“whatever club he’s invited to join has been devalued by the invitation”

Girl dinner, when it's been awhile I'm plating up in style tonight Oh ease maker You fast breaker Whatever you're serving, I'll eat with delight Two cheeses, olives & a pear There's not a lot to spare, to eat We're after the same carton's end Dishing up at 10 My charcuterie friend Girl dinner & me

Saw a tweet referring to MTG and immediately thought “Megan Thee Galleon” which is I guess a pirate themed Megan Thee Stallion drag act

Gritty realist Melbourne Cup party where you win a glue stick if your sweepstakes horse dies #NupToTheCup

Performative leftist dude who happily goes to his work’s Melbourne Cup party but insists on calling it the Naarm Cup

a friend leant me a game console thing and i have learned two things: 1. kirby is great and i love his little game, and 2. i do not care for this mario character.

If you live in a major city, you may have noticed more people wearing bandanas around their neck, as the accessory has made a small comeback. Typically made from cotton, the bandana — distinct from the ascot — has a long history in working class aesthetics, as it serves a practical function.

The result: a display inspired by our lush springtime Hallowe'en. It was a rushed effort in the end but something to build on next year. It's storming outside, incidentally.

I ❤️ meeting new people & having the fact that both my parents are 💀 come up & then they say "oh wow, that's a lot of trauma!" & then they look at me like how are you still walking around like a normal person? Cause yeah, that's a lot of trauma! How am I still walking around like a normal person??

when Tom Holland and Zendaya get married, he should take her last name and become Tom

I hope planner organisers know that every time I look at a week-to-an-opening layout and you've given Saturday and Sunday half the space as the other days, I think "gross" and walk away. What kind of hustle-and-grind productivity ghouls are you?

BRAND NEW Far Side from Gary Larson just dropped

Congrats to the Tawny Frogmouth! www.theguardian.com/environment/...

As I walked down the George St under the plane trees, chants around me interrupted by coughs, I realised urban planners had invented non-lethal anti-protest weapons before the police could

Flowers growing out of skulls. Cottagecore witches.

When I was your age, searching for a phrase in quotes returned results for that exact phrase

5 ways YOU can use the torment nexus to maximize your workflow

I think at night all the Skarsgards line up and get inside Stellan like Russian dolls

give greta thunberg a gundam

Don't forget to vote in today's round for the Australian Bird of the Year!

that's not a very nice way to refer to London museums

"One of our dead bosses is haunting the printer." -- @horrorvacui.bsky.social

Morning walk

Why are the bees in New Zealand so huge and fluffy? They're like bumblebears

They're making the sunsets transgender!

Yeah okay but they seldom make history

There are two types of covers for mid-century classical LPs. There's the boring, safe "slap some old master painting on it & some titles in a basic serif font" and then there's the more fun "I've been to art school and I like Shapes and Getting Weird With Them"

this is, hands down, the best video I've seen on men's influencer content and it's not close either

Confessing my sins that I also want sure which one he was

The implication of the blood being symbolic and not literal suggests that this McDonalds does not believe in transubstantiation, and therefore is a Protestant chain post-Reformation

Whoops, a week later again. Head's up, this month is going to be Siptember. Janudry ✅️ Sobruary ✅️ Parch ✅️ Aprohibition ✅️ Abstemayous ❌️ Merry Month of May 🥔🚮, 💕🏕 Juice-Only June ✅️ Dry July ✅️ Tee-totaugust ✅️ Septemperance Octsoberfest No-Booze November Dec-sober

Every year I put off doing my tax return and every year it takes me about 10 minutes

Thei wante us talkinge on our phones to a demon thei created, and not goinge places and being wyth each othir yn art and joy and communitye. Thei want to sell us hell and have us pay for it.

they’ll just move him to a different parish and he’ll do it again

The worst thing about the US political system, at the top of a very long list, is how there is no break in the election cycle. The spectacle never ends, and it takes up so much work that no one has time to make change in other ways because you’re always campaigning and that’s so much work.

Haha, my time has come... If you see this, post something monochromatic.

"Pat, why do you carry that ridiculous 600mm lens on long hikes?" Buddy, I can see mountains reflected in the eyes of a trailside pika.

i'm sorry for all the bsky users who won't understand this very erudite niche Australian dialect pun that also does great genre work

I feel like the colour has been sucked out of all the shops. All the clothes and homegoods are in muted, tasteful, conservative neutrals. The closest you get to a colour, a feeling, an emotion is dusky rose or an eau de nil. It's fn depressing.

Don't say you've explored each other's bodies unless you've shrunk down in the magic school bus and swum through one another's lymphatic system

I was not attracted to this man until I listened to him calmly, exactly and thoroughly talk about flat whites.

Sickos.jpg

I doth compass or imagine the Death of our J.K. the Rowling

Feels like every new movie I see advertised these days is horror :(

live action catbus looking pretty sweet

Janudry ✅️ Sobruary ✅️ Parch ✅️ Aprohibition ✅️ Abstemayous ❌️ Merry Month of May 🥔🚮, 💕🏕 Juice-Only June ✅️ Dry July ✅️ Tee-totaugust Septemperance Octsoberfest No-Booze November Dec-sober

Aside from the questionable morality of gambling ads, why am I getting all these blokey fn Sp*rtsB*t ads while I'm watching Sex and the City? Talk about missing the target audience.