finally muster up the energy to go out and get more of the specific kind of iron I like to use, both places that said they had it in stock don’t. what is the fucking POINT of having a stock indicator in your fucking app then

why does my skin look weird… or is it just the light… it seems so much more textured visually? is it my body wash or is there hormone fuckery… smh

my mom says I’m a fighter because I keep on trying I just wish everything weren’t so hard for me and I weren’t so fucking painfully lonely, I’m so fucking lonely every day it feels so bad and I just keep blaming myself for it because well if I went out more and put more effort I would be less lonely

what is it called when you’re not in physical pain but it feels like you’re in an emotional pain where your aura is being grated down by 10,000 cheese graters

remind me to take iron when I get home in case I’m low on iron… my cycle is off too I’m delayed

I really need a hug I have cried every single day this week

I just want to feel better I keep telling myself it’s bc I’m not trying hard enough or I didn’t do well enough I know sometimes crashes just happen & I couldn’t have anticipated them I just… I wish when my energy is going back up that it would stay up. I had a whole month of feeling Cured

why can’t I just accept that I don’t feel well and need some extra time instead of being like “well I stood up without screaming this means I should’ve been able to do 8 hours of heavy lifting at work plus an hour of driving to get there and back”

A Constellation of Chronic Medical Conditions Commonly Seen in Autistic & ADHD Adults

I should be doing something fun this birthday weekend but I think I’m just gonna be stuck in bed with fatigue

what’s everyone up to this weekend?

I feel bad about missing the party tonight but I feel so exhausted and unwell that it’s probably best if I don’t go

the dangly charm fell off on my nails already 😭 I’m sad

if I’m so fucking exhausted that I can’t even contemplate a 15-min drive for early birthday lunch and want to do just a 2-min drive, then maybe I should cancel my 1-hour drive to personal training and not go to my 30-min drive to a party later tonight and just be in bed watching dimension 20 all day

this came to me in a dream

*quiet screaming* why is this invisalign tray so painful oh my god

does anyone have info (interviews, writing, links etc.) on how terry pratchett used dictation? iirc a lot of his work was written that way?

I’m going to fucking collapse bro

staring at the shower wall after dr appt, crying on phone with mom, tattoo removal appt, personal training appt

where anne hathawill, anne hathaway

How I’ve Been Pronouncing It (Feat. Foghorn Leghorn, my… roommate?)

I keep getting hit with waves of grief over functionally spending the last five years with a brain injury I am doing everything I can to recover and I’m making a lot of progress but god it’s frustrating to not be where I want to be it just feels so fucking lonely

I did waterfall/happy baby last night with a firm pillow under my hips and my weighted blankie on my feet and is2g it fixed something in my back

god my sleep has been so fucked up this week. please make me go to bed on time today or else I’ll die

waow… diabolo feels different

I’m off work I’m gonna go to the park and climb the human cat tree

getting my spine muscles to actually work is wild. they’re like. they sound like bubble wrap lmao but I know if I keep going I’ll get them properly lubricated again, I’m already more able to do a proper squat. I feel like I’m reverse spatchcocking myself. spatchpussing

the eroticism of pulling a particularly tacky booger out of my nose makes me feel like I’d probably have a brain slug kink if I were in a scifi novel

I know the gold turning coppery on the crab on my nails is because the plating is coming off, but it’s really funny to me to imagine that the crab is slowly cooking

I was really worried that the depressive episode would last and have me backsliding a ton, but everything I did yesterday seems to have halted it and I feel myself stabilizing and improving today even without good sleep. and I didn’t even have to take my antipsychotic, which makes me feel awful

I woke up and was able to just reassemble my pillow and put away the drying setup I made and just walk in to my closet to get clothes which all felt really nice. didn’t get enough sleep because I ate dinner late and couldn’t sleep but I’m gonna slowly and achily make my way to work

@stardusted.bsky.social omg??? the COLORS

congratulations to me for advocating for myself and learning to take care of myself better and coping with very negative emotions in a productive way (taking a walk, identifying dopamine crash, reaching out to my tops, cleaning my room, showering)

I didn’t get enough aftercare & I’m blaming myself for not realizing I would need as much & not speaking up about the little things I could’ve asked for & I’m trying to take it as a learning experience of what I’ll need to do next time but it doesn’t change that it’s triggered a depressive episode

I’ve been cleaning my room all day and my closet is nearly perfect but the rest of the room is not and I’m running out of steam and the sadness and loneliness are coming back

really stupid how the vyvanse fixes the dopamine. like that’s literally what it’s designed to do but. ugh

congratulations to me for taking the right combo of meds and putting on my clothes so I stop crying

trying to coax dopamine back into my brain it’s just so bad. it feels so bad. I was doing so good but just a little extra excitement will derail me. I am so sick of this

chronic loneliness is hell

woke up from desperately needed more sleep but am now so hungry I could cry, like my god who would even want to date me when my room isn’t clean and I can’t take care of myself, I feel so embarrassed about myself

*lies down and cries* I’m so exhausted why do I always feel bad about thinking about taking care of my needs

why is it so difficult for me to explore my sapphic side I mean, other than the fact that I live in a very conservative area and going to the queerer areas is a whole-ass day trip…

damn. I belong in the louvre. I’m a work of art. except to be honest I’d probably be in the pompidou

nice side effect of wearing a facemask is I can make stupid faces as I exercise the tension out of my lips which has a surprising effect on my posture. entering my even sexier era

last night I’m all I just wanna have a lazy day of nothing for my birthday and today I’m all like well maybe I should do something with friends like I need to just make up my mind already

going to work today was a mistake