2025 makes me think Heaven’s Gate had the right idea

Are we dead yet? K. I’ll come back later

It’s almost like nobody can afford a home

I feel it’s safe to assume goats in Iran will think twice about having a nuclear program in future

Don’t make it about Trump. Make it about hard working Americans who are struggling. And mean it

Don’t worry. Dems will bring in Merrick Garland again to clean this mess up

Anybody else feel like the next dem ticket has already been chosen? These are my texts

lol www.jalopnik.com/1894493/hund...

Wait so Cuomo is back now? That’s it I fucking quit

Hours later and I’m still laughing at this… 🤣😜😂🤪

There is a lot you’re not being told

Floor is open to any who would like to voice a reason they don’t like Mamdani. I listen, even if I don’t agree.

Fine, no tax cuts for the middle class. How about a little help getting insurance to recognize children’s dental as medically necessary? No? Ok. Gonna be a super chill election year watching from my deck.

Let all the political dynasties crumble to dust. They've been disastrous for the U.S.

Wait until people with no assets figure out they’re immune to medical debt

As much as they’re saying the strike in Iran was successful I’m starting to wonder if they didn’t just bomb some goats.

How did we get to Sharia law? Because Mamdani is muslim? God we are so fucking racist

it’s time for Millennial James Bond. he’s listening to podcasts in the Aston Martin. a henchman steals his vape and instantly dies after taking a hit. there’s an action sequence where he gets too high at an LCD Soundsystem show and starts punching people

I had to put a contruction flagger out for 10 minutes on a country road so I could load up a machine. This cock diesel mfer blows right through the stop sign. I gave him the finger. He stops, backs up, and starts arguing with me. Yeah let’s go bro! 😂 People are nuts!

We have the GOP representing the top 1%. The old guard dems representing the other upper 9%. The far left representing the bottom 10%. The other 80% get White Claw hard seltzer.

Hey we’re gonna get the greedy upper class to pay for all these socialist changes right? We’re not just gonna tax the middle class again? Right? Right??

It was either change the party or put a defibrillator on the house floor

Schumer is next. He can save himself a lot of trouble by stepping down with dignity.

Wake up Democratic Party old guard establishment. This isn’t about New York City. This is the way the wind is blowing. Step aside for young people who this country will need over the next several decades long after you are gone. Enough with your egos and the big money interests.

The media doesn't want anything to change, ever. They want to keep the city and the country sucking at the teat of business titans and will crow for any politician who promises more of the same.

The only reason everyone calls the primary in NYC a surprise is because they don’t listen to the people. Hopefully more people realize you can’t fix a broken system with the same broken people.

Democrats when they run someone young enough to understand basic slang

No one in the world can think this is a serious leader. He is a stain on humanity.

New York wasn’t about the mayor position. It was about an entire country of people looking to see if the left is moving forward or going to fall back into the same old crap that got us here in the first place.

His bombs impacted off the surface again

Big Balls has to go back to living with his mom now

Nice job NYC! Y’all had us worried for a moment

In NYC race for Mayor, Zohran Mamdani and Brad Lander (who cross endorsed each other) received 55% of vote to Andrew Cuomo's 36%. Democrats are hungry for people who will shake up the status quo and who vocally reject the corporate Democrat's GOP lite BS. Good lesson for Dems nationwide!

Immigrants in areas with an ICE presence need to get themselves an ICE costume. When they go out, wear a tactical vest, mask and wrap around sunglasses. Blend in

What wine pairs well with 3 major religions each with an insane leader ready to start a holy WWIII in the middle east?

You have to starve a whole city of children just to pay for the fuel to get the B-2 bomber out of the hangar. It’s good we have lots of expensive crap though. Who needs healthcare anyway?!

Oh I get it now. Cuomo is 67 yrs old. Mamdani is only 33 yrs old.

Those bunker busters only penetrate a few hundred feet. How do know we even hit anything?

Rudy Giuliani is watching this whole Cuomo thing and thinking “well I do need a job”

No, George Santos did not endorse Cuomo because George Santos is in jail, right? Right??? Do we even have prisons anymore? Seriously, what’s the point?

You might not need to raise taxes on the wealthy if we just close all the goddamn tax loopholes. We can’t even do that

Crypto is for illegal online gambling and stuff like onlyfans. That’s why so many young men own it. Mark Cuban couldn’t say it directly because he is part owner of Polymarket. Point is, crypto is here to stay. Honestly, we have bigger fish to fry

Fuck it. Go ahead vote for Cuomo. We don’t actually want change. Nobody listens anyway. Cuomo is the big money candidate who dresses like a mob lawyer and can’t ride alone in an elevator with a woman. But hey it’s your vote. Don’t let me catch you wondering why voters hate dems though

It’s like watching Zaphod Beeblebrox negotiate a ceasefire with the Vogons

Trump heard he needed an Iran expert and called Josh Hawley. Nobody ran like Hawley

Show this to Trump and see if he even knows where Iran is on the map

The white house is acting like the Iran thing was the sneak attack of the century. Everybody knew two weeks ago it was going to happen

Trump’s cabinet is so proud of themselves for launching a successful attack without accidentally inviting some rando into the war room