to shun him. History will, too, eventually. But not before every last good thing about this country is fully flushed down his toilet.

The stupid surprise here is not that AI failed to do the job that they gave it. The stupid surprise here is that Amazon put the results live into production without any actual knowledgeable human, not even one, reviewing the product for accuracy first. www.ign.com/articles/eve...

Sometimes you hear about a thing for the first time and it immediately goes on your Anti-Bucket-List, the list of things you are definitely not going to do in your lifetime, and for me, this week, that thing was crossing the Darién Gap.

(they found a way to get both)

Amazingly, the Mouse is going to have its cake and eat it, too. (And by amazingly, I mean entirely unsurprisingly. They were obviously going to mash both buttons.) deadline.com/2025/12/disn...

"Real Wives of the Solomonic Temple Kingdom" is a goof-ass pitch I am just putting out there for free, for anyone to make, because I would hella watch it.

"Don't worry, these foreign governments will have no equity governance rights at all, we'll just be beholden to them for many billions of dollars of forgivable loans, there's no possibility of abuse there at all." www.businessinsider.com/paramount-wb...

I know this makes me a bad person but I kinda wish Geddy Lee and Rush would get involved in some kind of massive lawsuit so I could joke that today's Tom Sawyer needs a keen keen lawyer.

Half Life (1998) is now as old as the first ever arcade game, Computer Space (1971) was when Half Life was released.

There's so many weird and wonderful indie TTRPGs out there. bundleofholding.com/presents/Sal...

The bot I built to buy short-dated out-of-the-money call options on companies mentioned in Money Stuff is going to get me investigated by the SEC, thanks a lot

Easy choice if you're a deer deciding where to buy a house