if the masked kidnapper in street clothes puts you in the trunk, you’re toast. if in the backseat i guess that’s just an ice agent

i need to drop another 5lbs to make it out of sweatpants hell

i think if the director of the fbi was referred to as “meme-coin patel” his behaviour would make a lot more sense

Show me money!

paradoxically Trump’s UN speech was much funnier than Jimmy Kimmel’s comedy bit but those UN ambassadors seem to be a tough crowd

other people's wars keep me awake at night

another day, another burnt grilled cheese sandwich for dinner

”America Thirst” for big government, big corporation, big war, and big censorship. but at least they ain’t woke, right?

i thought American conservatism was about small government, pro personal liberty, pro free speech

something more like “america thirst” am i right

freedom, a concept invented 400 years ago by some coloniser probably

low carb because i don’t wanna wear sweatpants no more

i proof read my bleets AFTER i post them, just to keep things super exciting

i want to sleep for 6 weeks, why is that not okay

Trump is like the elder guy in the movie repeatedly slapping the television because it’s glitching, rather than calling a technician because hitting the tv is an outlet for frustration.. oh btw, your entire country is that television

I dont know if any human being has ever had as much natural charisma as Benicio Del Toro

i’m about to flip a table if the last 3 peacemaker episodes don’t arrive soon

now Kimmel is back i can continue to never watch an entire episode of Kimmel

spell autofill now clipping the last letters off my words for no reason. is this the game we are playing now?

sharia law isn’t really a thing. have you ever tried imposing laws on an entire city? it’s very difficult

as a Londoner, i can confirm that contrary to whatever Trump says. sharia law will not be coming to the streets of London

spiralling into existential insanity is a great way to spice up a boring afternoon

Exotic weekend activities such as maybe I will make some soup

looking back i ask myself: was Thanos all that bad? i mean at least he wasn’t racist

I’m not trying to be annoying. It’s just who I am.

i have yet to experience stuff like caring what ppl tthink

i’ve learned that apparently hate speech isn’t free speech unless you’re screaming stuff at black ppl

gonna eat my weight in pizza and then complain about my weight

it isn’t raining ri now but i kinda wish it was

watching late night tv now must hit different, knowing government officials are literally watching it at exactly the same time

how’s that “free speech” tasting nowadays

crazy how no school massacre has ever inspired half the government to immediately begin doom podcasting

social media is so much better now that absolutely everyone is on it and government officials are actively reading timelines

so sad government officials are resorting to podcasting now. If only there was some other way to get their messages out

It’s way too early to be this tired

time flies when you throw your watch in the air

crabs have got to be the creepiest things I’ve eaten this week

@3pagodas.bsky.social I saw your last message but can’t use the function. I hope you’re getting by, sir

“maybe it will happen today” - early 21st century american proverb

I need more motivation. I need more focus. I need more pizza

hey, I didn’t see you at ninja class last night

Fuck these unsalted french fries all the way to hell

i ❤️d half of your tl and you dare unfollow, best believe i’m taking every one of those bitches back

it isn’t a true internet tuesday until “busty slut” follows you

the western male construct is so tyrannical

"An Anvil Thinking of an Anvil-Shaped Cloud" oils, 64" x 40" #museums #architecture #artyear #art #artshare #oilpainting #painting #surrealism #symbolism

i’ve decided that I’m just going to be crazy for the rest of my life

Feeling crashy outy