I know sometimes people feel awkward telling their doctors certain things going on with their bodies, but I've got to say, even though it's gross, the doctor you should feel *least* awkward talking to is the gastroenterologist. Those freaks chose to be poop and butt doctors.

Go update your LinkedIn settings.

Just a reminder before the “big announcement” today. Autism was discovered in 1911 and the modern definition of Autism came in 1943. Tylenol wasn’t widely used until the 1950s. Anyone trying to tell you that Tylenol causes Autism isn’t someone that should be taken seriously.

Let's go Adam Sandler and Michelle Williams, maybe?

It’s just preseason, but there is hockey on my screen and I’m so happy (and ready to be hurt again)

Eagles running away from the Rams ⬅️ January | September ➡️

We made Art But Make It Sports!!

Merrill sounds like he's fighting back tears, which I can fully appreciate because I was, too. It feels silly to cry over a regular season game, but I was right there.

If I had a nickel for every time I'd looked up at RedZone in the past ten minutes and watched a team in green block a field goal and run it back for a touchdown I would have two nickels which isn't a lot, but it is weird that it happened twice.

Weirdly specific stats, I love you!

Big man TDs are the best kind of TDs (even the unnecessary ones)

I need you all to know that my heart rate went over 100 just from sitting on my couch screaming

FUCKING RIGHTSSSSSSSSSS

TWO, Nicholas??

MY FAVORITE SKINNY MAN

THAT'S MOTHERFUCKING PASS INTERFERENCE

A J BROWN

These taunting penalties are out of control

THAT'S SOME EAGLES FOOTBALL

A J BROWN

Give Lane Johnson whatever he needs in that tent

THE BALD EAGLE STRIKES AGAIN!!

ZACK BAUN we love to see it

GO BIRDS

The most beautiful perfect stunning day for some football.

Gene Autry, Beethoven, or WIP (sports radio for the non-Philly people). Those are the only options.

I had turf toe 2 years ago. Mine was only a partial tear, but it was still an unpleasant experience and had me in a boot for 6-8 weeks. Playing football with one would be impossible. Fun fact, this is not the first stereotypically football-related injury I’ve gotten while not playing football.

I think Morgan doth protest too much #BB27

One of the big projects in the last week was mounting my puck collection. A lot of these are from the 90s and have been sitting in boxes for years, but now they all have a home.

A whole category of women and the one man wins? Affirmative action.

“Go Birds, Fuck ICE, Free Palestine” aka the Bluesky motto.

"I just want to say, go birds, fuck ICE and free Palestine," "Hacks" star Hannah Einbinder at the #Emmys

"Go Birds, [something bleeped out], and free Palestine" is how all awards speeches should end, actually #Emmys

I can’t believe he didn’t thank Sal Saperstein #Emmys

I’m going to watch the Emmys because I want to see the awards, but I don’t care for Nate Bargatze so I might just mute his bits

boooooooooooooooooooooo

Oh shut up Brady

should get credit for two TDs

Still laughing from how Nick put his whole Siriussy into that flag throw lol

Push! That! Tush!

Who was that Chief that wouldn't help Saquon up?

Smitty is SO GOOD at jump balls, it's not even funny

PICK!!!!

Tom Brady stop being weird challenge

I really hate these Ram 'Merica commercials. I hated them the first game and they have not grown on me one bit.

Tom Brady making a Mighty Ducks reference?

HAHAHAHA Butker