Everton should be made to go down instead of West Ham.

The nerve centre

Here's a super niche joke for @b3ta.com's "change one letter in a famous work of art" image challenge. I give you: The Girl with the Peart Earring.

Oh Matthew. Lucan AND Shergar, you are spoiling us. BADGER!

Someone lazy would have done this in AI. This is so much better and funnier. Jesus, Shergar looking round the tree has ended me.

Matt Le Tissier reveals real photo of what happened at Boro's training ground.

Only Monday morning and I'm already happy with the week's targets. Temporarily convinced my ex that her favourite little cousin of mine was one of the Nine Inch Nails bodysuit dancers at Coachella.

"You have chosen... poorly."

For some reason I've taken up shopping Andy Burnham's face onto Debbie Harry and now you're involved too

Lunch is ready you lot.

A drama in 4 parts.

Um, what does that 'on/off' switch indicate?

The Farage house story is 13th item on the Sky website, after The Beckhams and a story about Polanski not voting the local elections. Despite there being a story about it on the BBC site, you wouldn't know it because it's nowhere to be seen unless you put that shitehawk's name in the search bar.

Guess how I'm feeling about this

Ian is acting general manager. Adam can’t manage acting, generally. #TheArchers

I watched that whole Ben Habib interview. Highlights: Him shitting on Farage. He says there are no far right parties but he'd happily be deported if it meant Rupert Lowe/Restore running UK. Cockney patriot host then casually mentions he lives in BenIdorm. Plays out on cringe AI slop song.

I’d just like to say a big thank you to everyone who supported us in the elections. Not just the gullible fuckwits, but the ignorant morons too and all the racist bellends. Thank you all so much.

A lot of people are dumb as fuck. And they need to feel the effect of their dumb as fuckness before they realise they're dumb as fuck. However, some of them are so dumb as fuck they'll never notice.

Just taken 93yo mum to vote, she’s registered dead. In a very loud voice she said, “I’m registered dead.” A cheer went up from waiting blowflies.

'Crack open a Special Brew'.

Off to the future.

Who forgot to give Villa the memo?

Total magical moment

Cat Tea?

MARGS

Mum has just found the mid-80s photos of me in my Joan Jett bangs era.

On this day: 1973. Sergeant Howie takes the first ever group selfie on Summerisle.

A recipe for disaster.

Gulag time

Went for a walk in Lisbon. Met these guys. 🐓🐓🐓

The food. The dog.

This is frikkin hilarious 😂

You might say he got a 𝘋𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘰 of his own medicine....

Tried everything. Time to bring out the big guns.

Went to pick up Chinese takeaway and heard the waiter telling a customer they're out of duck. 🦆❌

OMG! THE BABY'S SCANDINAVIAN! #TheArchers

Hmmm to luxuriate in @thecidershedpod.bsky.social Midweeker on Patreon for breakfast, or wait and share it with daughter on today's road trip...

To be clear this is meant to be a formal movie review from a young student.

...and toilet theft correspondent.

OMG. I'm Ian. #TheArchers

My toaster manual sounds more like a sequel to a kitchen-based porno.

Guidebook for Mykonos hols sorted

Orban Out-shitters

Who are these speccy handsome divilz

Correct Ramones T-Shirt for the occasion.

A brain, an arse and a black cat. It's like they saw my whole life and put it up there on the wall.

Important new pin badge news. 🇪🇸🦇🖤

Just found a replacement for the Gamorrean Guard I lost years ago. Also immediately remembered that 9 year old me used to make it twerk.

I really can't get enough of these North African artefacts dating back to the 8th century conquest of the Iberian peninsula. They're very Moorish.

A Peregrine Falcon just flew overhead, went into a dive then levelled off, landed somewhere in that cliff face and now the swine won't come back out.